Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Fanfic! Read it and laugh at me!
  • Subject: Fanfic! Read it and laugh at me!
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2
Subject: Fanfic! Read it and laugh at me!

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Well, I'm really bored, so read my futile/laughable attempt at fanfic. Some of the names suck, I know. I'm bored and tired.

Location: Unnamed Canyon, Desert of the Gods, Delta Halo

Johnson stepped over the mutilated corpse of a dead Brute. He stared at his empty Battle Rifle, dropped it, and hefted the large Brute Shot laying on the floor.
"Arbiter," he called. "We're still alive, but not by a lot. We got about 130 Grunts, 50 Elites, and 17 Hunters left."
The Arbiter sighed. "Still no sign of reinforcements?"
"Nope, and we shouldn't expect any. Bet hey, were gonna be fine."The Arbiter, Johnson and their troops had been marooned on Delta Halo for nearly a month now, and the Prophets seemed set on their anniahlation. They had managed to find a cliff face that would cover them for the most part. It was dry, hot and dusty, but that didn't phase the Arbiters troops. Wave after wave of Brutes, Jackals, and Drones had been sent at them, but the Arbiters' battle hardened troops had pulled through. Now, however, he had a perilously small group of his Covenant brethren left, and most of them were wounded. They had killed thousands of enemies and still no aid had arrived, despite the daily messages they sent to the last Elite-held Supercarrier, which was holding orbit around the planet Haven in the same Solar System as Delta Halo.
"Enemies!" the Arbiter heard a Grunt cry out.
"Prepare for battle!" The Arbitor shouted.
He grabbed two unassembled Plasma Cannons and handed each to the two Grunts at his side.
"Their attackin' in standard formation. Vultures up front, Apes in back, and the bugs givin' them air support." Johnson reported.
A Brute Shot grenade rocketed by, impacting an unmanned Stationary Turret behind them.
Johnson raised the Brute Shot he was weilding, aimed, and fired. Two Jackals fell dead to the ground.
"Unggoy, assemble behind the barricade!" The Arbiter shouted. The Grunts obeyed immediatly, assembling with their methane tanks to the barricade, their faces looking at the Arbiter. Behind him his Sangheili were fighting off the Brutes that the trio of Phantom had dropped off.
They had created the fortification out of downed Wraiths, Phantoms, and Shadows. They would hold, but not against anything as powerful as a sustained bombardment from Phantoms or Wraiths. They had a canyon surrounding them on three sides, their wall covering the fourth.
The Arbiter began to speak.
"My loyal Unggoy, we must destroy the heretics! On my signal, throw all of your Plasma grenades at the largest pack of heretics you can find."
"Yessir!" The Grunts replied enthusiastically as they each grabbed a Plasma grenade out of the barrel that was being passed down the line.
"Now!" The Arbiter shouted. Hundreds of Plasma grenades flew through the air, lighting up the dark canyon. They instantly adheared to anything they stuck to- armor or skin alike. Brutes and Jackals cried out in pain as the plasma boiled away their armor and melted their flesh.
"Fire at will!" The Arbiter bellowed...

Well, although it probably sucked, I might follow it up with something. Feel free to do some constructive critism.


[Edited on 12/12/2004 7:05:30 PM]

  • 12.11.2004 7:39 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

thats not bad, except youre not very specific about the environment. are they in some sort of structure? is teh landscape hilly or flat? are there any bodies of water around? details about where this is all happening are key to making an enjoyable story. otherwise, i think it all is creative and well written, good job!

  • 12.11.2004 7:44 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Thanks. Glad the first post wasnt some mindless flame about how badly I write... I thought it was ok.

  • 12.11.2004 7:45 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

oh of course, i actually wanted to read on and see what happens, this seems very well thought out.

  • 12.11.2004 7:46 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!











...What? Someone was supposed to laugh at him!

Actually, it's not bad. Forums aren't exactly the best media to post stories on, as you can see.

[Edited on 12/11/2004 7:48:39 PM]

  • 12.11.2004 7:48 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

I have a pretty good storyline. Or so I think. If this goes anywhere then I might get to the good part. I dont wanna do a weekly thing though. Ill type it up whenver I feel like it. This shouldnt become a chore.

Thank you Casey. It had to be done, and I must say thatr I am honored that it was you who graced me withnyour laughter.

[Edited on 12/11/2004 7:50:01 PM]

  • 12.11.2004 7:49 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Anytime, Pink. Anytime.

But, if you really wanna make it something, I'd suggest putting it onto fanfiction.net and then linking it to us. That way, the forum format won't slaughter your paper.

  • 12.11.2004 7:53 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Eh, Ill write it here.

Less compettion. MC's Brother is banned, so that makes NO compettion. Unless Excommunicado's Poetry thread counts.

  • 12.11.2004 7:56 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Yeah, but poetry isn't really a fanfic.

Good thinkin'.

  • 12.11.2004 8:06 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

i liked it. really. write some more.

  • 12.11.2004 8:08 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

I will

  • 12.11.2004 8:10 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

dude... Im sorry but you definately like men...

  • 12.11.2004 8:19 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Its good, and I appreciate it more if i hadn't broken up with my g/f today. The break up didn't phase me, its the fact she broke up with me for the little perv of the school. He spends his time drinking, smoking, chewig tobacco, and making out with s. Guess who's mad. DAVE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 12.11.2004 9:12 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Could've been better. Okay for fan stuff, of course, but there are a few ways it could have been better. The first being paragraphs.

  • 12.11.2004 9:19 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Highly enjoyable. Only real problem i had was that you werent very clear on the setting, and then when u called the enemy "heretics" i got a bit confused.But otherwise very nice.

  • 12.11.2004 9:29 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Awesome.

  • 12.11.2004 11:11 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

I idint use paragraphs because... I didnt want to. And the "Heretics" is because the Elites see it that the Prophets, Brutes Jackals and Drones have betrayed the covenant. Therefore they are heretics.

  • 12.12.2004 7:16 AM PDT
Subject: Fanfic! Read it and enjoy!!
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

GOSH! I hate you. This is really good. Your blasted ending...if there was any. I wanted to read on. But this is a good story and there is a good place to put fan fiction.

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/

  • 12.12.2004 7:28 AM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Shall I add more?

  • 12.12.2004 1:17 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

EDIT: Thats really gross Twitch.

[Edited on 12/12/2004 1:40:35 PM]

  • 12.12.2004 1:22 PM PDT

  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2