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Subject: FanFic: Drowning in the Flood (Chapter 12 is posted (June 6))
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I made a new thread for this. It seemed as though almost nobody was reading it because the first chapter was too long, so I've decided to make the first one into a few shorter ones. There were few posts anyway, so I don't think very many were reading. So, please let me know what you think of this. I really would like to know before I post more.

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******* DROWNING IN THE FLOOD *******
\________________________________/

****Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry****

I awoke early that morning, much earlier than usual. The air was refreshing and damp. It was the beginning of summer, and the melting snow and ice left over from winter made it quite humid. But this was not an ordinary day. Perhaps it was the most unusual day of my life. This is the day that everything started, where all the grunts, that's right, grunts (that's what they called us) woke up early. I was actually one of the last to wake up. I sat up in my bed, and heard a clamour of noise from outside. It sounded like there were a lot of grunts chattering, and there were whining noises. I couldn't tell what the whining noises were, but there were a lot of different ones. Some were higher pitched than others.

I rolled to the edge of my bed, and lowered my feet to the dirt floor. I stood up, and walked over to the opening in the wall. I peered out, and saw a crowd of thousands of other grunts outside, standing in the swamp, between the small, dirt houses. Some of the grunts were talking to other grunts, some in small groups of two or three, and some in large crowds. Others were just trying to look over the mass of the grunts, trying to see what was going on. Some were jumping to get a better view. Others were standing on each others shoulders. Generally, they were looking in the direction away from me, in the direction of the whining noise.

I turned around, away from the window, toward the doorway. I walked around my bed to reach it, and walked through it. This took me to the main room of the house. All of the other bedrooms were set up the same way, with small doorways leading to them. These doorways went all around the circular main room. There was a table in the centre of it. That was where my family ate breakfast every morning. There were nine places set - that's how many of us lived here. All of them except for one had been partly eaten. That one was mine. But there was no time to eat now with all of this commotion. I walked around the table, and went through the main door that lead outside.

Everyone sounded a lot louder out here. The sound was almost deafening. I saw my next-door neighbour and best friend, Pel, emerging from his house in the dim light of the rising sun. I called over to him. "Pel!"

He looked over to me. "Hey!" he yelled. He ran over to me. "What do you think is going on here?" He reached me just as he finished that sentence. He was breathing a bit heavily. I turned and started walking towards the massive crowd, with Pel following along.

"I don't know," I started. "I woke up and I heard all of this noise. Everyone else had already left."

Pel looked around a bit, moving his head up and down to try and get a better look. We just got to the back of the crowd. The grunts here weren't that close together, just a few of them in groups here and there. Somebody in one of the groups saw Pel and called out to him. Pel ran over to them, and I followed.

There were three grunts in the group. I recognized one of them as Atay. He lived on the other side of Pel. I didn't know the other two. They looked similar to each other, and one was a lot smaller.

"Did you hear about what's going on here?" Atay asked. I wasn't sure if he was talking to me or Pel. He seemed to be looking right between us.

"No," Pel said. "I just woke up."

One of the grunts I didn't know spoke. "I've heard that there are some kind of creatures up there at the front, from another planet."

The other grunt I didn't know looked at the first one with a funny look on his face. It was sort of a combination of a mad and confused look. "What? Nobody said that! You're insane!" He rolled his eyes and looked away.

The first grunt looked annoyed. "You never believe anything I say. And remember when we were little? You told mom that I stole your food nipple!"

"That was years ago," the second grunt said, loudly in a higher pitched voice. "That has nothing to do with anything! You're always bringing that up! Even yester-"

His sentence was interrupted by the angry first grunt, the smaller one, as he hit the larger one, who I figured was his brother, in the face. The big one looked mad now, and kicked his younger brother in the legs, making him fall over and groan. The fallen one quickly got up and jumped onto the larger grunt. He grabbed onto his neck and started punching him in the stomach, snorting the whole time. The larger one grabbed his brother, pulled him off and threw him. Then he ran over and started kicking him, growling.

Another grunt, about the same size as the younger brother, came running in from behind and tackled the older brother, yelling "Leave my friend alone!" The older bother groaned, and the friend stood back up and started kicking him. The younger brother stood back up, slowly and quietly.

I looked up from the fight and saw that a crowd of grunts had formed up to watch, standing around in a small, tightly condensed circle. They were mumbling and chattering among each other. Just as the older brother stood up and pushed the friend over, Atay ran into the circle and pushed them apart. "Knock it off!" he yelled. The brothers and the younger brother's friend stood up, and stared at each other, breathing heavily. Atay was standing right in the middle of them. Atay put an angry look on his face, and glared at the three that were fighting. They slowly turned and walked away from each other. The crowd of grunts that were watching quickly dispersed, some of them mumbling. Most of them went back into the groups they had been in before.

Atay walked back over to me. Pel watched as the little brother went back to his house. Pel didn't seem too concerned though. "They're always fighting like that," he said. He turned back around. Atay was walking toward the crowd. I followed him. So did Pel.

[Edited on 06.07.2007 7:04 PM PDT]

  • 04.29.2007 7:44 PM PDT
Subject: FanFic: Drowning in the Flood (New Thread)

Every time you sneeze into an open Febreze portal the boner-tree drive shaft will spin into ketchup. But it doesn't stop at the number two pizza bell, not even close. It continues into the seventy eight minute long pile of green, sobbing cheese trains with no more butter, but more like the steak owed the tin cans some lovin'.

Ah, good to see the new thread. So hopefully more people will read with that length of a chapter. I'd hate to see you become discouraged and stop writing because almost nobody was reading it.

Or, people may have been reading but not posting. It's impossible to tell, though.

[Edited on 04.29.2007 7:48 PM PDT]

  • 04.29.2007 7:47 PM PDT
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****Chapter 2: First Blood****

After a while we reached the edge of the concentrated group of grunts. We had to push our way through them, and the usually soft, marshy ground had been hardened from all of the footsteps. The talking was at its loudest here, and the constant whining noise was getting nearer. Well, we were getting closer to it, actually. After a while, we came to a clearing in the crowd. A Lieaw disk rolled through it. A group of 4 really little grunts ran after it. Lieaw was a simple game where a disk was rolled down a hill, and two teams had to try to catch it first. We had to stop walking while the other team ran in front of us.

Atay watched the team run by for a couple of seconds. "Remember the time when we were playing that game and we ran into each other?"

Pel nodded and said "Yeah." I remembered that day. It was the same day I found out that my sister had almost been killed. If it hadn't been for that one tree, she would have been. I never told Atay or Pel about it though.

"Hey? Are you still in there?" It was Pel. I snapped back into the present.

"I am now," I said. Atay laughed. I glared at him, before remembering that he didn't know what had happened.

Pel looked behind us, then forward again, squinting. "Do you believe that there's something from another planet up there?" he asked. He said it as though it a lunatic gave him the idea.

I thought about it for a few seconds. "There has to be something exciting up there!" I said. "There wouldn't be a huge crowd like this - if - if there wasn't" I stuttered while I tripped over somebody's foot.

I listened to what some of the other grunts were saying while we walked forward.

"They say that they are tall and wear blue," one grunt said, matter-of-fact-ly

"Except for one," another grunt near her said. "One wears white. That one is in charge of the others"

"You hear that?" Pel asked. "One wears white."

"What? White! Yay!" I said sarcastically.

"I heard some of the others over there," Atay started, "saying that the things had some kind of stick that made a ball of light come out of it. But when the ball of light hits you it really hurts. They said that if anybody tries to get too far ahead, that the things will hit you with the light."

That would explain why almost nobody was walking forward. The noise of the chattering and murmuring was getting louder. The whining noise was really loud now.

Suddenly, I was pushed back by the other grunts in front of me. I almost fell over, and everyone seemed to almost be tripping over each other. When everyone stopped, I jumped up to see over the crowd. All of the grunts had moved to form some kind of opening between them, like a path. I jumped again and saw something that shocked me. There was a being walking down the path between the grunts. It was about twice as tall as any of us, and it was wearing something blue and shiny. It had a long neck and its head hung in front of it. It had really long fingers, and in its right hand it was holding some kind of device. The ends of it were glowing, and it had a handle in the middle to hold onto. The creatures skin was sort of a dark blue-greenish gray. I couldn't see its face from where I was, and its head was bouncing up and down as it walked. It was moving towards the front of the crowd. Once it got far enough away, the grunts moved forward again to close the pathway.

"Did either of you see that!?" I asked, excitedly.

"I saw something walking, but I couldn't see it very well," Pel said. "You jumped, what did you see?"

"It looked like what everybody is talking about," I answered.

"Let's go and get a better look!" Atay said.

We pushed our way through the crowd as fast as we could. We were far enough away from the centre of the village that there were no houses on the left of us, just grunts and trees. It seemed like everybody on the planet was here, although I knew there couldn't be that many. The crowd was getting less and less dense as we went forward. It was getting more like the back of the crowd with just a few grunts in a group here and there.

We got far enough ahead that our view wasn't obstructed by the crowd anymore. There were about twenty of those creatures standing in a line, spread out between the houses on the right and the forest on the left. They were all holding those devices. I wasn't sure if everyone was right about them being some kind of a weapon or not. The whining noise was really loud now. It sounded like it was coming from just on the other side of the trees. Pel and Atay looked at the beings in awe. I didn't trust them.

"Woah!" Pel exclaimed. "What are they?"

"I don't know," Atay said, quietly. "What are they doing here?"

I saw a grunt walking towards the creatures. He was heading right in between two of them, looking to the left in the direction of the whining noise. Suddenly, one of the creatures lifted up the device it held in its hand, and pointed it at the grunt. A bright burst of blue light came out and hit the grunt. He screamed and jumped backwards, gripping his arm in pain. Three other grunts ran forward to help, and the creatures attacked those grunts with the strange weapons, too. They all jumped back, and grunts started running around wildly, screaming. The creatures started shooting the light at more and more grunts, whenever they got too close. One grunt ran right past the line of the creatures, and they shot enough of that light at him that he died, splattering light blue blood on the long swampy grass.

[Edited on 04.30.2007 2:06 PM PDT]

  • 04.29.2007 7:57 PM PDT
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****Chapter 3:We'll Fight Their War****

I stood watching in horror, as more grunts were being killed. Everyone was turning to run away from these horrible creatures at the front, tripping over everybody. Grunts were scrambling to stand up and get away. I started to do the same, but being careful not to trip. The creatures started shooting at everybody. At least 15 grunts lay dead on the ground. I got down to the ground as fast as I could, just in time not to be hit by a ball of light whizzing over my head. I could feel the heat from it. I saw Pel frantically running away only to get hit by the light. He fell down, clutching his arm. I looked back to the creatures and I saw one throw some kind of a blue glowing ball into the crowd. It landed on a grunt and stuck to him. He looked at it, and the ball started glowing brighter, then exploded, killing everybody around him. The screaming of the terrified grunts grew louder, and the mass of grunts moved away as fast as they could. The creatures started advancing on the crowd. Grunts were ducking, trying to hide, running, or just sitting and crying. I ducked down as low as I could as a grunt was shot directly in front of me.

"HEY! STOP!" A deep voice boomed from behind the creatures. Gradually, one by one, the elites stopped attacking anyone that moved, and turned their heads towards this voice. When the commotion of the sound of the strange weapons shooting light and the crazed frenzy of grunts running away started to die down, the voice spoke again. "Elites, stop shooting the grunts, now!" That was the first time I heard us referred to as grunts.

Gradually the grunts started to calm down and turn around again. I stood back up. Pel came walking up slowly, clutching is arm where the bright blue light hit him. It looked severely burned.

Another one of the creatures, apparently called elites, emerged from behind the trees. He looked like the others, but was wearing white instead of blue. He looked really annoyed. I noticed the elites' mouths for the first time. They weren't really mouths. They had mandibles instead. The creature spoke. It was the same voice from before. "Elites, I told you only shoot them if they went passed you, and to warn them first. Not to shoot an endless supply of plasma into the bunch! And, WHO THREW THE GRENADE!?"

All of the blue elites looked down. None of them wanted to admit throwing the grenade. I assumed that the grenade was that blue ball that exploded. The elite wearing white picked up some other device that had fallen on the floor at one point. I couldn't see it very well, it was cubed shape and mostly a blue-purple colour. All of the grunts ducked and looked scared, thinking that they would be shot again by the blue light. But it wasn't light after all. What did the elite call it, plasma?

The elite held the device up to his mouth and spoke into it. It just amplified his voice, so that it was loud enough that all of the grunts in the crowd could here him. "Grunts, come forward, but don't pass these elites at the front." Everyone hesitated, until the elite yelled "NOW!" Some of the grunts jumped, and they all started to come forward. "Space yourselves evenly," the elite wearing white continued, "so that you can hold out your arms and spin around without touching anybody else. You can touch their arms, but not the rest of them."

I watched as all of the grunts held out their arms and spun around, moving closer or farther apart if they needed to. I didn't need to move, everyone else moved around me. All of the grunts either looked fascinated, nervous, or scared. Some had to step over the dead bodies. There were about 40 of them. A lot more, almost half of the grunts, had some kind of injury. A few were crying, especially the ones surrounding the dead grunts. Pel ended up standing next to me. I don't know where Atay ended up.

The elite spoke again. "Ok! Ok! OK! STOP!" All of the grunts froze in place and immediately stopped talking. Some of them were in the middle of whirling around when they stopped, and they slowly pivoted to look forward. The elite put one of his arms down. It was a gesture for everyone to put their arms down. They did. "Ok, now that everybody is arranged properly, we can start. Grunts, you are going to join our covenant. The great journey is nigh! All that are worthy will be sent to the divine beyond."

I wasn't sure what to think at this point. I glanced around the enormous crowd of grunts. Most of them looked confused. A few of them seemed awe inspired.

The elite stepped forward, closer to the centre of the line of blue elites. There was a rock sitting nearby. The elite stood on top of it so that the bunch of grunts could see him more clearly over the colossal arrangement of heads. "However, we have a fierce enemy that's trying to stop us - the humans."

The word seemed to echo throughout the village slightly as a handful of grunts here and there repeated it. I wondered what these humans looked like. Did they have weapons like the elites did?

"Other of your kind have already joined, and they have been members for some time now." The elite wearing white paused for a moment. "The main reason we're here is to recruit as many of you as possible into the covenant army."

Some other elites emerged from behind the trees. They moved in groups of two. One elite held some sort of box. The other held a smaller device that was attached to the box by a cord. These machines had the same blue and purple colour scheme. There were several of these groups, and they advanced towards the crowd.

The elite wearing white started to speak. "These elites are carrying bio scanners. They will scan you to determine if you are physically able to be in our army. If the elite taps you on the head, go home. If the elite taps you on the shoulder, approach the elites at the front."

The whining noise got louder, and some sort of vehicle slowly emerged from behind the trees and hovered behind the elite. The craft also shared the same blue and purple colour scheme, except for the bottom, which was gray. It was oval shaped and flat at the bottom. The top was purple and rounded, with a lump near the front. There was an opening in the bottom of each it, with a bright blue light glowing underneath it. There were three arms emerging from the bottom of the vehicle. They were short, and seemed to be moving around frantically, as though they had eyes and were looking for something. More of these crafts flew out from behind the trees. About 90 more appeared.

"If you are sent to the front, an elite will point you to one of these phantoms." The vehicles were called phantoms. "Stand under the gravity lift and it will pull you into the ship. You'll be taken to your new home for the rest of the war against the humans."

"So it comes down to this?" Pel asked. "They're sending some of us to fight their war for them?"

"I guess. I hope they don't pick us." I felt a strong feeling of nervousness and dread. It was underlined by fear - fear that I'd be taken away to fight a war. A war that isn't mine at that. I didn't want to leave my home. What kind of disturbed race would simply force some random beings from a random planet to fight their war? Why can't they do it themselves?

The elites with the bio scanners entered the crowd, pointing them at grunts. My feeling of dread turned worse, and I felt all hope leave my body. Almost every grunt was being sent towards the phantoms. The group of elites with the scanner nearest to me had scanned about 70 or 80 grunts so far, and only 4 had been sent home. The rest were walking straight towards the phantoms.

The clamour and chaos of the sound of grunts talking reemerged. I looked around, and saw grunts walking in all directions, but most of them towards the phantoms. Some grunts were saying goodbye to their families. Some entire families were being sent forward. I watched as the grunts reached the phantoms. Elites were pointing out which ones to go to, and pushing them or punching the grunts if they didn't go where they were supposed to. When they stood under the blue glow, they floated up into it, and vanished from sight.

I watched as the teams of elites walked through the crowd, pushing the occasional grunt out of the way. I watched the one that was heading towards me. I jumped suddenly as I felt a tap on my shoulder. I whipped around, and saw two elites standing there. Pel was walking slowly towards the front. I followed. I had never felt this nervous before in my life. That nervousness once again became dread, then a combination of the two plus something much more depressing. I turned away from the elite, and faced the front. Then slowly walked forward.

I moved with the lines of grunts that were moving forward. Pel was right beside me. I glanced to my right and saw Atay being lifted into a phantom near the other side of the crowd. I reached the elites at the front. They pointed Pel to a phantom. They pointed me to the same one. We walked up to it. Pel stood under the brilliant, blue light first. It lifted him up. I hesitated, and looked behind me. An elite noticed that I hadn't stepped under the gravity lift yet, and he approached me. Not wanting to be killed by the horrendous creature, I stepped under the gravity lift. I began to drift upwards, into the phantom, and into what I thought would be the end of my life.

[Edited on 04.29.2007 8:00 PM PDT]

  • 04.29.2007 7:59 PM PDT
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****Chapter 4: Headache****

I looked around, but I couldn't see.

I landed on a hard, cold floor. I could hear other grunts talking, and the droning of the phantom's engines. But the bright blue light was so bright on the way through it that I was temporarily blinded. I learned right then and there to keep my eyes shut tightly when I used the gravity lift. I kept looking around. I started to just see the lights on the inside of the phantom.

"You ok?" It was Pel. I turned to face the direction of his voice. Judging by his voice he was nearby, but unfortunately I couldn't see him yet.

"Yeah," I answered, weakly. I stood up, and inched away from the gravity left, being careful not to run into anyone. I heard Pel walking away, and I followed him. "I just can't see. That light was too bright."

Pel laughed. "That's why I closed my eyes! What were you thinking?"

I had just been forced to leave my planet and join some war with allies that I figured were more likely to kill me than the opposition. In all likeliness I wasn't thinking at all.

I suddenly felt a piercing pain in my face, and I started to fall over, backwards. My arms reached out and tried to grab something, anything, to stop from falling. I grasped what felt like an arm, but it came with me. About half way through my fall I was leaning on something, and I jolted to a sudden stop. Almost instantly, whatever I was leaning on fell over, too. I came to a loud thud on the floor. A grunt fell on top of me. I closed my eyes. My head had a searing ache.

I don't know how long I was laying there before I opened my eyes again. My vision was back to normal, and I saw a dazed grunt in front of me, kneeling on the ground. He rubbed his shoulder and stood back up. I struggled, and managed to sit up. I turned around and saw Pel face down on the floor behind me. There were about 40 grunts standing around me, most of them keeping their distance. Most had concerned expressions on their face. A few others seemed as though they were trying not to laugh.

"What - what happened?" I asked, warily. I closed my eyes again and pressed my hand up to my forehead. I had an immense headache.

One of the grunts hesitantly answered my question. "You were walking over that way," he gestured towards a wall, "and you ran into the wall. You grabbed onto someone while you were falling over."

"And then fell into me!" Pel interrupted.

I looked throughout all of the other grunts, looking embarrassed. I strained to think of something smart to say. "I - I couldn't see," was all I could come up with. My plan to say something smart had failed.

The droning of the engines turned to a slightly louder whirring. I felt the phantom begin to move with an overwhelming jolt. I fell over and put my hand out to stop myself from falling any further. The intensity of my headache spiked. I screamed out in pain and clasped my forehead with me free hand. The engines were getting louder and louder, and all of the grunts started talking extremely loudly. Everybody was chatting, no, screaming at the top of their lungs, but their mouths were moving as though they were whispering. Their voices were echoing off the walls, and the sound waves were aiming at me. My eardrums felt like they were going to burst! I covered my ears and screamed again. My headache grew worse. I screamed louder, but I could barely hear it over the overpowering voices of the other grunts.

I stood up and ran, as fast as I could. I swerved around the grunts. I jumped over some, and slid under others. I compressed my hands onto my ears as heavily as I could. I ran around in circles, screaming. "SHUT UP!" I yelled. "SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" I knew I was yelling, but I couldn't hear my own voice.

I heard a clanging noise from behind me. I turned around, all of the grunts were looking at me. They had stood so that they formed a pathway in between me, and a door. That door wasn't there before. It didn't exist. But now, it did. I shouted as noisily as I could. I kneeled down, squalling. I wanted to take a break from screaming. I had to stop. I had to stop and take a breath. I couldn't breathe. My head felt like it was imploding and exploding simultaneously. The door was clanging. One clang was really loud, and the door flew out of it's place, right at me. It slammed into my face. I fell over backwards. I scrambled to stand back up, and I saw three elites wearing red walk through the door. One of them pointed at me.

All of the grunts started to yell the same words, "Get away! GET AWAY!" Their chanting formed a rhythmic pattern. The elites walked towards me. I looked around, and without thinking, jumped into the blue light of the gravity lift. This time I closed my eyes.

RELIEF!

The pain stopped. The sounds stopped. The grunts suddenly stopped shouting. The elites were gone. In less than a second, I would hit the ground on my planet, onto the soft marshy ground. I'd be back into my old life.

I didn't hit the ground. I was falling. I opened my eyes. I was high up in the sky. I saw the rays of the sun shining through the clouds in the damp air. There were hundreds of phantoms surrounding me. They were all flying in the same direction, straight towards the sun. They flew into it, and the sun suddenly disappeared. The sky was plunged into darkness. I looked around frantically, looking for any source of light.

I could see green in the corner of my eye. I turned to look. There was a cloud that had been illuminated in an eerie green. I fell down passed that cloud. It was darkened again, and another cloud lit up to take its place. I saw more green out of the corner of my eye. My eyes searched the sky for the glowing clouds. They were all glowing. I was shocked as a ball of green light drifted in front of me. The warmth from the light cast itself upon my face.

I hit the ground, but it didn't hurt. I stood up, and looked around in the night. The world was silent, and was illuminated in bright green from the glowing clouds.

I whipped around suddenly. I had heard a strange sound. It was a popping noise from behind me that echoed through the forest. I heard another popping noise from behind me. I turned around again. I perceived a figure near the edge of my field of view. I turned around to look at it, but it was gone.

A gigantic face appeared in front of me. It simply hovered there, motionless, until it spoke. "Don't let them put that in your head. You didn't let them the first time!" I had the voice of Pel, but it looked like Atay's face. "Are you alright?"

I opened my eyes. The blurred image of Pel appeared before me.

"What - what happened?" I asked, warily. I strained to stand up, and my vision returned to normal. I could feel the phantom moving forward. The interior was mostly dark purple, and dimly lit.

One of the grunts hesitantly answered my question. "You were walking over that way," he gestured towards a wall, "and you ran into the wall. You grabbed onto someone while you were falling over."

"And then fell into me!" Pel interrupted.

I looked around the interior of the phantom at all of the grunts. They looked away from me and closed their eyes whenever I made eye contact with one. The tone of the room seemed tense. One by one, the grunts returned to their previous activities. Some were in the middle of conversations, others were sleeping, and one was sitting near a wall with a blank expression on his face. I started walking around aimlessly, between the grunts. Whenever I got close to one, they nervously shuffled away from me.

Pel ran up to me. He looked mystified. "Do you remember anything that happened?"

"I remember running into a wall, and elites coming to get me. I jumped out of the phantom and fell. There were other phantoms outside. They all flew into the sun, and it went out."

"The phantom went out?" Pel looked even more confused.

"No, the sun went out. But then, the clouds started to glow green, and there were balls of green light everywhere." I winced as a short ache floated through my skull. "I landed on the ground, and heard strange noises. Then, Atay's face appeared."

"Atay's face?" Pel asked, very inquisitively.

"Yeah, but he had your voice."

"What did he say, do you remember?" Pel was speaking in a loud whisper.

"He said ‘ Don't let them put that in your head. You didn't let them the first time!' Any idea what that means?"

Pel's expression changed. He looked deep in thought, and he put is left index finger on his teeth, as though it would help him think.

Before Pel could respond, the lights inside the phantom went out, and the engine stopped.

[Edited on 04.30.2007 2:07 PM PDT]

  • 04.29.2007 8:01 PM PDT
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Hey, I like this.

  • 04.29.2007 8:30 PM PDT
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  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

good fanfic! keep it up man!

  • 04.29.2007 9:11 PM PDT
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Thanks! I'm glad everyone likes it.

I might be able to get another chapter posted today. : )

  • 04.30.2007 5:04 AM PDT

yay

  • 04.30.2007 7:23 AM PDT

Every time you sneeze into an open Febreze portal the boner-tree drive shaft will spin into ketchup. But it doesn't stop at the number two pizza bell, not even close. It continues into the seventy eight minute long pile of green, sobbing cheese trains with no more butter, but more like the steak owed the tin cans some lovin'.

That's fast if you get that chapter posted today!

  • 04.30.2007 1:56 PM PDT
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Fast is good.

  • 04.30.2007 4:40 PM PDT
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Well, it's still today (although not in every time zone). And here's the next chapter.

****Chapter 5: Plunged into Darkness****

I was still standing in the dark, quiet phantom. Everyone was quiet. All I could hear was the gentle breathing of all of the grunts. Luckily, we weren't falling to our deaths. The phantoms do fly, after all. Nevertheless, I was feeling uneasy. The darkness of the phantom had induced a feeling of claustrophobia.

"What happened?" Pel whispered, after a while.

"How would I know?" I answered with a question. I realized how annoyed I sounded.

"Well I was just asking," Pel responded, weakly.

"Well I couldn't know could I!" I snapped at him. I felt extremely angry at Pel. "I can't see out of this annoying little ship, and I didn't plan to be taken from my home and stuffed into it! I don't care where we are, as long as those atrocious elites stay away from me!" The rage was building inside of me. The hopelessness of my fate had just hit me.

"HEY!" I heard another grunt yelled from across the pitch black interior of the motionless ship. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE!"

"I'M SORRY!" I yelled, but not angrily, just loudly so that he could hear me over his own voice. "I just," I started to say, quietly this time, "realized how serious this actually is."

"It's ok," Pel said. "Others have been freaking out like that since we got here."

"Not as bad as you, though," another grunt piped up. "You ran into a wall then started going insane!"

"Yeah!" That was the voice of a third grunt. "You were running around in circles, yelling at everyone! You were running around in circles for hours! Then you ran into the wall again, and started acting normally again."

I had thought that my memory of myself running around in circles was a part of that dream. I remembered falling through the gravity lift. My expression turned to confusion. "How long was I doing that?"

I heard murmuring of all of the other grunts. I could image their heads turning to look at one another while they spoke, with looks on their faces as though I was public enemy number one. The tone in their voices made it seem like they all hated me. But the phantom was still unlit, and I couldn't see them.

"I don't know," Pel answered, after what seemed like an eternity. "Probably for about seven hours."

Seven hours? That seemed impossible! I remember running into the wall, then running around when I heard the voices. I thought the other grunts had been talking, but, maybe not. Then I had fallen out of the phantom through the gravity lift. After a while, the face talked to me, and then I was back here, after walking into the wall. It didn't make sense.

I needed to know more. "What was I saying?" I asked. "Did I do anything else?"

The echoing murmur of the grunts returned. It slowly drifted away, and was replaced by rustling and shuffling noises. The grunts seemed nervous, too nervous to even answer my question. Eventually, Pel answered. "You just told everyone to shut up over and over again, but, for a couple of minutes, you were saying something else."

"What?" I felt scared to even hear the answer.

"You . . ." Pel hesitated. I could tell that Pel didn't want me to know what I had said. "You said something about being in a forest with a burnt out sun that was lit by glowing green clouds." He paused again. Even though the lights were out, I could sense that everybody was staring at me. "You mentioned a face appearing and telling you about something that would happen to us."

I thought about it. I remembered the face, but all I remembered the face saying was ‘Don't let them put that in your head. You didn't let them the first time!' What else did I say? Did the face say anything else to me? Maybe I was in that peculiar dream world for longer than I thought, but I couldn't remember it all. The easiest way would be to let Pel tell me. "What did the face tell me?" I asked him, before realising that the whole question made me sound stupid, as though I believed the fictitious face to be real.

He answered me anyway. "You said that the face told you . . ." he paused again. "Don't let them put that in your head. You didn't let them the first time! I'll stop them first. Then you stopped talking, and walked over to me. You whispered into my ear. You said that the face told you it'll plunge all of us into darkness before they put that in our heads!"

"Plunged into darkness?" I asked, carefully.

"PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS?" another grunt yelled. All of the others started yelling, both at me, and each other. The phrase "Plunged into darkness" seemed to echo throughout the phantom as all of the grunts yelled it. That's when I remembered what the grunts were yelling before, when I was running around like crazy. At least, it was what I thought the grunts were saying. What I thought I heard every grunt yell, was exactly what they were yelling now. Plunged into darkness.

"QUIET!" Pel yelled. "ALL OF YOU! STOP! NOW!" The other grunts gradually stopped chitchatting. "You think because he thought a face that doesn't even exist told him that we'd be plunged into darkness that this is his fault!?"

The air inside the phantom was quiet now, quieter than ever. For a few short seconds, I could hear Pel's voice echoing off of the walls. A couple of the grunts coughed. Some more of them made a few mumbling noises. The silence remained for what seemed like years.

"Did you hear that?" a grunt asked. It was quiet before, but the silence seemed stronger now. It was almost as if the air was quieter than silent, as though any possible noise was being suppressed by everybody's desire to hear the sound. I was listening now, to try and detect the minuscule sound that the grunt had heard. I heard it. It sounded like a popping noise from outside of the phantom.

"What is that?" It was Pel's voice. The quieter than silent became an eerie silence. My ears were tuned to that popping noise. I held my breath. I heard some other grunts do the same. I strained to hear any puny sound that there was to hear. I heard it again, to my left.

"There!" the grunt that had originally asked about the sound yelled. I heard a loud clang behind me. I instinctively whirled around, only to find the same darkness that had filled the phantom long ago. I heard the clang again. This time it was louder, and closer. I heard a third clang, and I jumped. This one was louder than the last two combined. The sound was shortly followed by a thud. It sounded as though it was inside the phantom, in the very room we were standing in.

"Is there something there?" somebody asked. Their voice was followed by the high pitched noise of something small hitting the floor. I put out my arms in front of me, and walked forward, trying to find the source of the noise.

Suddenly, a green light appeared ahead of me, and a low pitched humming noise was emitted by it. I came to a halt. I saw that the green glow was at the end of a grunts arm, which was dimly illuminated. Part of the phantoms floor was also lit. I saw that the grunt was wearing some kind of mask, as well as a tank on his back. Two more grunts, both wearing a similar mask and tank and holding their own green light dropped onto the floor, through some kind of opening in the ceiling.

"Finally, we're saved!" a grunt cried out from behind me.

The grunts wearing the masks looked at one another. "Why is there a phantom is this realm?" one of them asked. The other two shrugged an answer. The three of them walked around the room, waving the glowing light at the end of their arms through the group. Everyone was scattered almost evenly through the phantom. I watched as they circled and examined the other grunts. One of the grunts finally walked over to me, and when I was lit up, he stared at me, and then Pel. I could only see the grunts familiar looking eyes through the mask, but he looked astonished at the sight of me.

He ran back over to the opening where the three masked grunts came into the phantom. "You two, follow me!" Quickly, he added, "and DON'T say our names! Don't!"

"What, what's going on?" one of the masked grunts asked. They both ran over to their companion near their entrance.

"I'll tell you later!" He jumped up and grabbed something above him. The light at the end of his arm showed the outline of a square opening in the ceiling. The other two followed his lead. "We have to get this phantom back out of this realm! Everything depends on it." His voice echoed into the room. Followed by some more clanging noises, the three grunts were gone.

The lights came back on. The engines started again. All of the grunts cheered, except for me. I slowly walked through the phantom, to where the three masked grunts entered the phantoms interior. I peered upwards as I walked, looking for the opening that they fell through. I couldn't find it. All I found was a message carved into the ceiling, in the same spot that the masked grunts had vanished.

"Pel!" I called. "Come over here!"

Pel ran over, running around other grunts on his way. "What?"

I sidestepped to my right, and pointed to where I was standing before. "Stand here!"

After a delay of a few seconds, Pel stood where I was pointing. I jumped onto his shoulders. Not expecting it, Pel flinched and leaned forward slightly. Then he put his arms out for balance. When he was stable again, I looked up at the message that was carved into the ceiling. It read, "Don't let them put that in your head. You didn't let them the first time!"

  • 04.30.2007 5:43 PM PDT
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Dun dun dun dun!

  • 04.30.2007 6:10 PM PDT
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hey, its me again from yesterday. your a great writer!

  • 04.30.2007 6:20 PM PDT

Estne volumen in toga an solum tibi libet me videre?

Nothing suits me like a suit.

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

one of the few truly good fan fics. whats the main characters name though? i didnt hear it. Pel and Atay i think are the only names.
Anyways, nice work. 9/10

  • 04.30.2007 6:46 PM PDT
Subject: FanFic: Drowning in the Flood

Every time you sneeze into an open Febreze portal the boner-tree drive shaft will spin into ketchup. But it doesn't stop at the number two pizza bell, not even close. It continues into the seventy eight minute long pile of green, sobbing cheese trains with no more butter, but more like the steak owed the tin cans some lovin'.

Great work! When you said that the plot would get stranger, you weren't joking! There's so many things left unanswered at the end of each chapter, and I love that! And I don't think I've ever ended this many sentences in a row with in exclemation point before, either!

One main thing that I want to know is who those masked grunts were, and what they meant by the phantom being in that "realm"?

  • 04.30.2007 7:36 PM PDT
Subject: FanFic: Drowning in the Flood (New Thread)

Posted by: TheKilla88
one of the few truly good fan fics. whats the main characters name though? i didnt hear it. Pel and Atay i think are the only names.
Anyways, nice work. 9/10


what, the work? u got to be joking, its 11/10!

  • 05.01.2007 7:26 AM PDT
Subject: FanFic: Drowning in the Flood
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Posted by: Sludgee
Dun dun dun dun!
Ah, the classic "Dun dun dun dun!" : )


Posted by: Gangsta Cheif
hey, its me again from yesterday. your a great writer!
Thanks, and it's good to hear from you again.


Posted by: TheKilla88
one of the few truly good fan fics. whats the main characters name though? i didnt hear it. Pel and Atay i think are the only names.
Anyways, nice work. 9/10
Thanks, and since I've gotten this far without saying his name, I may never say it. Or maybe I wil . . . . .


Posted by: headcrab53
Great work! When you said that the plot would get stranger, you weren't joking! There's so many things left unanswered at the end of each chapter, and I love that! And I don't think I've ever ended this many sentences in a row with in exclemation point before, either!

One main thing that I want to know is who those masked grunts were, and what they meant by the phantom being in that "realm"?
Thanks, and LOL, so many !'s. You'll find out about the realm fairly soon, but you won't know who the grunts are until near the end.


Posted by: Strikin Dub
Posted by: TheKilla88
one of the few truly good fan fics. whats the main characters name though? i didnt hear it. Pel and Atay i think are the only names.
Anyways, nice work. 9/10
what, the work? u got to be joking, its 11/10!
Thanks, expecially for saying I can defy the laws of the universe with more than 10/10. ; )



Anyway, I'll start working on the next chapter now. But, I won't be able to keep working on them this much for very long. I'll make sure I keep them frequent, though.

  • 05.01.2007 2:01 PM PDT

現在メンテナンス中のため、Xbox.comをご利用いただけません。
ご迷惑をおかけいたしますが、しばらくしてから、再度お試しください。

Admiting your addiction is the first step to recovery.
For help fighting your addiction please call 1-900-GOT-OWND

AAAAHHH!!! I need more! This is like reading a book over the course of 1 year. I like reading a book in 1 DAY!! Please make haste. My dependency for fictional literature is eating away at my brain cells:P

Oh, in case you couldn't tell, I like your work.

EDIT: Could you please message me when you update the story?

[Edited on 05.01.2007 4:17 PM PDT]

  • 05.01.2007 3:59 PM PDT
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THAT WAS AWFUL! HORRIBLE! HORENDOUS! STOP WRITING!

  • 05.01.2007 4:02 PM PDT
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I don't have another chapter right now, I have two more chapters! But they're a bit shorter than usual. Anyway enjoy!



****Chapter 6: Are We There Yet?****

"So, let me get this straight," Pel said. We were still in the phantom, with the other grunts. "The same thing the face told you was written - "

"Carved," I interrupted.

"Carved," Pel continued and rolled his eyes, "into the ceiling in the same place that those masked grunts came in. Right?"

"Yeah," I replied. "And one of them looked familiar. Not only that, but right when he saw me they all left."

"Was it Atay?" Pel asked, intently.

"No, he looked more like you, actually."

The phantom started to shake, mildly, and the engines seemed to be slowing down. Some of the grunts gasped and started to murmur in surprise. The phantom shook more violently, and all of the surprised grunts looked around the interior, with their shock converted fear. The hull was rattling and producing loud clanging noises. Slight creaking could be heard, too. The phantom then jolted to the side, and roughly half of the grunts fell over. I put my hand out onto a wall to stop myself from toppling. Other grunts were breathing heavily. It was as though I giant hand had grabbed to phantom and was stopping it from proceeding any farther.

"W- w- wha- t is go- ing on?" a grunt yelled. I couldn't tell if he was stuttering because he was scared or if it was caused by the phantoms vibrations.

The engines slowed down, and their noise levels decreased. I could hear other phantoms from outside. The rattling stopped. The other grunts calmed down. One by one the fallen grunts stood back up. I could feel the phantom slow down to a halt. The bright blue light of the gravity lift illuminated. With all of the commotion on this trip, I hadn't realised that it had ceased. All of others inside the phantom stared into the hypnotic glow, waiting to see if anybody would appear out of it.

One of the grunts hesitantly walked up to the gravity lift, staring at it, as though he was trying to look through it. He stopped when he was just a step away from it. After a short pause, he said, "I'm going down there!"

"No!" at least fifteen grunts said in unison, immediately after the first one spoke. "You don't know what's down there!"

The grunt that was standing near the gravity lift covered his eyes with his hands and jumped forward and down, into the glowing gravity lift's entrance. I leaned forward slightly to get a better look at the gravity lift, even though I couldn't see through it. After a about a minute, a very long minute, a figure elevated out of the gravity lift. It was an elite carrying the grunt that had jumped through it. The grunt was wheezing and coughing. The elite threw him, and the grunt zipped through the phantom. Several grunts jumped out of the way while the airborne grunt zoomed towards them. He moaned when he hit the ground, coughed a few more times and slowly stood back up.

"Idiotic grunt!" the elite growled. "You can't breathe out there, you worthless..."

"Stop yelling at the grunts for at least one minute, would you!?" an other elite bellowed as he emerged from the gravity lift. "You've been complaining about them since you woke up this morning!"

The new elite was carrying a collection of some sort of masks. Another elite came through the gravity lift, carrying a bunch of triangular tanks. They looked like the same masks and tanks that the grunts that had found us in the phantom had been wearing. The two elites that were transporting them walked half way through the phantom and unloaded them into a careless pile. Both of the elites walked back toward the gravity lift, and disappeared into it.

"Just put those on the grunts!" one of the elites yelled. His voice faded as he vanished through the lift.

The first elite gave an annoyed sigh, and walked over to the pile of masks and tanks. He kneeled down and lifted one up of each, then walked over to a seemingly random grunt. The grunt the elite was walking towards opened his mouth in surprise as the elite walked closer. The elite put the mask onto the grunts face, then fastened the tank on his back. The grunt leaned back a bit and scrunched his face, as though the mask wouldn't be able to stay near him if he did. The elite then fumbled around the back of the tank, and after a while he fiddled with something, and the sound of air moving could be heard from the grunt. The grunt jumped when he heard it. The elite returned to the pile of masks and tanks, and repeated the process on the rest of the grunts. Twice during the whole procedure, the two other elites emerged from the gravity lift with more masks and tanks.

At one point the elite approached me with a mask and a tank. He looked even more humungous from this close. He put the mask on my face, and it sealed me off from the outside. I felt trapped behind the mask, and I began to breathe heavily. I started to feel light headed. I tried to breathe in more air, but there wasn't any left inside the mask. I almost panicked, but just then the elite fiddled with the tank he had put on me, and precious air flooded back into my mask. I breathed heavily for a while, but I calmed down soon.

After all of the grunts were wearing masks, the elite walked towards the back (at least what I assumed was the back) of the phantom. He pulled a panel off of the wall, revealing a darker room behind it. The elite walked into the room, and closed the panel again. After a few minutes, he returned. I noticed that something about the elite looked different. There was device on his face before that had lead into his mouth, but it had vanished.

"Can everybody still breathe?" the Elite asked. He peered around the room as he waited for his response. "WELL!?" the elite shouted after a few seconds of silence. The grunts cringed as the elite spoke, then they all started murmuring and discussing their air supply among each other.

I turned to Pel. "Can you breathe?" I asked.

"I can breathe," Pel answered.

"We can breathe!" I yelled out. I pointed at Pel.

"I can, too," another grunt called out. Soon all of the grunts were muttering in agreement about being able to breathe.

"That's enough!" the elite said, somewhat loudly. Most of the grunts cringed again, then everybody stopped talking. "Follow me." The elite returned to the gravity lift, then disappeared into it.

All of the grunts hesitantly started walking over to the gravity lift. I followed the one that was ahead of me. Pel was to my left. One by one, everybody entered the gravity lift that was in the floor. Some jumped into the lift, while others cautiously stepped into it. After the grunt that was in front of me was hauled out of the phantom by the blue glow, I closed my eyes, and jumped forward, awaiting the surprises that would unveil themselves at the bottom.

  • 05.01.2007 7:23 PM PDT
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****Chapter 7: Melip****

I opened my eyes just as I felt my feet hit solid ground. I was standing in a very large room. The walls were all blue or purple, just like in the phantom. There were high up platforms along one wall, and another level of the floor at the same height, in the middle of the room. There were supports holding up the ceiling, and flashing lights around the bottom of the wall panels. Everything it in was shiny. I looked around, and saw openings in one of the walls. The two openings filled almost the entire wall. There were several phantoms in the room, and about 40 grunts standing in a huddle under each of them. They were all talking and looking around, wondering where we were.

I turned to Pel. "What is this place?" I asked in awe.

Pel was gazing in one direction, and his eyes were moving slightly. "What's that?" He pointed at a grey shape that had been inserted into the wall.

Before I could answer, an elite spoke from the high up platform in the centre of the room. My eyes aimed up at the elite, who was waring white. "Grunts, welcome to the Truth and Reconciliation! This will be your home for the next while. You will be split into small squads, and will be taken to your quarters. You will sleep there, and your combat training will begin tomorrow. Your commanding elites will come here to collect you soon." With that the elite turned around and walked towards the walkway. When he reached it, he turned to the right and advanced to one of the grey spots on the wall. When the elite reached it, the two grey panels separated and disappeared into the wall, revealing another room. From this angle, I could only see the ceiling. The elite walked through the new opening, and was removed from sight. The gray panels returned to their former position soon thereafter.

"You see that, Pel?" I asked, excitedly.

"Amazing!" Pel answered.

"That's just a door, you pitiful excuse for a life!" an Elite snapped as he walked by, hearing our conversation. The elite walked over to a group of grunts, and looked through them. He pushed several of them aside into a group, then pointed at them and gestured for then to follow him. The elite walked away, and the grunts travelled behind him. The group disappeared through another one of those doors that opened by themselves.

I glanced back over to Pel, who looked depressed after that stone cold reminder of what the rest or our lives would be like that the elite had given us. I watched as the other grunts were happily awaiting whatever would happen next. I wondered why they weren't scared or worried or sad or nervous. They had been taken from their home and taken here by those ghastly elites. They should at least be a little bit upset.

I saw a few more elites enter the room, and approach a cluster of grunts. They left with a smaller formation of grunts like the last elite did, and he led them back out of the door.

"When do you think our elite will come and get us?" a grunt asked me.

I twirled my head around to look at him. "Aren't you worried at all about what will happen?" I asked.

The other grunt tilted his head as though he was thinking about it. "No, not at all. I was at first, until the elite wearing red came by and put that food in my mouth. After I ate it I knew that nothing bad would happen."

"An elite put food in your mouth?" I asked, sounding stunned. I turned my head around and called, "Pel! Come here!"

Pel came running over to me. "What?"

"I turned to the other grunt. This is Pel," I told him.

The grunt nodded. "I'm Melip", he answered. "This grunt, " Melip continued, pointing at me, "said the elites didn't give him that food."

Pel suddenly looked confused. "What food? Maybe they only did that on your phantom."

"No," Melip answered, "we were on the same phantom! I remember you!" Melip was pointing at me again. "You were the one that went crazy. It was actually before we left that the elite gave us all the food. He was wearing red, and was feeding us. There were lots of them, maybe about one hundred. They came by before the elites with the bio scanners."

Pel and I looked at each other, both confused. I knew that I hadn't seen any elites back at home that were wearing red.

Melip continued, "I told him that I wouldn't let them put that in my head." A chill ran through my whole body when I heard that. Melip proceeded, "but after he told me I only had to eat it, I let him."

"Just a minute, Melip," I interrupted, and I grabbed onto Pel's arm and dragged him away from Melip. When I made sure we were far enough away from him, I spoke. "Did you hear that?"

Pel nodded, slowly. "We didn't let them put that food in our head. THAT was the first time!"

"Will there be a second time?" I asked. "What will it be."

"THAT'S what that was about?" I jumped as the voice startled me, and turned my head to find Melip standing beside me. "So, they're going to put something else in our heads?"

"Melip," I said almost angrily, "what are you doing over here?"

Melip leaned away from me, with a somewhat timid expression on his face.

"Sorry, Melip," I said, feebly. "It's been a long day. I chuckled a bit after I said that.

"We just wanted to keep it a secret," Pel added.

"Oh," Melip said, as he leaned forward again. "Anyway, our elite is here to take us to our quarters. He just told me to -"

"STOP YOUR SNIVELLING AND GET OVER HERE!" I jumped and whiped my head over to face the elite. He was staring at Pel, Melip and I, with 5 other grunts standing around him. They were watching us, too. I walked over to the elite, with Pel and Melip following. The Elite turned around and walked towards the door.

We reached the door and it opened for us, revealing a narrow hallway with a low ceiling. It was actually fairly wide and tall, but not compared to the last room we were in. The elite led us through the hallway, and around a seemly endless number of corners. The corners had lots of flashing lights and glowing, see through panels, along with supports in the middle. All of the hallways were sloped, either up or down. I hoped that I wouldn't have to find my way through here without any help. The hallways were so confusing, and I wasn't sure if we had gone around in circles or not. I was going to ask Melip more about the food, and see if Pel had any ideas about what was really going on here, but I thought that the elite would yell at me if I did, or perhaps shoot me if my voice was even a decibel louder than usual.

After a while, I tapped Pel on the shoulder. He turned to face me, and I quickly tilted my head towards the direction we came from twice, quickly, to tell him to slow down. He didn't slow down. I started walking slowly, while I still had his attention, he started to slow down his own pace.

"Catch up, grunt!" the elite roared from the front of the group. Pel sped in order to revert back to his position in the group. I was still walking a few paces behind the rest. They disappeared around the next corner, and I kept walking, knowing that I'd see them again when I turned the corner myself. I turned the corner, and I saw that the group was gone.

  • 05.01.2007 7:23 PM PDT

Every time you sneeze into an open Febreze portal the boner-tree drive shaft will spin into ketchup. But it doesn't stop at the number two pizza bell, not even close. It continues into the seventy eight minute long pile of green, sobbing cheese trains with no more butter, but more like the steak owed the tin cans some lovin'.

Great! And that explains that phrase! But Hmm... why didn't the main character and Pel not see the elites wearing red with the food?

Also, I'm guessing that the grunt is in that strange place again with the green glowing clouds and the face.

  • 05.01.2007 7:56 PM PDT

Estne volumen in toga an solum tibi libet me videre?

Nothing suits me like a suit.

Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.

at the end of chapter seven, i have to say. Dun dun dun duuuunnnn..

Nice work. 9.5/10 *its great, but some books are better. just not on this forum, i mean real published books* *who needs capitalization for replying to stories* and the suspense of the main characters name! this is the first thread im going to save. and now i really should be writing my essay.. oh well

  • 05.01.2007 8:39 PM PDT

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