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Subject: Jokes.
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Yo mama is so fat, she got her own zip code.

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world.

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy.

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!".

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!".

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway.

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

  • 06.15.2004 7:44 PM PDT
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You're always the one to end topics. lol good jokes

  • 06.16.2004 3:33 AM PDT
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Two atoms were sitting in a bar. Atom 1:
- I think i've lost an electron! Atom 2:
- Are you sure? Atom 1
- I'm positive.


A man was sitting in a bar. Then a panda comes in, walks up to the bartender and orders something to eat. When it has eaten, it pulls out a gun and shoots the bartender, and runs away. The man then follows the panda and asked it why it had shot the bartender. The panda says to the man that he should find the word panda in a dictionary. The man does that, and in the dictionary it says:
Panda: eats shoots and leaves

(this one is directly translated from swedish)
Once upon a time there was an american, an arab and Bellman. They were standing at the top of the eifel tower. Then suddenly the american throws money down the tower. The arab and Bellman ask the american why he had done it, and he answers "we have so much of it in my country". Then the arab pours out oil from the tower. The american and Bellman asks the arab why he had done it, the arab answers "because we have so much of it in my country". Then Bellman tosses the arab down the tower. The american asks why he did it, and Bellman answers "because we have so much of them in my country".
(sorry if this joke was a bit long and rasistic)

  • 06.16.2004 3:59 AM PDT
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I got a real good one:

So this penguin takes his car to the mecanic (dont ask me what kind of car, it was a penguin car) and the mecanic says: come back in 30 minutes. So, the penguin goes out for ice cream. His favorite kind is vanilla, so thats what he gets. BUT...having a beak, he cant eat ice cream well and he gets it all over his face. Later, he returns to the mecanic (to pick up his car). The mecanic slides out from under it on his trolley, notices the penguin and says: Looks like you blew a seal

Budumchee.. (you know the sound effect I mean...)

  • 06.16.2004 8:37 AM PDT
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who liked my joke? show of hands....

  • 06.16.2004 8:40 AM PDT

yoo•zel- ('yoo-zhul): slang: vb.

Officium quod Fidelitas.

Remember guys just keep it clean...

Yo mamma's so fat when it was said let there be light she was told to move!

  • 06.16.2004 9:00 AM PDT
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Posted by: Yoozel
Remember guys just keep it clean...

Yo mamma's so fat when it was said let there be light she was told to move!


HaHa, I remember telling that to my cousin and he laughed for like five minutes straight!

P.S. My joke was the best so far...

  • 06.16.2004 9:02 AM PDT
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the three things that are good about your wife:
her mother died, her mother is dead and isn't coming back alive.

  • 06.16.2004 9:04 AM PDT
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Roses are red violets are blue
I'm a scitzafrantic and so am I.

  • 06.16.2004 9:26 AM PDT
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heres a joke my O-Chem professor told me:
whats the difference between a prostate and a gall bladder?

oh, theres a vas deferens


HEY OOO!

  • 06.16.2004 11:30 AM PDT
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n1

  • 06.16.2004 11:52 AM PDT
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A mathematician, a biologist and a physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First, they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while, they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate."
The biologists: "They have reproduced".
The mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."

  • 06.16.2004 11:54 AM PDT
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Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions.

  • 06.16.2004 11:55 AM PDT
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A frontiersman went into an Indian village to purchase a wife.
The chief showed him three young women. The first was seated on a deer skin and could be purchased for the sum of five ponies. The second was seated on a buffalo skin and could also be purchased for five ponies. The third young woman was seated on a hippopotamus skin and could be purchased for ten ponies.
"Why does this one cost so much more?" asked the man.
"You know," replied chief Pythagoras, "the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides."

  • 06.16.2004 11:55 AM PDT
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world..... Those who understand Binary, and those who don't.

  • 06.16.2004 11:56 AM PDT
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.

  • 06.16.2004 12:06 PM PDT
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nice

ill remember those when i wanna stand out in a professors head

  • 06.16.2004 12:36 PM PDT

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