- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Researchers have taken the past three days (It may be more or less. Researchers are strung out on caffeine, and are attacking his project like ling ling on the chase for his head).
They have found startling results.
For example, they have found out symptoms that may indicate a user is infected by "The Bungie Effect".
1) A cruel and unusual punishment, err, sense of humor. Examples: (Found from subjects cranial membranes), include jokes such as "Finding Ling Ling's head". An experiment was conducted. A user who had not visited The Bungie Website, asked "Whats up with that? Who is this Ling Ling Guy? Why is his head missing? And why does it matter to find his head anyways? He's already dead, who cares! Are they going to use his head for some kind of hood ornament or something? Wouldn't that be some kind of building code violation?
User who had been on site remarked "Thats kind of funny".
When user (researchers suspect he was under complete influence of TBE) was subjected to "Finding Ling Lings head" user, started cracking up making incoherent remarks. Unfortunately result was not applicable on 100% of test subjects, however, reports indicate that users under stronger influence of "The Bungie Effect" appear to understand humor that makes absolutely no sense.
2) Users suffering from "The Bungie Effect" (or in its upper forms) tend to post in segregate in certain areas. Research indicates that users that are just beginning to show symptoms congregate in other areas.
3) Treatment of Bungie Employee posts as "Godly". In early stage of TBE, users tend to reply to employee posts with "WTF! You are a blaming idiot and blam blam blam blam blam blam blam blam blam* . Later on user might remark “Bungie Employees Don’t Listen and Don’t Care”. Farther along in conversion user might remark “Bungie Employees Don’t Post Very Often”. In terminal portions of disease user may post “A Bungie Employee Triumphs Again” or “Bungie Employees Are Always Right. I will now change the opinion of my post just to appease the great Bungie Masters of the earth! *
4) Adherance to Bungie Rules. Users under TBE are more likely too follow massive amounts of rules (Which in all likelihood are posted by Bungie to force users to memorize, increasing potent of TBE). This appears to be another common symptom of "TBE". However research also indicates that flagrant breaking of rules may result in a Kitana protruding from users cerebral cortex.
The following have been discontinued as symptoms of "TBE"
1) There appear to be profiles to a game known as "Halo 3" linked too users. Research indicates that Halo 3 was a massive game, that subverted millions of users. Unfortunately Halo 3 may have backfired, reversing The Bungie Effect in some cases, and causing users to post "Halo 3 sucks" or other such titles. In the profile of such users there appears to be something known as "Rank". Increase in this "Rank" level appear to have no correlation to The Bungie Effect whatsoever.
Researchers have found new devious methods of submersion into TBE
1)Something that has to do with scouting. Preliminary scans of brains indicates that scouting appears to be important to Bungie users. Anything associated with reconnaissance missions appears to trigger hormone known as “Bungienodcytosis”. Increased levels of Bungiendocytosis” appear to subjugate user to an almost full subversion of “TBE” for a short period of time. Research conducted into this field has not yielded conclusive results, however data indicates that “Scouting” appears to be a key component of “TBE”. Interestingly scouting is a recent phenomenon. Also, scouting only appears to yield temporary results and can occasionally reverse TBE.
Researchers have also made a startling new discovery. It appears that Bungie runs a program to determine level of “TBE” subversion. Titles for such levels include “Heroic, Legendary, Mythic”. Data indicates that level of “TBE” subversion is measured through computer program. Accuracy of computer is in doubt, however, users with such “titles” appear to be more likely to possess severe symptoms of “TBE”. Hypothesis are being formulated whether the program (rumored to be known as The Disembodied Soul) measures level of TBE through a complex scanning code located in every Bungie.Net page. However, such data is not conclusive. It is however proven that if a user is selected incorrectly and reveals that they are no longer under TBE, they are punished swiftly and harshly.
*Researchers are confused on what the word blam means, and whether it has some sort of significance to The Bungie Effect. Research indicates that initial use of the word "Blam", leads to "torture". Users using the blam appear to undergo withdrawal symptoms for times ranging from 3 days to 7 days too 30 days. Bungie Inc appears to have restricted access to their site, and as users are usually hooked faster to their site then a mouse on the hunt for cheese, it appears that critical endorphins are no longer released in aforementioned user’s bodies. Thus they suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms known as “Going Outside”. “Walking to area outside of computer room” and “Eating”. Once researchers conclude prelim results, thought is being taken to contact Congress on the torture methods enforced by Bungie.
Interestingly, reports indicate that users using the word Blam are also more likely to be found in a ditch with a Ninja sword embedded in their backs. A theory is circulating the office that the word blam means “I wish to submit Bungie. My mind is no longer on the path to riotousness. Please torture me too increase my obedience”. Unfortunately, the areas where “Blam” is used appear to not be areas frequented by users under heavy influence of TBE. Perhaps the word “Blam” is a call to the Bungie Forum Ninjas to investigate. It may be that users are not actually posting the word “Blam” and that the word “Blam” is actually a call for so called “Ninjas” to administer additional hypnosis and withdrawal symptoms.
Note: Idiotic assistant theorized that blam means an “Innapropriate word is being used”. Idiotic assistant was thrown out of window. Researchers are searching around for a new applicant, if you wish to apply send an email too … unfortunately idiotic assistant had all of the password memorized. Researchers are undergoing a cranial vertex scan in an attempt too locate password information. Brain appears to be severally damaged from 77 story impact, however, data may still be recoverable.
•Secret document appropriated from Bungie Office appears to indicate “Mind Control”. Evidence points too TBE being an instrument of aforementioned mind control.
Following this report, brain scans will be published. Unfortunately assistant was unable too upload images in present condition. Reseachers are disappointed assistant is so lazy that minor conditions such as “death” stop user from posting in forums.
Also here are clarifications that need to be addressed (preferably to user subverted by researchers).
1)Age (how hold a user is) appears to have nothing to do with TBE. Only date of joining. Research indicates that TBE has equal effect over all demographics that visit site.
2)The largest influence to TBE appear to be time, as well as torture.
Interestingly all users notified of existence of TBE seem to agree to its existence.
[Edited on 01.31.2008 7:16 PM PST]