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Subject: How to defend against bullies: the guide
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People, being a "bullie" myself, I'd know that NONE of that works. Heres what you do. Either make a joke just before he hits you, or fight back like a man!

  • 01.18.2005 4:52 AM PDT
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Short story this one, I was attacked by a 6'4 guy on my rugby team when I was 16 (you know, one of those freaks of nature with bad attitude), I was 5'10 at the time. I kicked him as hard as I could in the balls, then hit him in the throat. He got out of hospital the following day after an emergency trachaeotemy (or however you spell it, basically they shove a tube in the throat to let you breathe).
Lessons learnt: 1. No matter how big or hard they are, there is always somewhere you can hit them
2. When questioned by teachers or police, in a clear case of bullying, particuarly when they are bigger than you, you will be surprised what you can get away with once you mention newspapers to the school!!!

  • 01.18.2005 5:10 AM PDT
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Well I only bothered to read the first page, but there is always my option: Call me and my squad of ninja monkeys for 20$.

  • 01.18.2005 6:59 AM PDT
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KIck them in the nuts and stamp on there face repeatedly whilst they lie screaming on the floor before telling them the next time they screw with you will have them clipped.

  • 01.18.2005 11:29 AM PDT
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Posted by: DancesWithHogs
The moral of this story is to learn a practical martial art, not Olympic Tae Kwon Do with it's useless flips and pretty kicks, but a real self-defence art like Ju-Jitsu, Aikido, or Krav Maga, the Israeli military's combat fighting style(personal recommendation on that last one).
and beat the -blam!- out of the bully on his home turf.


Not to start a flame war here, but being a practitioner of Tae Kwon Do, I must protest. All martial arts have their own distinctive strengths, and weaknesses, yet none are better than the other. While it is true that some may be more practical than others, each can give a skilled martial artist the ability to seriously hurt, or even kill your opponent. Sorry for that bit of critiscm, but I felt that I had to say something.

  • 01.18.2005 11:30 AM PDT
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Sending a fresh shrink wrapped chicken to a made up address on the other side or the world by the slowest service you can find with the option to have it returned to sender if they find the made up dosent actuall exist and their address on the rts lable

  • 01.18.2005 11:35 AM PDT
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Posted by:onlyme
Sending a fresh shrink wrapped chicken to a made up address on the other side or the world by the slowest service you can find with the option to have it returned to sender if they find the made up dosent actuall exist and their address on the rts lable






mmm good plan but that would get you severely beaten after he finds out its you.

[Edited on 1/18/2005 11:50:25 AM]

  • 01.18.2005 11:44 AM PDT
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Posted by: DaedalusMJ12
Posted by: DancesWithHogs
The moral of this story is to learn a practical martial art, not Olympic Tae Kwon Do with it's useless flips and pretty kicks, but a real self-defence art like Ju-Jitsu, Aikido, or Krav Maga, the Israeli military's combat fighting style(personal recommendation on that last one).
and beat the -blam!- out of the bully on his home turf.


Not to start a flame war here, but being a practitioner of Tae Kwon Do, I must protest. All martial arts have their own distinctive strengths, and weaknesses, yet none are better than the other. While it is true that some may be more practical than others, each can give a skilled martial artist the ability to seriously hurt, or even kill your opponent. Sorry for that bit of critiscm, but I felt that I had to say something.

I just said that becouse Olympic Tae Kwon Do teaches nothing about an actual fight, and the other styles focus much less on how cool you look. Tell me, did you take the Olympic version or the practical self-defence version.

also, to Liu Xuande, Aikido and Tai Chi (not the old people on a grassy hill but the fighting style) are probably the two most spiritual arts, and they also have the "I just kicked your ass with hardly and effort." look. I never took Aikido but I started taking Tai Chi when I moved to California

  • 01.18.2005 11:54 AM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Posted by: Liu Xuande
I can second dances story. Except I used Aikido. That is my favourite martial art to use. Since if you are skilled you use little energy. Making you seem even more of a 'tough guy' And I'm only an orange belt...


I second that. I'm not an expert in Aikido, but you don't have to be to be able to use it. I do. Stuff like headlocks, finger killing, if someone punches at you, grab there arm, twist it, and milk their fingers. Bliss.

I also use very guerilla like fighting, attacking any available space.

  • 01.18.2005 1:54 PM PDT
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What is it called when you break you finger punching someone unconcious because of bullying then all his mates jump on you and you get hammered but you land a few good blows and get away scot free cos they started it? That.

  • 01.18.2005 2:20 PM PDT
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Personally I'm an advocate of Penkak Silat

  • 01.18.2005 2:21 PM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Posted by: Link Lance
What is it called when you break you finger punching someone unconcious because of bullying then all his mates jump on you and you get hammered but you land a few good blows and get away scot free cos they started it? That.


you dont quite understand what Aikido does. You can put a man in submission with as much energy as walking 3 meters.

  • 01.18.2005 2:53 PM PDT

Devil is Double is Deuce and Joker always trumps Deuce.

How to escape jocks:

1. Wave soap around threateningly
2. Insult the school team
3. Throw a football in the opposite direction
4. Tell them where you hid their girlfriend
5. Insult their masculinity
6. Or, like Heck Hole said, Piss yourself

  • 01.18.2005 2:56 PM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Jocks are only egotistical preps. Trust me, a regular shady, cool, non-showoff skater could kick a jocks arse....hmmm....be right back with a video.....

  • 01.18.2005 2:59 PM PDT

Devil is Double is Deuce and Joker always trumps Deuce.

Posted by: xX343 GuiltyTaft
People, being a "bullie" myself, I'd know that NONE of that works.


Trust me, if someone get real scared and started pissing all over the place, you'd run away.

  • 01.18.2005 3:01 PM PDT

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What do you call the brutality you learn on the streets? I guess street fighting. That is my technique.

  • 01.18.2005 3:02 PM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.

  • 01.18.2005 3:02 PM PDT
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Posted by: DancesWithHogs
Posted by: DaedalusMJ12
Posted by: DancesWithHogs
The moral of this story is to learn a practical martial art, not Olympic Tae Kwon Do with it's useless flips and pretty kicks, but a real self-defence art like Ju-Jitsu, Aikido, or Krav Maga, the Israeli military's combat fighting style(personal recommendation on that last one).
and beat the -blam!- out of the bully on his home turf.


Not to start a flame war here, but being a practitioner of Tae Kwon Do, I must protest. All martial arts have their own distinctive strengths, and weaknesses, yet none are better than the other. While it is true that some may be more practical than others, each can give a skilled martial artist the ability to seriously hurt, or even kill your opponent. Sorry for that bit of critiscm, but I felt that I had to say something.

I just said that becouse Olympic Tae Kwon Do teaches nothing about an actual fight, and the other styles focus much less on how cool you look. Tell me, did you take the Olympic version or the practical self-defence version.

also, to Liu Xuande, Aikido and Tai Chi (not the old people on a grassy hill but the fighting style) are probably the two most spiritual arts, and they also have the "I just kicked your ass with hardly and effort." look. I never took Aikido but I started taking Tai Chi when I moved to California


heh i like him. Im from Israel learend Isrealy martial arts since i was 5 till i was 4 then moved here started lifting and learnign Aikido and Kendo.

  • 01.18.2005 3:03 PM PDT
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Posted by: echo630
Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.


Heh yea a skater boy got on my ass once. I beat the living day lights out of him. The kid had problems breathing when i was done. Went to the ER. NEVER EVER mess with the quite kid who keeps to himself while taking your garbage for five years. He dosnt look twice at me now.

  • 01.18.2005 3:08 PM PDT
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That's right. My plumage is brighter than yours.

Posted by: Kendoboy
Posted by: echo630
Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.


Heh yea a skater boy got on my ass once. I beat the living day lights out of him. The kid had problems breathing when i was done. Went to the ER. NEVER EVER mess with the quite kid who keeps to himself while taking your garbage for five years. He dosnt look twice at me now.


exactly. see, ur not a jock. ur quiet, to urself, and a kickass fighter, like me. But since I am very quiet, people think that maybe im weak and slow....wrong. The quiet ones always kick thine most ass because they don't brag (which gives you small balls, by the way :) and we don't show exactly how strong we are by playing varsity football or picking on weaker ones...or so you think theyre weaker than you until they beat your ass.....point is, every superman has his kryptonite (jocks=skaters and quiet kids, skaters=quiet kids, quiet kids=yeah f***ing right dude)

  • 01.18.2005 3:20 PM PDT
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Posted by: echo630
Posted by: Kendoboy
Posted by: echo630
Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.


Heh yea a skater boy got on my ass once. I beat the living day lights out of him. The kid had problems breathing when i was done. Went to the ER. NEVER EVER mess with the quite kid who keeps to himself while taking your garbage for five years. He dosnt look twice at me now.


exactly. see, ur not a jock. ur quiet, to urself, and a kickass fighter, like me. But since I am very quiet, people think that maybe im weak and slow....wrong. The quiet ones always kick thine most ass because they don't brag (which gives you small balls, by the way :) and we don't show exactly how strong we are by playing varsity football or picking on weaker ones...or so you think theyre weaker than you until they beat your ass.....point is, every superman has his kryptonite (jocks=skaters and quiet kids, skaters=quiet kids, quiet kids=yeah f***ing right dude)


You have no idea. This guy outweighed me by about 30 pounds though he thought he had the upper hand. Heh he dosnt think much now. Damn punk got what he deserved should have snaped his skate bored over his head.


[Edited on 1/18/2005 3:28:09 PM]

  • 01.18.2005 3:27 PM PDT

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Posted by: echo630
Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.

Not sure if anyone here skates but in the skater universe that fight is legendary. Mike Vallely is actually one of the most peaceful people on earth. Of course you wouldn't know that from the video.

  • 01.18.2005 3:28 PM PDT
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Posted by: CabKiller
Posted by: echo630
Here it is. Greatest show on EARTH.

Not sure if anyone here skates but in the skater universe that fight is legendary. Mike Vallely is actually one of the most peaceful people on earth. Of course you wouldn't know that from the video.


Funny the guy I took on looked a lot like him.

  • 01.18.2005 3:29 PM PDT

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