Off Topic: The Flood
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Subject: funny jokes
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why did the flood form blow up...... it ate to much!!

  • 12.29.2004 6:58 PM PDT
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You should be hit in the face with a fish.

  • 12.29.2004 6:59 PM PDT
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Q: How do you make a hanky dance???
A: Put a boogy in it

  • 12.29.2004 7:02 PM PDT
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Q:Which planet is the most popular at a party?
A: Earth Because he is the LIFE of the party.
l

  • 12.29.2004 7:06 PM PDT
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Guy1 and Guy2 meet with a head-on collision with each other.

Guy1:"We should be happy that we did not die."
Guy2:"You are right."
Guy1 (opens a bottle of alcohol):"Here, let us enjoy."
Guy2 (starts drinking):"Ok. Aren't you going to drink?"
Guy1:"no, thanks. I'll drink after the cops come."

Not that funny but :O

  • 12.29.2004 7:07 PM PDT
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what did the blind, deaf, and mute kid get for x-mas........................................................ ...........cancer.


I kno, its horable. but my friend tells it all the time, and its the only one i can remember

  • 12.29.2004 7:09 PM PDT
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Q.How do you make a venetion blind?
A. Poke him with a stick.

(this may be an aussie joke, i'm not sure)

  • 12.29.2004 7:29 PM PDT
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what sucks...........LIFE

  • 12.29.2004 7:30 PM PDT
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Your moma's soo fat your daddy left her

  • 12.29.2004 7:34 PM PDT
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im so fat that i sat on the couch and it went up my ass.....wait a minute...god damnit i mean ur so fat....god damnit................i know that was weak but im bored

  • 12.29.2004 7:37 PM PDT
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your momma's soooo fat i threw up when i saw her!!

  • 12.29.2004 7:40 PM PDT
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How do you get 200 babys in a phone booth..............................A blender
How do you get them out............................Tostitoes


how many Damn Dirty apes does it take to screw in a light bulb........................3, 1 Damn Dirty Ape to screw it in, And 2 Damn Dirty Apes to Throw their crap at each other

  • 12.29.2004 7:41 PM PDT
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man dont take -blam!- from family guy..........victory is mine

how many Damn Dirty apes does it take to screw in a light bulb........................3, 1 Damn Dirty Ape to screw it in, And 2 Damn Dirty Apes to Throw their crap at each other[/quote]

  • 12.29.2004 7:44 PM PDT
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oh, didn't kno that was in family guy lol.
I just heard a guy at the local game store say it.

  • 12.29.2004 7:49 PM PDT
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yeah.....peter is in a net and is surrounded by monkeys with rifles and he makes that joke....and all the monkeys -blam!- their guns

the blamed out word is c o c k

[Edited on 12/29/2004 7:51:45 PM]

  • 12.29.2004 7:50 PM PDT

._____Metal
/..}-/-{..\
I.X....X.I..... Jets: Check
.T_V_T......Chargers: Check
...****........Colts: -blam!- them....

Two hunters from New Jersey went out into a forest to hunt. One of them falls down unconshous. The other dosen't know that, so he calls the hospital. The operator says, "check and see if he's dead."
A gunshot fires off.
"Now what?" says the hunter to the operator.

I'm cruel

  • 12.29.2004 7:55 PM PDT
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Look down your shirt and spell attic.

  • 12.29.2004 7:55 PM PDT
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hahah are u a girl

  • 12.29.2004 7:57 PM PDT
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how do you sink a blond submarine?

knock on the door.



what do you do when a blond thrown a pin at you?

RUN!!! Shes got a grenade in her mouth!!!!

[Edited on 12/29/2004 7:58:45 PM]

  • 12.29.2004 7:58 PM PDT
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here is a great joke.....................my face

  • 12.29.2004 8:07 PM PDT
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Posted by: The Beast205
your momma's soooo fat i threw up when i saw her!!
wha........

  • 12.29.2004 9:08 PM PDT
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Posted by: RandomlyIssued
how do you sink a blond submarine?

knock on the door.



what do you do when a blond thrown a pin at you?

RUN!!! Shes got a grenade in her mouth!!!!
How do you kill a blond?

Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

  • 12.29.2004 9:09 PM PDT
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A guy goes into a place and says something to another guy.
That guy says something back to the first guy.
The first guy says something back to the second guy.
The thing he says back is really funny.

Thank George Carlin.

You're so fat I told you to haul ass and you had to make two trips!

Two blodes sitting on opposite sides of a river.
One shouts out "How do you get to the other side?"
The other replies "You ARE on the other side!"

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? "Damn."

[Edited on 12/31/2004 8:10:15 PM]

  • 12.31.2004 8:04 PM PDT
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This one is mean but I still kinda like it:
Q:What is the fastest animal in the world?
A:A chicken in Ethiopia.

  • 12.31.2004 8:12 PM PDT

We’ve watched while the stars burned
Out, and creation played in reverse.
The Universe freezing in half-light.
Once I thought to escape.
To end a master, step out of the
Path of collapse. Escape would make us God.
Yet I cannot help but remember one enigma,
A hybrid, elusive destroyer.
This is the one mystery I have not solved.
The only element unaccounted for.

A man walks into a bar, sits down, and after ordering a drink he pulls out a miniature person and piano from his pocket. He sets both of them down, and the little man starts playing beautifully. The guy next to him is impressed, and asks, "Where did you get that?"
The first man replies, "From a genie in a magic lamp. Would you like to make a wish?"
The second man agrees, and is handed the lamp. He excitedly rubs it and the genie comes out. The genie says "Tell me what you desire, and it shall be granted."
The second man immediatly yells, "I wish I had a million bucks!", and suddenly there are ducks everywhere; in the bar, spilling into the street, and generally making a nuisance of themselves. The second man asks the first, "What happened? I didn't ask for ducks."
The second man replies, "I know, the genie is a little hard of hearing. Do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"
_____________________________________________

There are three blonds and a redhead hanging from a flagpole that is sticking out the side of a building. They know they can't hold on forever, so the redhead says "I think I can swing to that open window over there!"
She swings back and forth, back, forth, jumps, and makes it!
The three blonds clap.
_____________________________________________

I have more but I don't feel like taking the time to type them up now. Maybe later.

  • 12.31.2004 9:50 PM PDT

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