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  • Subject: Creative Writing
Subject: Creative Writing
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Does any one else here write for fun? I write a lot, and most of the time it's for not reason. I just do it because I have an idea that I want to put on paper. This thread is for all of the people here that like to do the same thing. Post a bit of your writing, review another's, etc...

Here's one of mine. I haven't started on the second draft yet, but I'll have tons of time over the summer, so it'll probably be re-written sometime in the next month. Keep in mind that this background writing for a large project that I'm working on (a book). It's a holy book (or rather part of one), so keep that in mind too. By 'it's a holy book' i mean the story below, not the book that I am working on (which is your basic high fantasy/adventure novel).

Anyway, enough with my rambling:

Books of Xeven:

Excerpt from the first Book of Xeven, ‘Creation’, on how the universe, the
earth itself, and the Four came to be:

“…In the beginning there was nothing, all was void of light and black, and none, save the gods, existed. All was in harmony, and the gods lived happily. But they grew bored, so they all joined hands and spoke ‘exist!’, and all that was and shall be until the gods speak the words ‘do not exist’ suddenly filled the black void. The very universe itself was woven from the fabric of nothingness into a beautiful tapestry of stars, planets, and moons.

All was well, for a time.

The gods played with their fabulous creation as a child would play with a new toy: First, they were curious of the new thing’s functions and features, then, being knowledgeable of these features they used them in their play, and finally, as nothing new presented itself and no new ideas came they discarded it.

It seemed that the gods would again join hands and speak the fateful words ‘do not exist’, but one of the gods, Azoroth, the Life Bringer, shaped from clay found at the universe’s central world the first mortal beings. They were fragile, very twisted, and ugly, but they, in some ways, were similar to the gods.

The hands of the gods were stayed, and they grew to love these mortal beings. As time grew on they shaped these beings into figures more resembling themselves. They created beasts that could be hunted and plants that could be eaten. They created all manners of life and gave it to the mortal beings to lord over and control.

All was well, for a time.

Man, at first, was not an intelligent being. Nor was he a strong being. The first men were unintelligent and weak, and as the gods began to create more intelligent and strong creatures, greater numbers of men began to die, for they did not know how to hunt these more intelligent animals, nor did they have the strength to defend themselves against these beasts.

Lyth, one of the Goddesses of Nature, took pity upon the men, and created a second race, the race of Elves. The elven people far surpassed men in their abilities. They were beautiful; the ugliest elven woman was considered a fine maiden to a human man. They were intelligent; they could construct houses, craft weapons, and track beasts the humans didn’t even know existed. And they were strong. The weakest Elf could easily overpower even the strongest human.

And Lyth said onto the elves, ‘Go forth and protect all that lives and dwells in nature. Live in harmony of it and teach men the same. Teach them how to build houses to protect themselves against weather. Teach them how to craft weapons to protect themselves against ravenous beasts. Teach them how to track, that they may taste delicious sweet meat. Gift them with your skills and knowledge that they may first better protect themselves and then prosper under the harmonious balance that they may share with you and nature.’

Thus the elves went forth and follow their goddess’s commands. They taught men how to shelter themselves against the weather. They taught men how to craft weapons to protect themselves against ravenous beasts. And they taught men how to track, so that they could taste delicious sweet meat.

Men and elves prospered, and all was well, for a time.

Men and elves grew too prosperous and the gods grew bored. There was no longer any challenge for either race to face or overcome, their lives were easy. The gods encouraged them to fight each other, but neither race had a wish or reason to fight one another. The gods plotted to anger the races into fighting amongst themselves, but neither race would blame the other for any transgression against them. Both races were tied completely to each other.

The gods were astounded by how much love each race showed for another. It was decided that no god would interfere with the bond between man and elf. They would be free to live in peaceful harmony so long as they continued to offer prayers and sacrifices to the gods.

Shivath, the Destroyer, grew angered. He despised the bonds of brotherhood the elves and men shared. He loathed their love for on another. Thus, ignored the decision made by the other gods decided to meddle with the peaceful harmony the elves and man lived in.

He took all of his hate and loathing and crafted a third race, a vile and evil race; the race of the trolls. The trolls were no match for the elves or men in intelligence or beauty, but their strength, and their love for destruction and death far surpassed that of the two other races.

Shivath said onto the mighty hordes of trolls, ‘Your hour has come, my sons, man and elf have grown too prosperous and their bonds with one another have grown too strong! It is time to tear them down and build anew a world of strength! A world of might! A world where only those with the strength to fight will reign! God now, and destroy them! Build your new world!’

And Shivath turned loose upon the world the evil he had created. The trolls pillaged, destroyed, and ravaged. They were like a plague in their spreading and thoroughness. None were spared, no mercy was given. Neither the elves nor the humans could resist for long and both were very nearly driven to extinction. The trolls reigned over what was once the domain of man and elf.

All was not well, and the Gods, save Shivath, wept for their lost children.

Then the great God, Kyloth, the Soul Forger, came forth. The plight that Shivath had wrought upon the two races angered him, and he was determined to help the elves and men defeat the depraved and evil trolls. So, from the hardest iron he created the dwarves. The dwarves exemplified all the traits the trolls did not have: They were fond of creation, and excelled in the arts of forging and shaping metal and stone. They loved one another; their ties of brotherhood could not be broken. And they were honorable; their word was their bond and no promise would be forgotten.

Kyloth said onto the dwarves ‘Go, my sons and daughters, and destroy the evil that has been brought upon your brothers, the elves and men. Teach them the secret of the forge, make them your allies, and bring them and yourselves to victory! For combined, the strengths of your three races can overcome this great evil!’

Thus, the dwarves went forth, and the elves and men were taught the secret of the forge. This skill was useful in the battles against the trolls, and was a key to victory against them. However it could not provide a significant advantage to stem the tide of blood nor decrease in number the corpses of fallen comrades. The battle to reclaim what was lost were long, bloody, and agonizing, but in the end the three triumphed over the one and the great evil that was unleashed upon the world was conquered.

All was well, for a time…”





[Edited on 6/5/2004 9:41:20 AM]

  • 06.05.2004 9:20 AM PDT
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Personally I dislike wrighting, But that was quite a good read. One of the most intelligent things I've seen on the forums for a long time. Well done

  • 06.05.2004 9:24 AM PDT
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Posted by: Half Lemming
Personally I dislike wrighting, But that was quite a good read. One of the most intelligent things I've seen on the forums for a long time. Well done


Thank you. I haven't seen anyone post compliment someone on the Flood in quite a long time, much less post something without a hint of trolling.

  • 06.05.2004 9:33 AM PDT
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Nice, but I'm not into fantasy stuff.

I do write some sci-fi for fun, I once wrote a Halo fan fiction but not the "The Chief dodged the plasma bolts, threw a grenade, jumped over a canyon..." ad infinitum stuff. In fact, the characters in mine were a UNSC Navy Commodore, a freelance weapons-builder, an exiled Elite, and a nanotech-augmented (and mind controlled) agent for ONI Section 1. Of course, there is a massive rebellion going on as the Covenant have been halted in their tracks at this point using Cortana's salvaged technology.

The story was coming along nicely, but it got off track when school became overwhelming and I had to drop it - I never looked back, but I am interested in continuing it in its own universe, completely seperate from Halo and of course without the Covenant.

So, do you ever write sci-fi? Cuz that's all I write. The best is cyberpunk - read Neuromancer if you want the best example.

  • 06.05.2004 10:11 AM PDT
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Yeah, I'm written Sci-fi. Well, sort of. I've only written sci-fi + magic stories (I believe the correct term for the genre is 'Techno-Magic' or 'Steampunk'). I don't really get into read/writing stories that are just pure technology or sci-fi, although I love sci-fi movies and games...

Give me about fifteen minutes... I'll find one of my techno-magic stories...

[Edited on 6/5/2004 10:49:12 AM]

  • 06.05.2004 10:48 AM PDT
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Damn... This is all I could find... It's really short, so don't get too excited... I was going to develop this into a full short story, but I never got around to it. I'll write on it a bit more, if anyone is interested.

MEMO

TO: POL DRAGONSTAR
FROM: MEMORA INC
SUBJECT: THE NEW IMPLANTS
DATE: M.O.F. 1, 3235

We have successfully completed the first working version of our new Dweowware Cybernetic Implants (DCIs). By combinding the magical advancements made by the Elves and the robotic technologies created by Man, we have made ability modifying cybernetic implants that far surpass the curret purely robotic ones (CIs).

The new DCIs use the same insertion technologies and programs as the old ones, so no new software or hardeware is required. However, to maximize the potential of the Reciever Ports and Ability Chips, the Ceribral Interface (CINT) must be enchanted.

Lock-Down chips may still be inserted in to the CINT after enchanting, but it is recommended that the hardware be Dispelled in order to prevent any interferance from either protection magics or the actual enchantment itself.

You may be informed of other changes to the CI system on a later date.

  • 06.05.2004 10:56 AM PDT
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The creation story one was interesting.

They're very well written.

  • 06.05.2004 11:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: ObbiQuiet
The creation story one was interesting.

They're very well written.


Thank you, but I think it still needs a second draft. There are a few phrases in it that I don't like, and some of the grammar is a bit off... Do you notice anything that really didn't flow with the tone I was trying to set?

I'm going to post a bit more later... Any input on that or the creation story would be most welcome.

[Edited on 6/5/2004 1:36:24 PM]

  • 06.05.2004 1:33 PM PDT
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There were a few things, but it has been a while since I read it.

And I don't have the attention span to read it again. Sorry. :/

  • 06.05.2004 1:35 PM PDT
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Here's a random excerpt from my aforementioned fan-fiction:

June 3rd, 2559. New Istanbul, Eurasian Protectorate, Alpha Centauri IV

"You are certain about this one, Damian? You have never taken a contract from the revolutionaries before." He nodded and smirked "It doesn't look like I have much choice. You know those Apollos I got?" The Russian nodded from the other side of the stained wooden table "The cybernetics from the Japanese fellow?" Damian took a drag on his cig and glanced out the window at the afternoon traffic, the passing busses and the bobbing turbans of the street merchants. "Yea, it turns out they were tainted big-time. ONI all f***ing over them. I got a few installed before I had to ditch the rest, and now since my last shipment of CLAWs didn't reach their destination I don't have the cash to pay off the local Marshal." The Russian, Melnikov if Damian recalled correctly, tugged on his graying beard "That is indeed very deep s***, my friend. You are in need of a ride off-world? Centurion cluster, perhaps?" Damian shifted uncomfortably on the steel bench. Melnikov was suggesting that he spend time in a rebel asteroid cluster in the belt in-system. They'd let you in, but as long as you were laying low, hard labor without pay was the price - probably working as a miner, expanding the colony. The UN was rough, but camping out with rebels would get you blacklisted like nothing else could...

  • 06.05.2004 1:52 PM PDT
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That's cool. I don't understand some of it, but that's probably because it's just a small part of the story and I haven't played any Bungie games except Halo. I have some more stuff... It's not really a story. It's more like background information on one of the countries of my world. I have about five or six more of these to do.

The Helsibahrian Empire:

The Empire of the Helsibahrian peoples is vast land made up of several smaller kingdoms conquered before the end of the first millennia during the Dragon Wars. Its three main parts are Merra, Heraa, and Helsibahr herself.

Geography:

Helsibahr is the western most part of the Helsibahrian Empire. It is a very hilly and region with several large forests and a small amount of arable land. The coast is rocky and has high cliff faces with a few bays here and there. Heldra, one of Helsibahr’s large port cities, lies near a long strip of flat coast.

Fishing is common in Heldra and other Helsibahrian ports and provides a good source of trade to other parts of the Empire. There appears to be extensive mining operations in a part of Helsibahr know as the Battlemound (named so because a large battle fought there during the Dragon Wars) that deals in several precious metals such as adamantine and gold. There has also been some logging around Lika and Helkendrass.

Merra is the smallest part of the Empire. It lies to the northwest, and is very mountainous along the coast. One small forest is under the control of the Empire, although the rest is controlled by the Elves. It seams near Tekina there is limited logging going on and some mining in the mountains—mostly in iron and copper.

Tenitia, once the capitol city of Merra, is home to the Ivory Tower, a temple dedicated to the Goddess of Dreams. Tenitia is the only known place in the empire where the people openly worship a god other than Xeven. It is unknown why Xeven allows this to continue, but it has for the past few centuries since the Dragon wars.

Heraa is the eastern most part of the Empire. It is slightly smaller than Helsibahr. The land is mostly plains, with a few hills and mountains in the most southeast part along the coast. Heraa is often referred to as the ‘bread basket’ of Helsibahr because almost fully half of the food eaten throughout the Empire comes from there.

The People:

True Helsibahrians are much more bloodthirsty and warlike than their conquered counterparts, the Merrans and the Hercs. It was this blood thirst and warlike nature that started the Dragon Wars, which ended up turning into a bloody, savage slaughter due to the Helsibahrians’ unwillingness to stop killing even after they had crushed all significant resistance. An average Helsibahrian has creamy tan skin, straight black hair, and is around five to seven feet tall.

The Helsibahrian tradesmen scorn the use of slave trade, though it is perfectly legal throughout the Empire and even thrives in certain places. Often a tradesman would prefer to use his own hands to get work do than some one else’s. A common expression among the tradesmen is “If you want something done right, get a freeman to do it.” The lower ranking nobles seem to hold the same view, but the upper class lords often have hundreds of slaves. Beatings among slaves are common, and a kind master is rare indeed.

Merrans are relatively free spirited, much more so than the Helsibahrians. Their penchant for finding the good in even the direst situations has helped them preserve their culture and values even under the oppressive rule of the Empire. They are paler than the Helsibahrians. Their hair is a mud brown color and they stand about four to five and a half feet tall.

The general attitude of the Merran populace towards their oppressors is that of respectful resentment. Before it was conquered by the Helsibahrians, Merra was a veritable hub of culture and trade throughout the entire continent. Her temples flourished, her riches abounded, her and power was great. The conquers put a end to the whole of that by destroying all the land’s temples, cutting of trade with the elves, and wiping out the entire ruling class. The only symbol of Merra’s former power is the Ivory Tower of Dreams in Tenitia. It is the last remaining temple of Cthonia. No one knows why Xeven did not order it destroyed.

Hercs are a practical, liberal people. They resent that Helsibahr took their freedom, and they would take it back at all costs. The normal Hercen has skin like that of a Helsibahrian, course black hair, and stands about five to six feet tall.

The outlook of the Hercs is much different than that of the Merrans. They do not attempt to find the good in Helsibahrian rule, and they bear their contempt for the Empire right out in the open. There is no false pretense of respect. Every temple and government building in Heraa was destroyed in the Dragon Wars, and many of the Hercs were taken as slaves. Their hate is understandable, and it is clear why it runs deeper than that of the Merrans.



The History:

The exact beginnings of Helsibahr and the Empire are somewhat unclear, as the first Helsibahrians were largely nomadic and kept very few (if any) written records. However, it is believed that before Xeven’s creation they were an atheistic culture. Several of their ancient artifacts seem to confirm this, but nobody (save for the Gods themselves) truly knows.

Upon Xeven’s creation the Helsibahrians were given to him as a gift from the other gods. From that point, Xeven established the Order of the Dragon Knights and the Order of Xeven. Their first task was to subjugate and the peoples of the Helsibahrian territory and force them under the rule of Xeven. Their means were brutal and outraged the other surrounding nations. The first to rise against the Helsibahrians were the Elves and their ancient allies, the Dragons. Next were Merra and Heraa, and finally the Dwarves. The war raged for several years, but it eventually ended in the conquest of Merra and Heraa, the retreat of the Elves and Dwarves, and just about complete destruction and enslavement of the Dragons.

Near to the end of the Dragon Wars, Xeven selected and Emperor to rule over Helsibahr in his place. This man was but a humble farmer, but his devotion was so great that Xeven decided to place the mantel of power upon this mans shoulders. The man’s name was Xeta, and he still holds power over the Empire. He is a strong, muscled man that looks like he is in his mid fifties, although he is much, much older than that. It is believed that his lifespan has been increased by an infusion of divine power, but not much is know about the affairs of the High One.

About three hundred years after the start of Xeta’s reign there arose two rebel factions within the Empire. One was based in the Merran part of the Empire, while the other was based in the Hercen part. The Merrans were but a small annoyance, although the Hercs were able to kill several of the higher lords and steal several of Xeven’s most prized possessions. Their actions have caused Xeven and Xeta to lash out against them and their rule has become all the more tyrannical. However, this has done more to strengthen both factions’ resolve than it has to demoralize their efforts. They are both in existence in the present time.

Coinage:

GOLD
1. Gold Deity: 7 oz. coin, often called a ‘plate’ because of its large size. The face of Xeven is stamped on the front, and his symbol is stamped on the back. It is worth approximately $700.
2. Gold Imperial: 3 oz. coin. The face of Xeta is stamped on the front, and his symbol on the back. It is worth approximately $300
3. Gold Crown: 2 oz. coin. The faces of Xeven and Xeta are stamped on this coin. It is worth approximately $200.
4. Gold Half Crown: 1 oz. coin. The symbols of Xeven and Xeta are stamped on this coin. It is worth approximately $100.
5. Gold Quarter Crown: ½ oz. coin. It has the symbol of the Order of Xeven stamped on the front, and the word ‘obedience’ is stamped on the back. It is worth approximately $50.
6. Gold Penny: ¼ oz. coin. The symbol of the Dragon Knights is stamped on the front, and the word ‘submission’ is stamped on the back. It is worth approximately $25.

SILVER
All silver coins have the same weight and markings as their gold counterparts. Silver is worth 1/10 the value of gold.
1. Silver Deity: About $70
2. Silver Imperial: About $30
3. Silver Crown: About $20
4. Silver Half Crown: About $10
5. Silver Quarter Crown: About $5
6. Silver Penny: About $2.50

OTHER
1. Grand Deity: A rare platinum coin with the same weight and markings of a Gold Deity. It is worth about $2000.
2. Grand Imperial: A rare platinum coin with the same markings of a Gold Imperial. It is worth about $1000.
3. Brass Penny: A 1 oz. brass coin with no markings. It and the Silver Penny are used by the poor as standard coins of business. It’s worth about $1
4. Copper Penny: A ½ oz. copper coin with no markings. 100 copper pennies make one brass penny.

Damn. It's too long. I'll have to split into separate posts.

[Edited on 6/5/2004 2:35:12 PM]

  • 06.05.2004 2:26 PM PDT
Subject: The Helsibahrian Empire (Continued)
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Costume:

MEN
The upper classmen prefer furs and silks. Long robes with house symbols embroidered on the chests are the standard of dress. Usually more elaborate embroidery means more wealth. Some of the more devoted and warlike lords wear elaborate armor and capes instead.

The soldiers wear a sort of roman like armor with several segmented plates, a large shield and a gladius-type sword.

Dragon Knights were intricate black enameled armor and usually carry great swords or bastard swords. The armor is designed to frighten and intimidate.
Slaves, serfs, and lower classes wear long tunics and leggings.

WOMEN
The standard for women in the upper classes is flowing dresses with large, lengthy trains. They are extensively embroidered, and more elaborate embroidery usually means a richer lord.

Lower class women wear plain, roman style dresses with skirts that end a bit past the knees.

WEAPONRY
Melee: short swords (gladius), long swords, great swords, bastard swords, javelins, spears.
Ranged: crossbows, short bows.
Siege: Catapults, ballista, mobile towers, etc.

Rank/Class:

God: This title is, and always will be, Xeven’s. He is a manifested, living god of the Helsibahrian people and intends to keep it that way. He commands everyone in the Helsibahrian hierarchy. Addressed as ‘God’, ‘Divine One’, ‘Father’, or ‘Lord-on-High’ (ex: ‘Praise to you, Divine One.’)

Emperor: The emperor is second only to the God in his power and scope of control. There isn’t much the God can do that the Emperor can’t. Xeta is currently the Emperor of the Helsibahrian Empire. Addressed as ‘High One’, ‘Right Hand of Xeven’ or ‘Majesty’ (ex: ‘O glory to the Right Hand of Xeven.’)

High Mage: The High Mage is the only lord not subject to the will of the emperor. He does not hold power over anyone but the clergy and the Dragon Knights. If an order of the Emperor’s conflicts with that of the High Mage, the clergy is obliged to follows the Mage’s orders unless Xeven says otherwise. The Dragon Knights are likewise expected to follow the Mage’s orders. Addressed as ‘First Mage’ or ‘Left Hand of Xeven’ (ex: ‘First Mage Wervan.’)

The Clergy of Xeven: Although there are different ranks within the Clergy, their ranks outside their temples are rather irrelevant. They have limited power over the Dragon Knights and the common people. Addressed as ‘Priest’ or ‘Brother’ (ex: ‘Brother John.’)

The Dragon Knights: The Knights are a step above the common folk in terms of power. They may not take as they choose, or give orders to whom they like (Even Xeven realizes that unadulterated -blam!- and stealing from his Knights would cause chaos among the commons.). In short: they are not above the law in any way. They can, however, punish criminal offenders, and their methods for extracting confessions from their victims are a bit cruel and sadistic (to say the least). Addressed as ‘Sir’ (ex: ‘Sir Bob.’)

Nobles and Lords: There are very few nobles and lords in the Empire. The two most notable are the ‘lesser emperors’ of Merra and Heraa. These men have power comparable to the Clergy. Addressed as ‘Sir’ or ‘Lord’ (ex: ‘Lord Steve’)

The Commons: This group is made of tradesmen (smiths, fishermen, and the like.). They hold no power and are subject to the will of every other class except the slaves. Addressed by name.

The Slaves: The slaves are the lowest class in the Helsibahrian hierarchy. They have even less control over their own lives than the commons do. In point of fact, they have no control over their lives. They are usually addressed by the word ‘slave’. (ex: ‘Get me a cup of ale, slave.’)

Major Holidays:

Summer
-- The Birth of Xeven -- Religious ceremony and gladiatorial fights are the most common methods of celebration on this day. It is usually only observed by the Helsibahrians.
-- The Birth of Xeta -- Gladiatorial fights and tributes to the Emperor are the means of celebration. It is usually only observed by the Helsibahrians.
Fall
-- Creation of the World -- Religious ceremony to all of the gods. This is the only time that Xeven allows observances of the other gods (with the exception of Cthonia, who may be worshiped year round). No fights are allowed on this day.
Winter
-- Arising of the False Gods -- Much religious ceremony on this day. It is a day of mourning for the Helsibahrians. No fights are allowed on this day. It is usually only observed by Helsibahrians.
Spring
-- End of the Dragon Wars -- The Helsibahrians celebrate this day with ceremonies and gladiatorial fights, the Merrans and Hercs usually mourn it by wearing crude, expressionless masks. Sacrifices of livestock are a common occurrence during this holiday.


[Edited on 6/5/2004 2:32:30 PM]

  • 06.05.2004 2:30 PM PDT
Subject: Continued
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You know what, that is brilliant. It's the same kind of atmosphere as LotR had, but with a much more complex society... well, I can't say that because I've only seen the movies. So even though I'm not into fantasy, many kudos to you for raising the average IQ of the Bungie.net forums.

An explanation of the scene I wrote earlier. Pay attention and you'll see that it really is based completely in the Halo universe:

The date is 2559, and the Covenant onslaught has been halted by the new tech Cortana salvaged. The character, Damian, is a fence (trader of illegal goods) for organized crime and freelancers alike. Recently, he bought some cybernetic implants and installed a few, but the Office of Naval Intelligence was onto him and now he needs a way to evade them or pay off the local Marshal. The Russian, Melnikov, recommends and tries to sell a ticket to a rebel asteroid colony where Damian can hide from the UNSC but must lose most of his possessions and work without pay for the rebel authority. This part is from very early in the story, before Damian joins the rebels, fights the Covies, or meets the ONI-controlled killing machine, Sakura Fujikawa (last name is _very_ significant if you've read the Halo books). I guess I could've selected a better part, but I was trying to bring more depth to the Halo universe by showing the daily life of the people, bringing more factions into the light other than the "good vs. evil" of the Marines vs. the Covenant.

  • 06.05.2004 2:54 PM PDT
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I've found that, unless I really want to read it, if I have to work my scroll-wheel, I don't read it. Go lazy me!

  • 06.05.2004 3:24 PM PDT