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  • Subject: My AWESOME Action sci-fi story
Subject: My AWESOME Action sci-fi story

My hotplates go to 11.

Hey everybody! A year ago I got an idea in the shower and eventually it became this...
Oh i know the start is a bit boring, but its continous action from there on in!

DATABASE 343 – ‘HUMANS’

The following is a translated extract from the Zaeggarian Battle cruiser, Magenta’s flight log.

“Good Day sir!”
“Hey rookie, why did you send me here?”
“I have found something you may find somewhat interesting. The planet in System UT204, that one there, is able to support life.”
“Intelligent?”
“Oh yes. 20 extra brain cells per generation. There organisms have the potential to threaten our domination of this galaxy.”
“Can I see a projected history of the race?”
“Hey sir! That red planet can support their life too! I’ll have to included that in the projected history.”


“Well, we may have found ourselves a new nemsis, or a great ally. I will counsult the elders. When can we arrive there?”
“I predict somewhere around 56,450 QU”

SYSTEM: UT204
PLANET: “Earth”
DATE: 56,450 QU
SUMMARY: By the year 56450 ‘human’ societies are becoming self-destructive. The rapid growth of technology is impossible to be controlled by the peaceful organisations.
The ‘red-band’ organisation has assumed control of Earth. Some of the other humans fled to a neighbouring planet, ‘Mars’ which has had its atmospheric gases altered to support their carbon-based life-forms. Mars is under control of the peacedul organisation, ‘UN.’
There are a limited amount of ships fit for space travel, and it is a one-way trip.

CASE STUDY- Ken Parker (Memory Recall)

3 . 2 . 1 <PLAY>

“We’ve found it! This is our trip to Mars!” Fiona, my wife of three years, exclaimed. In front of us was a old but seemingly well condition spaceship, bathed in muddy water.
“OK, you prep the ship and I’ll go to the surface to teleport in supplies for the journey.”
I ran out of the underground cavern. The search for a ship like this began a year ago, when Fiona and I gave up out place of a transport vessel to four young children, before watching helplessly as it got shot out of the sky.

I fired up the teleportation unit and called in food, water and one rail-gun for protection. My military experience went as far as protecting our old town from red-band raids, but I knew that I’d be more than their equal. The slugs from my rail-gun, if fired downwards, would penetrate would run through the earth’s core and forever into space. It had a scope that could sense body heat through walls. I slung the supplies over my shoulder and ran back into the underground tunnels.

I came to last tunnel before the cavern and set the supplies down. I scanned the area with my rail-gun’s scope and…
Body heat was everywhere. My euphoria from finding the ship disappeared and I realised that I would have to get past all of these red-banders. Undoubtedly Fiona was down there, being held prisoner, or maybe even dead. I didn’t even want to think about that possibility. I glanced around the corner and then ducked behind. Four groups, five on the far left, seven in the middle, two near my tunnel, and four more on the right. There was no sign of Fiona. They hadn’t noticed me.

TSEW! The ship started prepping for launch. Time was short. I slung the gun and lined up three targets.

The slug impaled three men in a row. It narrowly missed the ship and continued on forever at light speed. The terrorists, although surprised, were quick to lace both where I had fired from and the water with hypermachinegun fire. It had gone so fast they didn’t know which side it was fired from. I retreated into cover as hundreds of bullets flew past where I was a few seconds.

The ship continued to prep for launch. It would only take another thirty seconds.

A lot can happen in thirty seconds.

  • 11.18.2004 6:43 PM PDT

My hotplates go to 11.

I looked through the scope, pulled the trigger. Two more bad guys down.

The trouble with firing a weapon that penetrates walls is that your enemies can shoot through the holes you had just made. Each time I fired I sidestepped left to avoid a volley of hypermachinegun fire that spat out through the sizzling hole. My gun was running out of ammunition, and that ship was not going to wait. I fired the last shot, impaling another two, and then moved as fast I possibly could without exposing myself to the holes through which bullets flew. I ripped the body heat scope of the weapon but discarded the rest. I dived into the underground cavern and onto a sizzling body.

The ship continued to prep its engines. Maybe ten seconds to go.

I was at the dark side of the cavern, but the remaining terrorists were still firing at the holes. They were taking turns to reload and fire, so if I was there I’d be pinned down. Their torrent of bullets had broken through the whole wall and into my old tunnel. I searched around the ground and found two hypermachineguns.

Cue rock music. I moved out of the darkness and let loose with both hypermachineguns. Recoil threw the guns out of my hands but the akimbo combo raked through the remaining terrorists. I bolted towards to the ship, pulling the heat scope out and scanning it on the fly. Two people, both in seats. A pilot and the tied and gagged Fiona?
I sprinted to the muddy underground creek and swan dived in. The ships engines had heated the muddy water to around 40oC. (120 or something Fahrenheit for you Americans) which was barely bearable. I swam to the ship without opening my eyes, as it would let the boiling mud in. My hands hit something solid and metal, so I desperately scanned around for a handhold. Nothing. The ship started to move and I still couldn’t find something to hold onto! To make matters worse the mud was becoming even more hot and I was almost out of air.

I blindly found a square object jutting out of the ship. I hung on with both hands. The mud became so hot that I couldn’t take it any longer. I had to breathe. I had to let something in, even if it was mud

BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!BAM!

I was pulled above the water and gulped in fresh air. The air seemed cold, as I’d just be in an extreme sauna. The ships guns were firing, a deafening noise. The ship accelerated…upwards. Into the ceiling.

I was pulled down by a sudden huge acceleration. I opened my eyes and looked up to see the ship’s guns exiting the cavern as only a terrorist would. It was disintegrating the rock above it as it rose, picking up speed. Lots of speed.

The ship shot out of the underground and into the sky. I was still hanging desperately to it. I had to get inside before we burned up in the atmosphere. I found, to my surprise, that I was hanging right next to a hatch. Just where is the panel to open it?

I ship rocketed away from the surface of the earth at extreme speed. The mud that once covered it slid away.

My arms strained as I frantically looked for a switch and then realised that the square that I was holding onto was a panel. The ship was gathering even more speed and altitude, making it impossible for me to pull myself up to hit the button on the centre of my handhold square. I took one hand off a pushed it, but the slippery mud and insane force pulled me down. I fell.

And then I stopped abruptly. The hatch had slid open instantly and now I clung to the bottom of it. I had it pull myself up, but I was straining my strength to even hold on.

The air started to thin and the oxygen dropped. I held my breath once again and pulled myself up, as gravity had lost its impact. I rolled in and shut the hatch before the whole ship would burn up in the atmosphere.

I was in, but my troubles were not over. I had to save Fiona. Panting, I jogged through the ship’s corridors searching for the bridge, where I saw Fiona and the Pilot. Eventually I found it. The pilot turned around to face me I saw Fiona next to him, unrestrained?!

Using what seemed like my last ounces of energy, I sprinted at the man and knockout him out by clobbering his head.

“Sweetheart, what happened back there!” I quizzed Fiona. I pulled the limp body of the pilot seat and sat down in the seat myself.
“Omigod, no time to explain darl, look!”
Out the window I saw us exit the earth’s atmosphere. All of the blue was replaced by the dark black of space and millions of stars. What weren’t stars, where all of the figures ahead of us. They were red terrorist ships.

All ships fired ten missiles each. The missiles were a super-heavy payload megaton anti-gravity missiles, and they would surely be all locked onto our ship.

They came closer. 20km…15km…10km…5km… Fiona put her hand on my mine. This was the end, after all that to get out Earth we would be shot out of space by a fleet of ships.

4 3 2 1

I squeezed my eyes shut. Nothing happened. Confused, Fiona and I stared at the rear view camera to see every single one of the hundreds of missiles flew past us to Earth.
That’s strange, I thought, they must have been locked on, that’s simple missile technology!

BOOOOOM!

A deafening roar assaulted our ears and Fiona and I put our hands to them. We had not their target.

Their target was Earth.

A colossal amount of energy threw our ship out of its path and continued on. In the rear-view camera, a ludicrous red explosion covered where the planet earth should be.

Fiona and I stared at it in disbelief. The radio crackled. It was the terrorists.

“Target neutralised? Affirmative. How are you Commander Fiona Curbin?”

A pistol was levelled at my temple. I had married The Commander of the Red-Bands.

Fiona smirked. “Astalavista, babe.”

I swatted the gun away and rolled out of the chair as a knife came ripping through it. The gun discharged on the ground and she unsheathed another knife, one in each hand.
She lunged at me and I avoided it barely. My mud-splattered shirt ripped open. I swung at the -blam!-’s head and was blocked in a quick and horribly graceful martial arts move. We push ourselves away from each other. Time slowed down.

The pistol lay on the ground, forgotten by her, not by me.

She readied a knife for throwing and let loose.

I dove for the gun, dodging a knife and shooting the next one out of the air. I aimed the pistol at her head and cocked the gun again for the sake of looking cool.

“Die, Biatch.”

I fired the clip dry into her head. I was -blam!- disgusting with it all. Was she undercover the whole three years of the marriage and before? It was a lie. I spat on the ground and slumped back into the pilot chair, exhausted.

The radio crackled. “I repeat, are you alright Commander?”

I grabbed the mike and looked at the dead pilot’s name-badge. “That’s an affirmative, son, this is…Morrison. Mission is a success. Over.”

The radio crackled back. “Lets fly to Mars and celebrate there.” That was not my plan. scanned around the weapons terminal. A button caught my eye, labelled ‘homing space mines.’ I smiled.

“What the hell is happening…”
“…Is Commander Curbin alright??”
“…I knew she was pretty insane, but this…”
“Curbin, your mines have leaked into space and are destroying our fleet! Do you have control of your ship?? Over!”

“I am in perfect control of my ship, I’m just experiencing a few technical difficulties on the weapons computer. Oops here goes another!” I launched all of my missiles at the fleet. They each tracked a target down and destroyed it.

“Open fire upon Curbin! She’s gone madder!”

I shut off the intercom and made another pass on the rapidly decreasing fleet. I shot two more down with the huge guns that I saw before, blowing us out of the underground. On the rear-view camera I saw a few ships catching onto my hostility and firing at me from behind”

“Tsk, Tsk” I tsked, and hit the homing space mine button a few more times.

Through my front window I saw the most spectacular, pant-peeing sight. A massive blue ship appeared from what could only be a wormhole.

“Whoa…” I breathed. The ship lurched. I had forgotten I was still in a dogfight! My ship turned around and opened fire onto the entire terrorist sucker fleet, strafing in three dimensions. The idiots had used their entire arsenal on Earth.

I turned around to face the…alien ship. It was so cool-looking.

“Roowar Unt Felar!” I heard, in quite a guttural language, not dissimilar to German.
“Uh, What?” I replied. Okay, it’s not I come in peace but it’s ok.
“Uh, What?” I heard from the ship. It had mimicked me.

A computer below the window hummed. I took my gaze of the big blue ship for a second. It was download a file from me, it seemed. The Dictionary.

“Be you friend, or foe?” I heard on the intercom.
“Oh, friend, definitely. I’m Ken Par…”
“We are the Zaeggarians Tell me, why has your home world detonated?” the very proper voice said, like it had never use any slang in its life. No slang in the dictionary.
“Terrorists did that, bad humans. My wife just turned out to be one of them. I am a good human and I like ice cream.”
“We shall see… We’ll tractor you in for analysis.” If you have any hostility to our race, you will be relocated and stripped of technology. If you wish to be allies, may it be a great alliance.”
A beam of light shot towards we from the ship.
I passed out.

<END>

COURSE OF ACTION: Present all relevant data to the elders for deciding the humans fate.




Thats it. Hope you enjoyed it. I would like some feed back, suggestions of a title, that kinda thing.

  • 11.18.2004 6:47 PM PDT
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  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Although it seemed just a tad bit rushed (well, it was posted in a forum after all so I shouldn't have expected a novel), that was the most kickass short story ever. The thing that made it so awesome was the fast pace in which it moved. I loved the "cure rock music" thing, how the main character said, "die, BIATCH" to his oh-so-loved wife, and how he also said, "I'm a good human that likes ice cream." Title should be...hm...damn. I have no clue. I'm sitting here trying to think of one. Let me think of one and get back to you.

  • 11.18.2004 9:03 PM PDT
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  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Nice. Could've done with some more backstory, but I guess for straight action you did pretty well.

  • 11.18.2004 9:33 PM PDT