- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Master Chief walks down the street to go eat some food. He's all wearing new armor and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some Grunt jumps out of nowhere. MC starts beating this Grunt’s ass bad. Then he starts trying to run away, but MC launches a rocket at him. The rocket blows the Grunt totally up. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. MC starts flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
The audience sees MC and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. His girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend "the eye" and popping like 16 boners. But MC sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is an Elite with lasers and everything. MC is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. MC's boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the Elite's boners explodes while making a whistling sound. MC looks back at his girlfriend . She smiles and they pork.
Meanwhile, this Hunter is living in a humongous house. At his house, he has babes lying all over the place. The next scene is hot. this Hunter takes this super hot babe back to his room to make-out. Then MC comes out of nowhere and smashes this Hunter’s head like a melon. Then all these Flood come out of nowhere and MC has to beat the Flood’s asses. First he kicks this one Flood dude right in the nuts. The Flood dude screams and jumps out the window. Then he jumps in the air and kicks two Flood dudes in the nuts at once! Both flood dudes evaporate. Every time MC kicks nuts, a guitar squeals hard. Then MC has to battle the flood boss. The flood boss is huge. Before the flood boss can attack, he uppercuts the flood boss’ nuts so hard that the boss explodes. Then the guitar squeals REALLY hard and explodes.
MC is sleeping at his house. this Jackal walks by singing a super annoying song. Then MC wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. this Jackal just keeps walking and singing, while MC starts blowing up a building. When this Jackal walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of this Jackal's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that MC was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and MC starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible).
The next morning, there’s this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes. This Priest decides to steal the mounds and surround the castle with a bunch of Covenant and everybody freaks, except the king who’s like “Chill homies, I’ll handle this crap.”
The Priest stands outside the castle walls and is like “You think you are so cool, but guess what, you’re not. Good luck dying!” Then the king replies “Yeah right. How would you like to meet my best friends?”
Then out of nowhere there’s a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills. The wailing starts getting louder and louder and louder. Then out of nowhere, they see MC standing on top of a huge hill looking totally sweet. Everybody is like “Woooooooooooow!” He’s wearing all black and he has this jet red guitar in his hands. Then smoke smokes over the hills like trains. But the smoke is really billions of Spartans! And the Priest sees about a billions Spartans with guitars standing on top this his huge hill. And they start to wail…
When the Spartans wail on their guitars, the Covenant start spraying diarrhea on each other and love it. And when they wail harder, the Covenant spray harder. As the Spartans saunter down the hill, the Covenant’s chests and butts explode. (They die from this.) Then the Spartans finally reach the Priest who is really huge. Out of nowhere the Priest pulls out this baby banjo and tries to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. MC is like “Yeah right.” and all the billions of the Spartans surround the Priest. Half of the Spartans all combine to form the biggest guitar in the universe. The other half form the second biggest boner in the universe. Then the huge guitar points right at the Priest, who is like “Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” Before the Priest can even do anything, the super boner slaps against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever. the Priest explodes so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had explode and all of his grandparents explode along with his neighbors and people who he merely said “hello” to.
Then there’s this huge concert at the castle with the Spartans forming the boner and guitar. All the babes in the castle morph into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch pork softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sits on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughs his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the Priest was. Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
FIN
PS If you just laughed your frigg'n ass off or had no idea what the heck you just read, visit http://RealUltimatePower.com
[Edited on 1/2/2005 3:21:18 PM]