- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Ooookay. I'm glad some people liked it. Here it is, continued.
*jumps over pipes into the main corridor*
Marine: Aaah! We're all gonna die!
MC: Not this time, Marine. You've got a Spartan on your side.
*three plasma bolts hit MC in the head, draining his overshield and some health*
MC: Ow.
Marine: Sir! Follow me! I know where a health pack is.
*takes MC to health pack*
Marine: Okay, now just walk right into it. Your suit will automatically heal your wounds.
MC: Okay, let me see.
*flash*
MC: HOLY CRAP I'M BLIND! AAAH! EVERYTHING WENT WHITE!
*walks into wall*
Marine: *sigh* We lose more Spartans that way.
MC: Why can't I see?
Marine: Some stupid side effect from the health pack. Now come on! You have to get to Keyes. ...You can hold my hand if you like.
MC: Good. Because I can't see!
Marine: Would you stop saying that?
MC: Sorry. Let's go.
*MC thrusts out his hand, accidentaly punching the Marine hard in the face*
MC: Marine? Marine, where are you? Oh, you are SO mean!
*other Marine walks in*
MC: Good, my vision's been restored!
Marine: *looks at dead body, then at MC's bloody hand* Um...I don't want to know. Keyes is right through here, Sir.
*Marine takes MC to Keyes*
MC: Captain Keyes.
Keyes: Good to see you, Master Chief. Um...as you can see, bad stuff is happening.
Cortana: He's the Chief, not a 5 year old, dumbass.
MC: Ah. Cortana as well.
Cortana: Sleep well?
MC: No.
Cortana: Good. We have to go now.
MC: What? Why?
Keyes: Well, basically, we're screwed, and if you can land on that artifact, we might not be screwed. The Pillar of Autumn is screwed, and I'm going down with it. A good Captain always goes down with his ship.
Cortana: *mutter* ...never said anything about being smart...
Keyes: I heard that. Now get out of here. Chief, take Cortana with you.
*takes Cortana out of the pedestal, putting her in his head*
Cortana: Now, let me just...
MC: Let's go...hey! Stupid pilot! I saw that!
*walks over to pilot and smashes his head on the terminal several times until it is a bloody mess*
Cortana: CHIEF! WHAT THE -blam!- ARE YOU DOING?
MC: ...he stuck his tongue out at me...
Cortana: Didn't we have the discussion before?
MC: Yes...I'm sorry.
Cortana: Good. Now let's go.
Keyes: Before you go, here Chief:
*hands MC a pistol*
Keyes: I don't keep it loaded, son. You'll have to find ammo as you go.
MC: You mean you DON'T have ammo for this?
Keyes: Umm...yes. But you can still whack people with it.
MC: Always two steps ahead, Keyes.
Cortana: It's gonna be a loooong game.
Okay, this one wasn't funny at all. It'll get better! I hope...
[Edited on 12/24/2004 5:36:06 AM]