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Subject: Community Waaambulance + Moronic Statements # 1 *Unofficial*
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Hi PyRo Reporting live from Bungie.Net

This is nowhere near as good as Bungie's, I'm still getting owned. But I'm giving it a shot anyway.

Also bring it back Bungie, its a blast.

1. No names are used for humiliation and privacy reasons

2. This is for fun and humor or at least some of them are....

3. Moderator Approved

4. if you have constructive criticism, PLEASE critizize away, I'll definetely read it.

Next time will be better with more variety and more time put into it.


These are waaambulance and some of the most moronic statements I've seen in the last week here on Bnet

Possible Topics Might Include the following


Recon
Melee
Recon
Maulers
Recon
Rank System
Recon
Bans
Recon
Lag/Connections
Recon
Maps
Recon

That should cover a lot of them.

I will come out with one of these every two weeks, so send my PM box anything you find also.


No, I do not deserve this ban in any way. No, I did not violate any terms of service.
No, my connection did not lag out others or make the game unbearable. No, I did not cheat.
No, I did not trash talk. Yet I get a ban.

Is there any way that Bungie could lift the ban, and/or (at least) apologize.



Apologize!



I got banned from MM for being to freakin' goodat it! Is this even fair?




Right……Real hard to be good in red bar…….



Ok when i turn on my box it says... "We have detected a bad connection and you might experience this in matchmaking or something like that. Then it says this 360 console has been banned from Halo 3 matchmaking... Umm for what?



Uh, read the message, again.



I know its not anyone fault but if it is not possible to unban me then I would like a refund.



Refund? you broke the rules…..keep trying…….



Ever since the Xbox Live Christmas meltdown, i have lagged very badly.
Before that, i never used to lag unless there was that occasional lagger.
Now i am that occasional lagger.



Another person who knows nothing about xbox-live





Bungie needs to fix their issues with connections, every other game is yellow bar. Thats all I have to say about that.




WoW another person who knows nothing about connections. Especially when it’s Live’s servers to begin with, not Bungie’s.



I told you to not let Bungie just release 3 maps, but noooooo you ignord my post and now look. we get stuck with no vasoline again, Bungie we love ya but next map pack you owe us 5 MAPS for 800 pts.



Bungie owes us nothing.



Ya see bungie every one thinks Halo 2 is more fun then Halo3. Even my friends at school siad so




That’s why you're still in school.



Screw off every1, that first post is for Bungie only, dont "flame" me if u dont like it



That’s what the PM system is for…….



The only thing that would have saved this mediocre game would have been its hidden goodies outside the maps, now you can only get to them with $100000 worth of PC and hacking soft wear.



ROFL hacking software………and 1 more thing mediocre…ya that’s why 300 million bucks rolled in within a week…sounds mediocre to me…….






Why cant we have pelicans on halo 3 i know the maps are small



Hmm…..answered you're own question…….



I don't really like the Ranks either i like the old way where it was jus LvL's




It still is LvL’s in playlists………



am i the only one or does halo 3 suck, melee sytem is -blam!-, no one likes sword clash, no good maps, no fun gameplay---only good graphics. Matchmaking system suks, u cant bxr, bxb, or double shot- something that should be a strategy not a glitch, I say dump halo 3 and make everyone go back to halo 3!!! leave comments




Leave Halo 3 and come back to it…..and a *I can has Glitches* person……….



I won like 12 games, and I almost went +5 or higher every game, and I rank up 1, after about 6 wins or so.

I lose ONE, and I go back down.

Dont give me any of that "It goz by skillz not teh winz", because I had at least 12-20 kills every match and had a great S/D ratio :|.



S/D Ratio? Sounds fishy to me……….



it is the best selling xbox 360 game of all time

I don't think so.

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Playstation 2) has sold about 15 million copies, right?




XBOX 360!!! Playstation………..




just honestly won 8 games on my 44, and then lost one, and went down to a 42, so , yea,

"Fix it Fix it Fix It Fix it Fix it.

Fix it Fix it Fix it."

Thank you



Please tell us 1 more time…….and use proper grammar next time also…..



i just played 39 games of team slayer and only lost 4 and im a 48 still?????? idk but i think bungie blows wen it comes to ranks thts fed up tht im still a 48, idc wut "the rank" should "think" i am but i should be a lvl 49 or 50 its bs that im still a 48 i cant get past it im seriously bout to quit halo nd break the disk




Only 39 games and LvL 48 and your complaining?



Bungie suck at halo 3 . they take off shotty snipers cause they cant snipe or shotgun . bungie let people who play the game like vote or something cause Bungie are retarded




That’s because we keep asking for a veto system……..


Is there a place other then this hell hole where your loyal fans can point out the flaws that make your game almost unplayable and not be -blam!- chastised for it? I get this itchy feeling that you people over at Bungie recognize that your game is a piece of -blam!-... yet you chose not to do anything about it because you're too busy making loads of money and laughing at us




Ya, that’s also why there not working on AU1.……..





Get rid of it. Seriously, it is not fun period.
Everyone who's played BTB knows how horrible that gametype is.
I quit everytime it's so bad. (Covies)




Right you represent everyone……..



HOLY -blam!- GET A -blam!- LIFE OR GET A GIRLFRIEND OR SOMETHING OR SOME REAL FRIENDS!! JUST LEAVE YOUR BASEMENT FOR ONE DAY YOU -blam!- -blam!-!!1 LEAVE YOUR COMPUTER AND XBOX BEHIND FOR ONCE!! YOU CAN DO IT! STEP OUTSIDE!! WALK THE DOG OR SOMETHING JESUS CHRIST!!! YOU ARE A LOSER




Wow I didn’t even know Bungie worked in their basements……and if there *losers* then why are you playing their awesome game?



How come i try and post something important and no one even
comments it once, but people put up stupid stuff like "meet someone retarted"
and they have 5000 comments



Probably because you have nothing above a moronic statement to talk about…………




for -blam!- sake bungie dont u think its about time you brought outa -blam!- patch
.. grenades are too -blam!-ig powerful the mauler is a piss take the assult rifle
is a bastard spud gun. it takes 17 -blam!- bursts of an br to take down someones
bastard sheilds just to find they bunnyhop away throw 631 grenades at u and ur there
tm bounces around the corner and robs ur -blam!- kill... -blam!- bollucks overated game
BRING OUT A -blam!- PATCH AND MAKE THE WEAPONS MORE RELIABLE AND THE GREANDES LESS OF A
BASTARD PISS TAKE.. and what the -blam!- wereu thinking when u put that bastard rank system
in place...OMFG WHAT A PISS TAKE



Wow now Master Chief hops like a bunny, can’t kill anyone with over 2 clips of BR and is somehow still capable of throwing 631 grenades at once!


Also this post sounds like a clean version of a rap song.



=======RECON ARMOR===========

My Favorite ones now.



Someone has to find a way to beg the living crap out of Bungie to get Recon or Flaming Hayabusa!!!



Keep going buddy your almost there…….



I sniped myself last week i sent it to bng and they did not respond yet



Originality running rampant here………..




unfair it is of bungie that they wont give us recon




Unfair they didn't share the profits also.




Thanks for Reading Waaambulance #1


[Edited on 01.24.2008 6:51 PM PST]

  • 01.24.2008 3:00 PM PDT
Subject: Community Waaambulance + Moronic Statements # 1

Halo3Planet, the place for all things Halo 3..

Need help finding skulls, make sure to go here.

Some of them were funny, but the majority were the exact same thing, but reworded. The responses to them were somewhat mediocre, and I didn't actually laugh at any of them. I applaud you for doing this, though. In the future, I would advise you against using "lol" in your responses. They add nothing to it and make it seem more immature. Thanks for taking the time to make it, though!

  • 01.24.2008 3:09 PM PDT
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And the Shadow fell upon the Land, and the World was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World. The moon was blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.

A lot of them were lame, but some good ones as well.
Good job putting it together:)

  • 01.24.2008 3:09 PM PDT
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Thanks guys. I threw it together in under an hour so it was kinda quick, but regardless of how funny any of them are, they are all moronic.

Also took out a few lol's

I'm not as good as bungie, but I can improve.

Also thanks for the constructive critiscism, I'll read it all day long.

[Edited on 01.24.2008 3:16 PM PST]

  • 01.24.2008 3:13 PM PDT
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And the Shadow fell upon the Land, and the World was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World. The moon was blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.

Yeah.
Try to get more varied stuff next time, as the guy above, Arrow or w/e, pointed out, some of them were basically the same thing said with different words.

  • 01.24.2008 3:17 PM PDT
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Allright, it will be easier now also knowing that I'm looking for them as I wasn't intentionally looking for them before, I just had to do a quick search mainly on locked threads.

Thanks again I'll remember more variety, just remeber they will keep getting better.

Just wish I had a few e-mails.

  • 01.24.2008 3:20 PM PDT
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one of my favorites

i achieved overkill but did not get the gamer score for it nore did i get the medal, in the same game i also got these medals but recieved no recognition, the medals were: extermination (x18) invincible (x1) killionare (x1) untouchable (x1) rampage (x1) running riot (x1) killing frenzy (x1) killing spree (x1) killapocalypse (x1) killtastrophe (x1) killimanjaro (x1) killtrocity (x1) killtacular (x1) overkill (x1) triple kill (x2) double kill (x20) assassin (x70) killed vip (x63), the game was a rocket race on isolation.

  • 01.24.2008 3:21 PM PDT
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Posted by: Mr_Hand
one of my favorites

i achieved overkill but did not get the gamer score for it nore did i get the medal, in the same game i also got these medals but recieved no recognition, the medals were: extermination (x18) invincible (x1) killionare (x1) untouchable (x1) rampage (x1) running riot (x1) killing frenzy (x1) killing spree (x1) killapocalypse (x1) killtastrophe (x1) killimanjaro (x1) killtrocity (x1) killtacular (x1) overkill (x1) triple kill (x2) double kill (x20) assassin (x70) killed vip (x63), the game was a rocket race on isolation.


Thats is funny, also if you see any PM for entries also.

  • 01.24.2008 3:22 PM PDT
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And the Shadow fell upon the Land, and the World was riven stone from stone. The oceans fled, and the mountains were swallowed up, and the nations were scattered to the eight corners of the World. The moon was blood, and the sun was as ashes. The seas boiled, and the living envied the dead. All was shattered, and all but memory lost, and one memory above all others, of him who brought the Shadow and the Breaking of the World. And him they named Dragon.

Posted by: Mr_Hand
one of my favorites

i achieved overkill but did not get the gamer score for it nore did i get the medal, in the same game i also got these medals but recieved no recognition, the medals were: extermination (x18) invincible (x1) killionare (x1) untouchable (x1) rampage (x1) running riot (x1) killing frenzy (x1) killing spree (x1) killapocalypse (x1) killtastrophe (x1) killimanjaro (x1) killtrocity (x1) killtacular (x1) overkill (x1) triple kill (x2) double kill (x20) assassin (x70) killed vip (x63), the game was a rocket race on isolation.


Hahaha, absolute win!

  • 01.24.2008 3:23 PM PDT
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No where near as good as the original (and official) Waaaahmbulance, but I appreciate the time and effort involved in putting such a thing together. I'll keep an eye out for the next one.

  • 01.24.2008 3:23 PM PDT
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Posted by: TxV Aureole
No where near as good as the original (and official) Waaaahmbulance, but I appreciate the time and effort involved in putting such a thing together. I'll keep an eye out for the next one.



Thanks, and I know Bungie owns me.

I also have room for improvement which is good also, gives me a goal.

[Edited on 01.24.2008 3:28 PM PST]

  • 01.24.2008 3:26 PM PDT

Controlling fission events without incident since May, 2012.

I think putting more time into it would benefit greatly, as well as putting yourself into the mindset of a drunk in a gorilla suit. I'm not sure you can pull off the latter though, my friend.

  • 01.24.2008 3:28 PM PDT
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I don't think I can pull it off either on that last part.

My to do list:

1 - Write 500 word essay for english
2. Write 2000 word essay for Networking
3. Finish 2 Math Chapters and Final
4. Write 3 more 500 word essays for english
5. Prepare for phscology test next monday

And thats only school. lol

  • 01.24.2008 3:33 PM PDT

Fac Fortia Et Patere

It's pretty good, but still, like you said, nothing near to what Bungie could do. Still funny, and a nice piece of work.

  • 01.24.2008 3:34 PM PDT

Controlling fission events without incident since May, 2012.

If I were you I'd take my time then, set deadlines are no way to work for a hobby-esque thing like this.

  • 01.24.2008 3:35 PM PDT
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Posted by: Master Chef
If I were you I'd take my time then, set deadlines are no way to work for a hobby-esque thing like this.


good idea, getting ready to start my 500 word essay and then my 2000 word essay and start knocking these out.

Maybe I should do it everytime I get 25 with 5 statements from 5 different topics.

Also I need damn e-mails. Thats cheating bungie! Jk

  • 01.24.2008 3:38 PM PDT

Video of Rodent's Abode
Posted by: Cockburnicus
You missed the point like Vader missed the banshee, your whole argument is covered in bees.
Stop sending me group invites -blam!-s!

Well this is different.

  • 01.24.2008 3:41 PM PDT
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Posted by: muffin man one
Well this is different.



Though we could lighten up the forums a bit.

  • 01.24.2008 3:45 PM PDT

I always hated you the most.
My Message Policy

Pretty good I enjoyed the recon ones especially, but with recon alone I'm sure there is plenty to work with. Good job.

  • 01.24.2008 3:53 PM PDT
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Posted by: Panzershreke
Pretty good I enjoyed the recon ones especially, but with recon alone I'm sure there is plenty to work with. Good job.


Thanks

done with 1st paragraph of English paper.


I need to set up an e-mail that ppl could e-mail with why they think they deserve the R word armor. Then I could own.


* starts on paragraph 2 *


[Edited on 01.24.2008 4:53 PM PST]

  • 01.24.2008 4:52 PM PDT

Every two weeks huh?

I enjoyed this. =D

  • 01.24.2008 5:48 PM PDT

How come stupidity is infinite? :(

  • 01.24.2008 5:50 PM PDT
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Posted by: Coffey4780
Every two weeks huh?

I enjoyed this. =D


Ya no set time limit atm bu this sounds about right.


Also my next community project will be rolling out soon.

btw 3 paragraphs done

I'm gonna enlist the chief to help me now.

[Edited on 01.24.2008 8:12 PM PST]

  • 01.24.2008 8:12 PM PDT

<3 PMS Clan-Twitter-Personal Site
Posted by: Deus_Ex_Machina
Cortana 5 is a carbon-based lifeform that frequently visits these forums, currently residing in the United States. Practically every male on the site responds to her posts.

The Joyeuse IP Formula

Haha! I love those! Maybe you could make them a little more... mean? Or snappy, perhaps?
I loved the last Recon one about sharing profits!

  • 01.24.2008 8:27 PM PDT
Subject: Community Waaambulance + Moronic Statements # 1 *Unofficial*

Very funny. You might try making them a little more sarcastic, but other than that, good stuff!

  • 01.24.2008 10:38 PM PDT

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