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  • Subject: Edited Title: my poetry.
Subject: Edited Title: my poetry.
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You copyrighted your poetry, eh? Admirable work. I've only started writing since last summer, though it's always a work in progress. If you're still on this thread, tell me what you think, Obbi. It's always appreciated to recieve a word from a fellow writer.

"Constant"

Don't touch me...
Don't give me pain.
I'm just a fragile heart
Enduring another strain–

Another day, another life
I live to seek, I live to learn.
More to see, more to give
Than what we all in time must earn.

Some see life in a bubble
Always free of care and need,
Yet always the illusion fades
And on their knees they plead

For another chance to make it right,
To join the threads they left undone
In life imparted free of grief
With never the rising or setting sun.

Life is only pretended constant
With ever shifting shades of pain,
So don't give place to idle thought
Lest your labors be in vain...

-Dolorous

I have others, but that was more recent than most. Thanks for starting the thread, though. I appreciate the chance for writers to share work.

  • 05.29.2004 10:10 AM PDT
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That was awesome. I really enjoyed it.

I didn't sleep much last night, so let me give it a shot at interpriting:

The theme is impermenance. People will find happiness in things they have, but eventually they will lose those things.

If that's correct, then it's a very Eastern (specifically Buddhist). I like.

  • 05.29.2004 10:17 AM PDT
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Thank you very much. And I like your interpretation. I write with vagueness to let people discover what the words mean to them, almost as if they wrote it. It's just my stylistic approach. The meaning I had in mind when writing is that life moves in cycles, which are the only constant. Every day we awake as to a new life and are immersed in a world we can never fully experience, set to drive our one course through the fabric of time. Some try to shut out the pain involved in life, thinking they find contentment that way, but they are the ones who realize in the end that they have missed the most. Since life only moves in cycles, and in a grander scope, a constant (like the way mountains make the actual terrain, but man draws an imaginary border across them), We need to realize that every action, every opportunity we are given is for a purpose, and we must not let them pass us by. I write this from a Christian perspective, knowing that our time is precious. Thank you once again for your comments, Obbi. It's always appreciated.

  • 05.29.2004 10:44 AM PDT
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Ah. :) Then our writing, though it may sound similar, will be from opposite poles.

I come from the perspective that life has no meaning, because maeaning is superfluous.

Do you have any more writing I could read?

  • 05.29.2004 10:49 AM PDT
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Good morning obbi!!!!

How was your party? not too much of a hangover I hope?

  • 05.29.2004 11:05 AM PDT
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I do

"Another Step"

A peace found but often lost
Has come again to mine own heart;
And as the sharpened crystal frost
Bids my very soul depart,
I shiver at the thought of pain–
Renewed, revived from the frozen past–
The fear and doubt once more regained,
And I, not sure if I will last,
Linger on, and not without regret
Do I tear away the next page of life
Seeing now the stage is set
And the road ahead is filled with strife.
Yet as I take that fateful step
I know, somehow, I'm not alone
And I gain some peace to know, when I've slept,
I've only come closer yet to home.

-Dolorous

I call poems mental snapshots. I think as writers, our job is to capture as many moments of inspiration as we can, because so many more pass us by. My saying is "For every word written, there are uncounted preceding thoughts."

  • 05.29.2004 11:05 AM PDT
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I have a friend, Cyle, who is undoubtably the best poet I've ever read. His poems are lyrically nonsense (most of them), but the stringing of words strikes up emotions SO WELL. He has a poem called "rage" that's just amazing.

Blasphemy Quarentine is another very good one of his.

  • 05.29.2004 11:09 AM PDT
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Your last poem had that same underlying theme of destiny, some unavoidable purpose.

  • 05.29.2004 11:11 AM PDT
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Do you happen to have copies of his work?

  • 05.29.2004 11:11 AM PDT
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Yes, it's the chord that binds my life together. What do you have that keeps you going?

  • 05.29.2004 11:12 AM PDT
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Posted by: Dolorous
Do you happen to have copies of his work?


He has a website. :)

I'll link you... http://forcemorph.gotdns.com/

He typically writes free from. It's under the "writing" section of his page.

  • 05.29.2004 11:16 AM PDT
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Posted by: Dolorous
Yes, it's the chord that binds my life together. What do you have that keeps you going?


There is one phrase that has kept me going my entire life.

"Why not?"

  • 05.29.2004 11:17 AM PDT
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Ah yes, I wrote like that as well at one time. I'm constantly shifting, so maybe someday I'll head back down that road. Thanks Obbi. If you have any more work yourself, please share.

  • 05.29.2004 11:18 AM PDT
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Also, Cyle may seem angsty, but he really isn't.

Diabolical, yes. Egotistical, yes. He had a phase there where he refered to himself as "God." That started when he sold his lego collection, I think. He loved those legos. It was quite hard for him. :P

I don't know him in person, of course. He's just a guy I've gotten to know over the years.

His band "Emo Tofu" is a joke making fun of Emo bands.

  • 05.29.2004 11:20 AM PDT
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Sounds like a merge of several people I know. Incredible mind for words, indeed. And a marathon fan... I like him already.

  • 05.29.2004 11:23 AM PDT
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Posted by: Dolorous
Ah yes, I wrote like that as well at one time. I'm constantly shifting, so maybe someday I'll head back down that road. Thanks Obbi. If you have any more work yourself, please share.


I'm currently working on an epic poem, "Sand." I don't know if I'll ever get done with it.

I have short stories. There are none that are interesting, and the ones that are I've never finished. I also have journal entries, but those are written down in a notebook and semi private.

  • 05.29.2004 11:26 AM PDT
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Posted by: Dolorous
Sounds like a merge of several people I know. Incredible mind for words, indeed. And a marathon fan... I like him already.


He is a huge Marathon fan. So much so that he calls Halo a 'cheap ripoff.'

  • 05.29.2004 11:27 AM PDT
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For the story, I'd agree with him. I've never seen it's equal, ever. I don't mind that Halo uses it though. I'm rather glad that part of it is still alive in Bungie.

  • 05.29.2004 11:28 AM PDT
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I write a form of a journal, though it's more abstract thoughts. Short stories I would love to write, though I just don't seem to have the knack for it.

  • 05.29.2004 11:31 AM PDT
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I have an interesting problem with men sometimes, so that appears in a lot of my writing. I typically make the men the heroes, and the women demons who destroy the men. I like to write from the terror of the man's perspective when up against a brutal and ruthless women. :/

Though, I write mostly psychologically. Insanity is a common theme in my writing. And because of this, many times coherency is lost.

  • 05.29.2004 11:51 AM PDT
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This is a random work I did one night.

"Evermore"

Wandering begets wanderers
Starting, then, is impossible.
Without an action, how is one to perform it?
Without a will, how is one the cause?

Why wake? Chaos is the conscious.
Why sleep? Void unleashed once more.
Why eat? Continue the process.

Do you feel the evermore?

Why breathe? Hasten the repercussions.
Why try? Remind us all once more.
Why live? Greet the condensations.

Do you fear the evermore?

Broken are the families of scattered landscapes.
Gnashing are the bleak without life.
Ending is the will without cause.
Enduring is the tower of evermore.

  • 05.29.2004 12:10 PM PDT
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Some see life in a bubble



That's me!

  • 05.29.2004 12:13 PM PDT
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Parden my french...but Evermore is DAM good. I like that one alot

  • 05.29.2004 12:13 PM PDT
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Posted by: MuellersDeath
Parden my french...but Evermore is DAM good. I like that one alot


Thanks. :)

Tell me what you think the evermore is.

To me it is one thing, but tell me what it might be to you.

  • 05.29.2004 12:18 PM PDT
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When I read it I was thinking of my own potential in life and enduring to the end, it just really made me think deeply about my motives, my personality, and my faith. Thanks Obbi, I saved that to word procesor.

  • 05.29.2004 12:23 PM PDT