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  • Subject: 1001 ways to kill a grunt
Subject: 1001 ways to kill a grunt
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"Veni Vidi Castratavi Illegitimos"
"I came, I saw, I castrated the bastards."

208. Create a suppository grenade and use it on him.
Weapons of Ass Destruction.

  • 12.29.2004 9:59 AM PDT
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209. take him to ancient China and train him to be a ninja, then have him fight with 5 ultra super powerful ninjas. chances are he will die.

210. take him to ancient China and train him to be a ninja, then have him fight with 5 ultra super powerful ninjas. after he kills the five ultra super powerful ninjas, shoot him in the face with a shotgun.

211. Wrap him up and give him to Sgt. Johnson as a birthday present. Also give Sarge a rocket launcher.

212. make him come up with 1001 ways to kill a grunt, then choose your favorite and do it to him.

213. make him do my algebra homework. he will die of boredom.

214. put him in an episode of Hamtaro. the father of the girl who owns hamtaro will see the grunt and die of a heart attack caused by shock. then his daughter, very pissed off at the grunt, will take out her army of hamsters (hamtaro is their leader) and stuff them inside of the grunts mouth. then the grunt will take out his plasma pistol, fully charge it, and leave a burning hole in the girls head. shortly after, however, the hamsters will complete their mission and gnaw a hole through the grunt`s spinal cord, paralyzing him. then they will call George W. Bush and he will step on the grunt`s feet, and go away. then shoot the grunt in the head with a pistol. (over exxageration of a simple way to kill a grunt is fun after all! =D)

215. feed him chinese food with large amounts of MSG, and make sure he doesn`t get medical attention.

216. make him play an hour of the game 'Awesome Possum'. the unnesseccary amount of crappy one liners and educational value will kill him.

217. make him try to fix the crashed computer on Zanzibar. we all know that it is impossible, and so he will die of age after long enough of trying.

218. give him a grenade and give him the pin in two to three weeks.

  • 12.29.2004 10:20 AM PDT
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some ways can be...

219, yelling at him until he cries and shoots himself.

220, punching him in the face. then when he wakes up from being unconcious, put on a big hairy gorilla costume and scare him to death.

[Edited on 12/29/2004 10:26:43 AM]

  • 12.29.2004 10:26 AM PDT
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#221: Give him a box with a face-hugger in it
#222: Let him loose in a complex full of adult-aliens
#223: Starve him so he eats his own feet and then dies of blood loss abd food poisoning
#224: The torture scene from Resivior Dogs!
#225: Set him on fire, then put him out. He will be so horifically burned that he'll try to get you to kill him to end the pain
#226: put him in a frezzer and lock the door
#227: salt him? (Are grunts like slugs?)
#228: pour water on him, put him in a bucket of water, and make him fix a faulty outlet



[Edited on 12/29/2004 10:43:36 AM]

  • 12.29.2004 10:43 AM PDT
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#229: Make him eat a lot of spider eggs
#230: give him a buch of cholesteral-laden foods to induce a heart attack
#231: tickle him. TO DEATH
#232: trow him in a pit of spikes
#234: inject him with poison
#235: pretend that he's gulity of murder and send him to your homeade electric chair
#236: drop some lead or a piano or a brick or a weight room or something on him
#237: expose him to radiation to give him cancer

  • 12.29.2004 10:50 AM PDT
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238) plant a bunch of drugs on him then bring in the dogs
239) use it to test for gas in a mine
240) let it figure out how to dissarm a nuke by itself

[Edited on 12/29/2004 11:08:27 AM]

  • 12.29.2004 11:02 AM PDT
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241) Shoot him
242) Use Iraq's WMD's (oh wait...)
243) Throw him in jail and wait for him to starve to death.
244) Put him on "Covenant Survivor" with a Hunter, Elite, Bugger, Jackal, Engineer, Brute and Prophet.

  • 12.29.2004 3:32 PM PDT
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245) Let him pilot a Banshee
246) Put that reverse bear trap thing from "Saw" on his head and laugh at his futile attempts to disarm it before it goes off.
247) Hang him w/ razor wire. (ouch)
248) Make him listen to a looping tape of William Hung's CD an wait till his head pops.

  • 12.29.2004 3:38 PM PDT
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249) Let it die of old age

  • 12.29.2004 11:11 PM PDT
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TAKOFF HIS MASK AND FART IN HIS FACE UNTIL HE KICKS THE CAN

  • 12.30.2004 1:11 AM PDT

Posted by: ferret
Posted by: halodev1
Ha ha stanman has been foiled by the great ferret. Soon he shall start a ferret army and take down the legions of the dark forces. ferret will be the leader and he will use his 1337 ferret skillz to end the fight once and for all.

or he just went home to sit on his ass watching conan and eating cheesy poofs.

flood control
got my AK!!

251) train him to be a ninja and tell him to block a shotgun bullet

  • 12.31.2004 1:29 AM PDT

'Home is behind, The world ahead, And there are many paths to tread, Through shadow, to the edge of night, Until the stars are all alight, Mist and shadow, Cloud and shade, All shall fade, All shall...Fade'
Reiginko

252) push him off a very high cliffe into a road and let him get hit by 2 semi's then have a storm wash him into a storm drain ane then let the rats pick at his flesh (this is actually the way i wanna die but oh well)

  • 12.31.2004 1:34 AM PDT
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254) Get him drunk, then teach it to swear. Next, find an Elite.....

  • 12.31.2004 5:55 AM PDT
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255) Make him play Halo with you.

[Edited on 12/31/2004 5:56:20 AM]

  • 12.31.2004 5:55 AM PDT
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256) send him to Jason Jones(ruthless!).
257) open-hand slap him repeatedly until he feels sad and dejected, then hug him, while sticking a pin in his methane tank in the process.
258) convince him that he is a Brute, and then tell him that that hunter over there spit on his buddys grave(this would be hilarious).

  • 12.31.2004 8:29 AM PDT
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258) convince him his backpack is a parachute, then take him skydiving.

  • 12.31.2004 9:12 AM PDT
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259) Torture the lil guy, with a blow tourch!!
260)Rip his torso's off!!!
261)Use a scarab gun and blow him.
262)Put a one bomb in his mouth, one up him ass, one in his ear and one up his nose, and press the detenote botton and *************BOOOOOMMM*************

  • 01.03.2005 7:00 PM PDT
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2630 give it leprosy and watch it eat away at its grunty flesh
264) give it lots of seisures
265) teach it quantum phisics
266) one word, trebuche

  • 01.03.2005 7:23 PM PDT

268) beat in a prophets skull and blame the grunt

  • 01.03.2005 8:05 PM PDT
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269) make him into a grunt pot pie, and sell it on E-bay

270) make him watch the Ring, he then have 7 days and all

271) make him listen to country music, hey it work in Mars Attack

272) and 273) make him fight another grunt to death, then kill the winner

[Edited on 1/4/2005 1:48:01 PM]

  • 01.04.2005 1:47 PM PDT
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274. Make him vote for the Green Party.

  • 01.04.2005 2:16 PM PDT
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find one flood lead it to the grunt and the battel starts

  • 01.04.2005 2:17 PM PDT