- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Not exactly a caption, but...erm...
An epic battle takes place around Earth. Soldiers, yelling orders out to their comrades, screaming for mercy, getting slaughtered. Covenant soldiers, slaughtering anything that isn't part of their holy alliance, whether it by men roaring to their deaths, women pleading for mercy, or children, crying. The Covenant Juggernaut won't stop coming. They will roll through Earth's defenses, and humanity will fall.
*Sad music plays in background*
Earth has finally met its end.
The Defense platforms above Earth, however, are not going down without a fight. Their Super MAC guns pound on the Covenant fleet. The warships are torn apart like toys. But 5 more Covenant ships take the destroyed ones' place.
One such station, Cairo, is in command of the most epic battle in galactic history. Cairo is vital to the UNSC fleet. If it falls, humanity falls. The Covenant will reign supreme.
Lord Hood, Miranda Keys, Spartan 117, And Sergeant Johnson are having a rather hasteful ceromony.
A supercarrier approaches Cairo. It's weapons glow deathly red, glaring at its prey.
"Sir! Covenant supercarrier, on approach!" One crewman cries.
"Coordinate fire with the nearby stations. Fire the MAC cannon!"
3 of the crewmen suddenly jolt awake. They've been sleeping. They stare at each other. One of them's cross-eyed. They were the weapons manager.
"Well! Open fire, god damnit!" Hood yells at the 3 crewmen.
Again, they stare at each other. Then, they get up in front of everyone and...
IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA WEYA DEIGO DEIGO DEIGO DEIGO...
The Covenant supercarrier's Ship Master, confused by this, orders his crew to stand down...giving an oppurtunity for the other two stations to open fire.
"ZXOMG TEH COVENANT SUPREME COMMANDER IS DEAD ROFLMAO!!1!111!!ELEVENELEVEN!" One of the dancing crewmembers scream, browning their pants.
The Covenant invasion force around Earth suddenly splinters. Humanity gained the upper hand.
----
LATER
"You three men have earned the rank of Fleet Admirals. All of you. You have just saved humanity."
As the three men are grinning stupidly at each other, Spartan 117 glares at them. Now there'll be no Halo 3! he growls. He walks over to the idiots. Grins.
-----------------
Later, the Master Cheif, Miranda, and the others are having a discussion with Lord Hood. Everyone is at their posts. All is normal...
Except for the three crewmen...who will forever dance in the middle of the room, from fear of the "BIG GREEN MONSTER!", their bodies twisted 360 degrees. (This is where the caption takes place)
Meh, not very funny, I know...but hey, I did what I felt like ^^