- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Kinda creepy, but hilarious in a way.
One day, after cleaning up my house,my natural instincts called me into what I call "The Poop Stoop." There I sat, on my shining porcelain throne, feeling like a king in a castle with his pantaloons around his ankles flipping through an old car magazine. Finally, I felt that my trip to the throne was over. So I reached for that ever so sacred, cottony soft bathroom tissue which was gracefully hanging from a gleaming brass tissue holder.
Except...
This -blam!- humongous spider was right there, perched on my bathroom tissue, looking me in the eye trying to protect what was rightfully mine. It was a daddy long legs and it certainly could not take a rolled car magazine to his tiny little head. I unrolled the sacred tissue only to find his buddies, about 10 of them, much bigger than the first spider,I had chills, but I was not about to wipe my tender bottom with poisonous spiders. I did what I had to do. In the end, my tender bottom was unharmed, and the feeling of relief that resonated from the sacred tissue was the best feeling in the world for me. Especially after an epic bathroom spider battle.