- AAAAHHHH GRENADE
- |
- Exalted Legendary Member
I'd die to become immortal,
That's why I play Halo Reach
After being sacked from Princeton, i spent the next 1 and a half years backpacking across the western plains with a family of travelling acrobats. We had many exciting adventures, including the time little Billy got trapped down a well and was forced to eat rodents to survive, before eventually passing away at the hands of a deadly Ebola Virus which zombified him, but since he couldn't escape the well, his zombified corpse was forever trapped in his state of undead hell. I left the family after having a dispute with the head acrobatee (in norweigan of course) and being left in antarctica with no food and no shelter. I was forced to drink polar bears, slain by Jesus during his second resurrection. these "polar bear milkshakes" as they were referred to in the Bible (Revelations 11:13) gave me the slow burning energy I needed to escape the desolate Antarctican wasteland by pole vault, landing in Brazil, where I was captured by a Surgeon and had both of my kidneys and my liver stolen. However, before he could take my heart, I was saved by a pack of wild dogs, who took my mangled corpse into the wilderness and feasted for 7 days and 7 nights (the week now known as Ramadan). I was then resurrected by voodoo tree monkeys in 1876 as Wilbur Wright where I invented the Bicycle, Aeroplane, and Sex. Since then, I have been responsible for such things as Life, Existance, Happiness, God, Monkeys, Cake, -blam!- and even Cheese Jesus or Cheesus (John 1:17).