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  • Subject: Fanfic: Out of the Loop? (chapter 5)
Subject: Fanfic: Out of the Loop? (chapter 5)

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

Out of the Loop?


Chapter 1 - Toilet paper

Conner and Ted have been sitting on the ring world for 12 hours now on a small Island they are the only survivors of their pelican which was shot down.
“This blows” Conner yelled for the 34th time that day. “I want some food, and some water, and some toilet paper”
Ted thought for awhile and then he said, “You think we would have found a better way to clean our asses by now, you know. I mean we can travel across the galaxy, but the only way to clean you ass is by wiping it with paper.”
“I still want some.”
“I just want my gun back”
“Why there’s nothing to shoot, there are only 3 trees on the island, you can go form one side to the other in 20 seconds.”
“I could shoot you.”
“Why would you do that” Conner asked.
“Because I am getting sick of all you -blam!-ing.” They went on arguing like this for hours until night came.
“Hey, Ted you ever wonder what’s out there” Conner asked.
“No” Ted replied
“well have you ever wondered about the forerunners.”
“What about them?”
“Do you think there might be any still around, or that we might be decanted from them.”
“How the hell would we be decanted form them if they all died, besides we’re way smarter then they are I mean the Forerunners were dumb asses they wiped out the galaxy, and let flood survived on the weapon that was created to destroy them.”
Conner thought about that for awhile and then said “well we have wipe our asses with paper on daily for hundreds of years.”
“You know what Conner your right, humans are dumb asses too, so we must be decedent form forerunners.”


[Edited on 08.26.2007 2:11 PM PDT]

  • 08.20.2007 7:53 PM PDT
Subject: Out of the Loop? (chapter 4)

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

Out of the Loop?

Chapter2 - Bright ideas

Along time ago on one of the ring worlds, two forerunners sit making the final preparations for activating the rings. Bill48-7 was just about to insert the index and activate the rings.
“Are you almost done” he yelled over to Bill307.
“Yeah, I am all read to go, but maybe this isn’t the best way.”
“Dude, what the hell, we build 7 huge ring worlds and now you think we should rethink this.”
“Well I didn’t expect use to actually build them, I thought we would have been able to come up with something better over that time period, I mean like a weapon that kills them instead of us.”
“What are you saying, you mean this rings are going to kill us?”
“Yeah I thought you knew that”
“no I didn’t know that, why the hell would you want to make weapons that kill us?”
“If we die, than the flood have no food and they will die.”
“That’s the dumbest thing I have ever herd, what’s the freaken point if we die too.”
“No, we will be fine I built use a time machine that can take us into the future after the flood are gone and we can repopulate, but every one else in the galaxy will die because there is only enough room for the two of use.”
“What about bill42-k”
“Oh I forgot about him.”
“You have been building this thing for years and you forgot about him”
“he’s quite”
“what are we going to tell him”
“I have an idea”
They leave the control room and walk down a large hall way, where they find Bill42-k standing watch. Bill307 handed him a paper with a design on it.
“What’s this” Bill42-k asked.
“It’s a new project called the Ark and we need you to get started building it right away”
“ok then” Bill42-k hurried off to get started.
“Alright, hurry up and get in” Bill307 called. Bill307 and Bill48-7 got in the time machine activated the rings and left for the future.
“So what did you give him to build” Bill48-7 asked.
“It was just a doodle”
“he is such a dumb ass”
“yeah I know.................wait a second, we have to go back”
“we cant go back you only put one direction on the lever”
“but I just remembered the ring moves and we wont be on the ground in the future we are going to be a few thousand feet above the surface of the other side of the ring”
“That’s not so bad I mean the way this thing is built we will probably survive”
“Well I also just realized that we cant repopulate, because we didn’t bring any females”
“you know if we’re this dumb I don’t think our species deserves to survive, I mean we can build time machines and ring worlds but we over look the single most important detail.”

[Edited on 08.21.2007 6:25 AM PDT]

  • 08.20.2007 7:55 PM PDT

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

Out of the Loop?


Chapter 3 - Shooting Star

Conner and Ted are laying down waiting to fall asleep after their third day on the Island, when Conner Notices something in the sky.
“Hey, I think I see a shooting star” Conner said while pointing up into the sky.
“Great make a wish a shut the hell up” Ted replied.
“Ted, I think its getting bigger”
“I swear to god, if you don’t shut up and let me die in peace I am going to kill you and take a dump on your chest.”
“Holy -blam!- Ted, its coming straight for us”
Ted and Conner stand up and watch as it falls toward them.
“What should we do?” Conner asked.
“I know you wait here and I will go get help” Ted said sarcastically. They stand in silence for a few seconds then Conner says.
“Why aren’t you going”
“You a dumbass Conner”
“Oh you were being sarcastic”
“yeah”
“that was funny, I should have know because if some one was going to get help it would have been me.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I am faster than you.”
“What the hell, since when are you faster than me.”
“I have always been faster than you.”
“You want to race right now”
“I don’t need to remember that time at.....” but then Conner was cut off by Ted.
“Oh -blam!-” The Object in the sky came crashing into the Island with a loud bang. They stood and stared at it for a while and had no Idea what it was.
“Maybe we should see what’s inside of it.” Conner said
“Great idea Conner because that’s always what I do when a UFO falls out of the sky, and maybe after that we could go cut our legs off with dull rocks.”
“It looks ok to me.”
“That’s what you said about that white Elite right before he cut off Joe jack’s head, besides you don’t even know what that is, it could be a bomb or a Covenant ship.” Then a hatch on the end of the object, which looked like a giant box, opened up and a strange looking green creature, with two legs and no arms and four tentacles stepped out.
“THAT’S DISGUSTING” Ted yelled.
“Yeah, lets rocks at it” Conner said.
Then they bent over to pick up some rocks to throw at it, but before they could the creature stepped out and said “wait stop I need your help”.
“That thing talks”? Ted said.
“I am not a thing I am a Forerunner”
“but all the forerunners are dead” Conner said.
“Well if that we’re true I wouldn’t be standing right in front of you would I.” it said
“Well what do you need are help with” Ted asked?
“I need to get off this Island”
“Well join the club”
“Just give me a push so I can restart my Engine.”
“How about you push and we will start the Engine” Ted said.
“Do you know how”.
“No, but we cant push this thing either” Ted said.
“Well Come in I will show you how to start it, and I will push” They all walked inside the ship. Ted stepped in a strange green sludge on the way in.
“What the hell is this”? Ted asked
“Well, it’s a time machine” The Forerunner said.
“No, not you stupid box this -blam!- on my boot.”
“Oh that’s my partner”
“Great, I have forerunner all over my boots, do you think its going to stain.”
“It will be fine just wipe off on the door mat” the forerunner said.
“Is there a restroom on this box thing”? Conner asked.
“Of course down that hall the second door on the left.” The Forerunner said.
Conner went down the hall, and the forerunner then took Ted to the front of the ship and showed him the controls witch consisted of tow buttons and a lever.
“I right when I say now just hit this button” the forerunner told Ted.
“Alright so let me get this straight, your going to go out there and push this huge box thing all by you self and then you push this button and its going to start up, and you can get us out of here” Ted said.
“Yeah, that’s not a problem is it?” the forerunner asked.
“Its seems a little bit simple, and slightly stupid” Ted said.
“Well I thought it would be a good idea to make a user friendly time machine/spaceship.”
“Hey there’s no toilet paper in here” Conner yelled form the back of the ship.
“Toilet paper?” the Forerunner said.
“Is this even a toilet” Conner yelled?
“What dose it look like” Ted yelled back.
“It looks green and kind of runny, I think I’ve been eating to many coconuts” Conner yelled to the front.
“I meant what dose the thing your not sure is a toilet look like, and there were no coconuts on that Island” Ted yelled back.
“Yeah sorry I never told you about the coconuts Ted, and it looks like a silver bucket hole thing.” Conner yelled to the front of the ship.
“That’s the sink, the toilet is above you and to the left.” The forerunner yelled to the back to Conner.
“How the hell am I suppose to -blam!- in that thing?” Conner yelled out.

[Edited on 08.21.2007 6:27 AM PDT]

  • 08.20.2007 7:56 PM PDT
Subject: Out of the Loop?(chapter 4)

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

Out of the Loop?

Chapter 4 - Grunt mess?

Two blue armored Elites stand In front of their phantom.
“Hey Batraya, Do you ever wonder what’s out there?” one of the Elites said to the other.
“No Jack, I know what’s out there, lots and lost of water, its been there for two months not doing anything while we watch it” the other one responded.
“That’s not what I meant .”
“Jack, what the hell is that thing?” Batraya said.
“What thing, Dude?”
“What do you mean what thing? The only thing out there that’s not water or sky.”
“Dude it looks like a giant box, a giant flying box, Maybe we should tell the commander”
“ he will just tell us to shoot at anyway”
“how do you know that?”
“Because that’s all he ever tells us to do, shoot at the humans, shoot at it if we don’t know what it is, and shoot at it if its not covenant.”
“Yeah your right lets just skip to the shooting”
“good idea”
“Wait, what if its dangerous?” They watch the incoming object for a few seconds then Batraya said.
“Lets send the grunts”
“Hey grunts, we have a very important job for you.” 3 grunts come running out of the ship.
“What do you want us to do, we will do any thing you want, just tell us what you want and we’ll do it.” one of the grunts said very quickly and eagerly.
“Slow down I can even understand half of what you say, actually on second thought I don’t care what you have to say so shut up, and listen. I need you to stand here and guard the cliff and don’t move. ” Batraya said to the grunts. Batraya and Jack walk away leaving the grunts standing on the side of the cliff.
“Dude, I really hate those little kiss asses.” Jack said.
“I kind of like them, I mean they’re annoying and all, but we can use them to test how lethal a situation is, and they make good meat shields” Batraya said.
“Yeah, like with that green armored freak back on the human ship, it’s a good thing we sent them in to that guy.” as they were talking the object came flying in right on top of the three grunts, spraying blue blood all over them.
“Bulls eye Dude!” Jack yelled.
“Oh crap I missed it and, I’ve got little bits of grunt in my eyes.” Batraya said while he wiped his eyes and looked around. “Look at this mess, you better clean this up before commander gets back.” Batraya said.
“Its was your idea Dude.” while they were arguing a human jumped out of the ship right into a puddle of grunt.
“Damn it now I just got done scraping the Forerunner off of my boots” the human yelled.


[Edited on 08.21.2007 6:26 AM PDT]

  • 08.20.2007 7:57 PM PDT
Subject: Fanfic: Out of the Loop? (chapter 4)

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

Out of the Loop

Chapter 5

Ted, Conner and the Forerunner sit in the Forerunners ship talking just before it crashes down on top of the grunts.
“So do you have a name?” Ted asks the Forerunner.
“My name is Conner”
“Not, you dumb ass, the green freak”
“yes my name is Bill307"
“Why not just Bill?” Conner asked.
“How would you tell me apart form every other Bill?”
“That’s true I guess” Conner said.
“So how is it that you speak English?” Ted asked.
“I guess its just a coincidence” Bill307 said.
“Look there’s some land ahead” Conner oked
“good we will land there” Bill307 said.
“What the hell land?, why would we land. Lets get off this ring.” Ted said
“we cant I don’t have enough fuel.”
“So were stuck here” Ted said.
“yeah”
“damn”
The ship crashes into the grunts and they get out.
“So why the hell did you crash the ship?” Ted asked
“I didn’t crash I landed” Bill307 replied.
“Hey look some Elites” Conner said.
They two groups stare at each other for awhile, then Conner says. “This is awkward”
“I know I mean we come down here right on top of there grunts and they don’t even do or say anything. They could at least kill us or you.”

Jack and Batraya sit and stare at the humans, then Batraya says, “I think we should shoot them.”
“Good idea, if anything it will break this awkward silence” Jack said.
They open fire on the humans with their carbines. The humans and the creature duck behind their ship.
“Hey -blam!-s, what the hell is you problem” one of the humans shouted at them.
“We don’t have a problem we are trying to kill you.” Jack shouted back

“what the hell dose ever one speak English now?” Ted asked
“ever since we got here nothing has made any since.” Conner said
“no, things quit making since when Hilary Clinton was elected president, now things have just gotten stupid.”

“We didn’t mean to crash on your grunts it was an ascendent” the human shouted.
“We didn’t like them anyways” Jack shouted back.
“Then why are you trying to kill us”
“Because we are at war, where the hell have you been?” Batraya shouted at them.
“We aren’t at war any more dumb -blam!-, the Elites joined us”
“Why the hell would we join the humans, your losing, you killed a lot of use and you suck” Batraya yelled back.
“Because the prophets were -blam!-s?”
“I guess that makes since” Batraya said
then a white elite came riding up on a ghost, then he yelled “what’s going on here”.
“some humans and a freak crashed here sir” Jack said
“I can see that, why aren’t they dead?” the white elite asked.
“They say there on our side commander” Batraya said
“Do you believe them?”
“Well they have a good reason”
“what’s that”
“They say we joined them because the forerunners are -blam!-s”
“well I guess that makes since, but we can still kill them, I mean our communications are down and I don’t need a reason to whip me some human ass.”
“Hey humans we’re going to kill you anyways.” Jack shouted back at them.
“Wait we have proof, we’re on the same side ” the human shouted.
“We don’t care, you ass wiping primitives, we are going to kill you anyway” the Elite commander shouted to them.
“Wait its an order from your leader, that the elites gave to the humans to prove we’re on your side.”
“Dammit” the Elite commander said.

  • 08.24.2007 7:53 AM PDT

We are a generation commanded by fate to defend
humankind ! We must meet the threat with our valor,
our blood, with our very lives, to insure that human
civilization, not elite dominates this galaxy now
and always.
we need soldiers, SOLDERS LIKE YOU!

WE WILL FIGHT AND WE WILL WIN!
Join up here

chapter 6 next weekend.

  • 08.26.2007 3:47 PM PDT