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Ahhh, xbox live.
Platitudes aside, most everyone posting in this thread seems to prefer polite interaction while playing online. I for one severely dislike trash talkers and their ilk, though I'm not above giving it back to them when I'm in the right mood. Usually if they start on me, I'll say some offhanded comment about them and leave it it that. Though if you're messing with someone else, especially if I think it unwarranted (as in messing with someone who has not said a word to you) I'll be as scathing and mean as I can be. I'll never, ever start a problem with anyone. I rarely even talk online, so all I usually say is "warthog center" denoting that the enemy is coming, or "good game". Though I have similar experiences as to what Achilles is lamenting.
I like it when people behave civilly with one another. It gives me reason to think that there still may be a chance for this civilization. However I know that eventually, no matter who you are, you're going to encounter someone who makes you want to explode. I commend those who don't act on that impulse, but being humans, eventually all of us will act on it to some degree. In that, it would be great if we all "just got along" but I at least know that's never going to happen.
Seventh Column "members" are not obligated to be nice to each other. As with any and all large communities, there are jerks, nice people, apathetic people, and all nuances in between. Though it would be nice if we could hold some to a higher standard, we simply can't. Pragmatism won't allow it.
The primary problem online is that people are free from physical responsibility. Where some of these people to act the way the act in real life, where physical consequences might be a direct result for their actions, I think most of them would act very differently. Most of the people whom you are playing online with are probably usually at least civil with others in real life. Though when online, they don't have to worry about you or anyone else bothering them, because they can just move on to the next game and/or block you. I'm sure some of them are equally as unpleasant in real life, but certainly not the majority of them. I think it says something about human nature, and I thinks its a terrible connotation as to what we're all about, but that's another topic.
I guess what I'm getting at is people are people. They are one way one minute, and another way another minute. We're temporal creatures, and expecting them to behave civilly all the time is nothing more than a pipe dream. Hell, as a moderator on bungie.net, I deal with jerks and uncivil people all the time. Trust me, people who use this site are no better than anyone else, anywhere. And they're not leaving anytime soon. Discussing how people "should" act is nice and all, but its nothing more than a platitude, as are all Utopian ideologies. Make no mistake, thinking that 7th column members should behave civilly with one another for no reason other than they're 7th column members is a Utopian dream, through and through.
Though I guess there is no problems with lamenting that fact, so lement away I suppose. As to whether or not this community can be called up to a higher standard, time will tell (though I doubt anything will change).