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Subject: An Open Letter
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Dear Halo Director Guy:

People who play Halo get a huge amount of enjoyment out of it; it is a game that brings people together, regardless of creed, color, or religion. This is probably because they can't see each other. However, Halo is indeed sending the wrong message not only to the children of America, not only to the children of the world, but to many children who have not been born yet, and perhaps never will be.

In the beginning of time, there existed men who lived in caves. Our brilliant scientific minds have given them the moniker "Cavemen." Back in the old prehistoric day, it was obvious what each day's main focus was: not dying. I'm sure it had to be fun, waking up and having to choose between either A) going after some freaky looking elephant thing with tusks larger than your body and trying to stab it with a sharp rock on the end of a stick; or B) eating pine needles that you gathered because you were too scared\halfway intelligent to attempt such idiocy.

As time went on, and the human mind progressed beyond that of a trained monkey, people were able to come up with inventions and ideas that helped to not only increase leisure time, but make staying alive a secondary concern. For example, diseases were conquered with the development of vaccines and antibiotics. Simple plastics were turned into bulletproof vests that allowed hip-hop artists to keep it real without being shot really a lot. Last but not least, the invention of television (and the need to see yourself on it, no matter the reason) led people to go to absurd lengths to get airtime (everything from jumping off a roof to stapling their genitals to...things) despite the inherent danger to their lives and future child-bearing opportunities.

However, the game of Halo, released in 2001, was truly the beginning of a scary trend in our society. Halo was a game that fell under the umbrella of a First-Person Shooter. The object of the game was to use several weapons in order to attack and ultimately attempt to kill (!) a fellow player. Here is where the scary part comes in, though: After a character is killed, they simply "respawn" after a set amount of time...in essence, they return to life. What's the problem there, you ask?

It's simple...the children of today obviously lack the brainpower to comprehend that Halo is only a game, and that if you killed someone in real life, they would indeed not respawn, but would in fact continue to be dead.

I'm sure we have all heard the stories, or seen the headlines in many newspapers.

YOUTH KILLS CLASSROOM FULL OF KIDS WITH ROCKET LAUNCHER; BECOMES CONFUSED

Our kids nowadays are too hopped up on that MTV and malt liquor, and have lost their respect for the sanctity of being alive. The popularity of Halo and its sequel have caused the unchecked slaughter of thousands by the simple-minded youth of today. We demand that the programmers, directors, sound composers, voice actors, and janitors at the Bungie studios come forward to be burned at the stake for their crimes against humanity.

Be warned that we have many well-paid lawyers, and suing your ass is not out of the question, nor something we would not enjoy doing. Very much.

Gracias.

Sincerely,
Fathers Against Gaming Society

  • 01.19.2005 9:15 AM PDT

._____Metal
/..}-/-{..\
I.X....X.I..... Jets: Check
.T_V_T......Chargers: Check
...****........Colts: -blam!- them....

Send that to Commedy Central, it's funny.
It was a joke, right?

  • 01.19.2005 9:19 AM PDT
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  • Exalted Legendary Member

The enemy of my enemy shall die next.

I know the voices in my head are not real, but they have some great ideas.

Brown chicken Brown cow!

I like the bit about the freaky looking elephant....... : )

  • 01.19.2005 9:19 AM PDT
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First mothers, now fathers.

[Edited on 1/19/2005 9:21:52 AM]

  • 01.19.2005 9:21 AM PDT
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Posted by: GothGuy
Send that to Commedy Central, it's funny.
It was a joke, right?


Yes, it was a joke. Quite a funny one too.

  • 01.19.2005 9:23 AM PDT

-S

c'mon kids, don't make me spell it out:

Father's Against Gaming Society.

Har. ;)

  • 01.19.2005 9:24 AM PDT
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OMG Funny use of the Acronym Stahn (F.A.G.S) keep the funny stuf comming and try to get more people to join our group, you know the one (Death Trend Settas).

  • 01.19.2005 9:26 AM PDT
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Hahaha. That's great.

  • 01.19.2005 9:29 AM PDT
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Posted by: Stahn Aileron
It's simple...the children of today obviously lack the brainpower to comprehend that Halo is only a game, and that if you killed someone in real life, they would indeed not respawn, but would in fact continue to be dead.


Have you looked at the rating for this game?

It happens to be mature, intended for adults, people over the age of 18. Children today do lack the brainpower to comprehend that Halo is only a game that is why it is intended for adults.

  • 01.19.2005 9:30 AM PDT
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amagod such funny.
anyone likes this letter join up with the "Death Trend Settas".

Do it up ya people. We're puttin C City on the map, ya heard.

You Know.

Peace Easy.

  • 01.19.2005 9:33 AM PDT
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Dont hate Metal Nutz. Man you must be a member of F.A.G.S.

It was a joke you hoser.

BTW if you're not in the group F.A.G.S., you should join, they'll like your style.

P.S. devolope a sense of humor.....burn

[Edited on 1/19/2005 9:38:46 AM]

  • 01.19.2005 9:37 AM PDT
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That was a great read...I found myself getting rather mad until I saw who signed it...F.A.G.S...you got me :(

  • 01.19.2005 9:46 AM PDT
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After looking at Griffin's post, I have one response.

<sigh>

  • 01.19.2005 10:17 AM PDT
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Griffen Spades, you're retarted. Go to the corner and think about what you typed.

If you would have fully understood this post, you would have realized it was a joke. And if you would have the other replies, that would have given you a pretty good hint that it was a joke....or go join F.A.G.S. with what's his Nutz

[Edited on 1/19/2005 10:19:33 AM]

  • 01.19.2005 10:18 AM PDT
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Posted by: Griffin Spades
Posted by: KillaKap
Griffen Spades, you're retarted. Go to the corner and think about what you typed.

If you would have fully understood this post, you would have realized it was a joke. And if you would have the other replies, that would have given you a pretty good hint that it was a joke....or go join F.A.G.S. with Metal Nutz


meow im sorry there if i ruined your gusy little joke geez, go eat some pie really dude.


Hunted In the Real you hoser. I dont like pie... but I'll have some cake

  • 01.19.2005 10:21 AM PDT
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You, sir, deserve a cookie.

  • 01.19.2005 10:26 AM PDT
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lol some people posting here are taking it seriously!!!! BURNED

  • 01.19.2005 1:42 PM PDT

hey your not dead.... a buncha people thought you were.... you probably knew that though....

  • 01.19.2005 4:17 PM PDT
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I did acutally think that it was a guy making an real, but odd post. I guess it was a joke then. The acroynm was extrmely funny as well.

  • 01.19.2005 4:25 PM PDT
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i hate you. you made me laugh. and right now it hurts to breathe, let alone laugh *ow*

  • 01.19.2005 5:30 PM PDT
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Posted by: Xeroh
Heh, hahaha... ha... No I dident read any of it.

  • 01.19.2005 5:43 PM PDT

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