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  • Subject: Cinematic Chetzery
Subject: Cinematic Chetzery
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MArines: ALLRIGHT!...WHO PUT MAJOR EXLAXES IN MY CHILLI LAST NIGHT?

  • 03.24.2007 8:54 AM PDT
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I just wish that happened to a group of Covenant, i can just imagine fighting grunts and elites that are disfigured.

[Edited on 03.27.2007 10:01 AM PDT]

  • 03.27.2007 10:00 AM PDT

they were the failed spartan projects...

  • 03.27.2007 11:31 AM PDT
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Lord Hood: Man, I love that project GUMBY. Now the dance competitions are so much more entertaining!
Marine 1: GOD DAMN IT MARINE! You WILL get this rutine down or I'll feed you to the covenant as string marine casserole!
Marine 2: Don't you think it's alittle strange.
Marine 3: Yeah, but my wife loves what I can do now. She can't wait for my next shore leave.

  • 03.27.2007 1:49 PM PDT
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Not exactly a caption, but...erm...



An epic battle takes place around Earth. Soldiers, yelling orders out to their comrades, screaming for mercy, getting slaughtered. Covenant soldiers, slaughtering anything that isn't part of their holy alliance, whether it by men roaring to their deaths, women pleading for mercy, or children, crying. The Covenant Juggernaut won't stop coming. They will roll through Earth's defenses, and humanity will fall.

*Sad music plays in background*

Earth has finally met its end.

The Defense platforms above Earth, however, are not going down without a fight. Their Super MAC guns pound on the Covenant fleet. The warships are torn apart like toys. But 5 more Covenant ships take the destroyed ones' place.

One such station, Cairo, is in command of the most epic battle in galactic history. Cairo is vital to the UNSC fleet. If it falls, humanity falls. The Covenant will reign supreme.

Lord Hood, Miranda Keys, Spartan 117, And Sergeant Johnson are having a rather hasteful ceromony.
A supercarrier approaches Cairo. It's weapons glow deathly red, glaring at its prey.

"Sir! Covenant supercarrier, on approach!" One crewman cries.
"Coordinate fire with the nearby stations. Fire the MAC cannon!"

3 of the crewmen suddenly jolt awake. They've been sleeping. They stare at each other. One of them's cross-eyed. They were the weapons manager.
"Well! Open fire, god damnit!" Hood yells at the 3 crewmen.
Again, they stare at each other. Then, they get up in front of everyone and...

IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA DEIGO DEIGO DEIGO DEIGO...

The Covenant supercarrier's Ship Master, confused by this, orders his crew to stand down...giving an oppurtunity for the other two stations to open fire.

"ZXOMG TEH COVENANT SUPREME COMMANDER IS DEAD ROFLMAO!!1!111!!ELEVENELEVEN!" One of the dancing crewmembers scream, browning their pants.

The Covenant invasion force around Earth suddenly splinters. Humanity gained the upper hand.
----
LATER

"You three men have earned the rank of Fleet Admirals. All of you. You have just saved humanity."

As the three men are grinning stupidly at each other, Spartan 117 glares at them. Now there'll be no Halo 3! he growls. He walks over to the idiots. Grins.
-----------------
Later, the Master Cheif, Miranda, and the others are having a discussion with Lord Hood. Everyone is at their posts. All is normal...

Except for the three crewmen...who will forever dance in the middle of the room, from fear of the "BIG GREEN MONSTER!", their bodies twisted 360 degrees. (This is where the caption takes place)

Meh, not very funny, I know...but hey, I did what I felt like ^^

  • 03.27.2007 4:48 PM PDT
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Posted by: Vs Disciple
Lord Hood: Man, I love that project GUMBY. Now the dance competitions are so much more entertaining!
Marine 1: GOD DAMN IT MARINE! You WILL get this rutine down or I'll feed you to the covenant as string marine casserole!
Marine 2: Don't you think it's alittle strange.
Marine 3: Yeah, but my wife loves what I can do now. She can't wait for my next shore leave.

Didn't care for Hood's bit, but the rest was excellent. Props to you.

  • 03.27.2007 11:07 PM PDT
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*the four guys say*
Blarg, blarg, blarg blarg blarg, blllllllaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggggggh!!!
A.k.a We now are aboard the human ship! Wait, what is that........*covenant screams*
Master Cheif: I love coveanent sushi.......

[Edited on 03.28.2007 3:48 AM PDT]

  • 03.28.2007 3:47 AM PDT

I am the essence of your fears, once you awake you will be silenced...

*I guess at least one of them is Fhajad*

  • 03.28.2007 3:55 PM PDT

Loud Mouthed Gamers Editor In Chief

Seargent Johnson: Chief don't turn around.
Master Chief: Oh MY!
Seargent Johnson: I told you not to look.
Master Chief: Look at the bright side....
Seagent Johnson: Wait! There's a brightside?
Master Chief: Yes, there is, I'm not sure what. But there's bound to be one!

  • 03.28.2007 4:45 PM PDT
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Apparently, the new UNSC Artificial Gravity prototype didn't work as planned.

  • 03.28.2007 9:43 PM PDT
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Let me see you one two step, I love it when you double joint your knees

  • 03.29.2007 2:09 PM PDT
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angry that no medal was given to him for saving humanity, Master Chief twisted the commander so he could see the screen.......but his feet couldn't.
in his rage, he also gave all bystanders super-wedgies and bent their legs.

  • 03.31.2007 2:10 PM PDT

Friends are essetial to survival...they give the enemy something to shoot at.

Blaine Report: Where I Report and I Decide
Spartans of Earth

"Sir, you sure these arobic classes are a good asset for the Navy?"

  • 03.31.2007 8:24 PM PDT
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Elites in really bad disguise

  • 04.01.2007 5:38 AM PDT

­

Chief: Do a little dance!

  • 04.01.2007 8:03 AM PDT
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"you guys are so up tight, just re-OUCH . Cramp."

  • 04.02.2007 4:37 PM PDT
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"We told Frank not to play the 'Profile' build....."

  • 04.02.2007 6:17 PM PDT
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What happens when Meranda dous it with an elite.
What is profile build? A Gamertag?

[Edited on 04.03.2007 1:47 PM PDT]

  • 04.03.2007 1:45 PM PDT
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Posted by: kl
What is profile build? A Gamertag?

Read what I linked to, you will understand afterwords.

  • 04.04.2007 2:24 PM PDT

"Peace, gentlemen...
Peace is the ultimate goal of the Traxus Project.
Peace not in our time but in the future.
Future generations will benefit from the work begun here today.
Gentlemen, I give you the Traxus Project"

'Caue it's f***in CRAZY up here.

[Edited on 04.04.2007 10:57 PM PDT]

  • 04.04.2007 10:56 PM PDT
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What?

  • 04.05.2007 2:56 PM PDT

You have been plundered by Cap'n IceWolfen. Arggggggggg!

amazing what a little space travel can do to a person. I mean, its like freakin space-cabin fever all over again.

  • 04.05.2007 3:48 PM PDT
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The Road Train

I knew late night twister on sunday night was a bad idea, now i got my panties all in a twist.

  • 04.06.2007 2:52 AM PDT
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Master Chief turns round;

"I didn't know we're all cowboys!!!"

*Puts a bandanna round bottom of visor, pulls out a revolver*

  • 04.08.2007 4:15 AM PDT
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DUS-Don't under stand.

  • 04.09.2007 4:56 PM PDT