Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
US actress & comedienne (1939 - )
I am a 28 year old male, whom is still girlfriend free, if you ladies are interested. Throughout my whole life, I was bullied and teased for my weight and my strange demeanor. In my quest for a boyfriend-free girl, it appears to be futile in that even when I was advertising myself as a caring, nice man, women flocked to the more masculine types. Sorry, I got carried away, I'm just in an emotional dilemma, for I was raped by not just one black man, but seven. Yes, seven, seven of which raped me with much bestial fervor. I was in west Philadelphia at the time, at my childhood playground, playing a game of auto-basketball by myself as I usually would every Sunday. Night was coming, and I practiced frivolously to improve my basketball prowess. As I made my last free throw shot, several of those hooligans entered the court; I was not aware of the events that would proceed. They said to me, if I can recall it accurately, "YO WHITE BOY, YOU GONNA GET RAPED!!!!" I was startled, yet steadfast. I had rights to this public domain, and no African American was going to keep me from exercising that right!!!! However, I would find that my rights were not the only things violated, but also my body; my forbearance was my demise. I would not appease to the minorities demands, and, as if time stood still, the buckle holding my suspenders was unhooked. I buffered to the door, simultaneously calling for help, but only to be replied with a miserly old woman's heckling. Why was I chosen by fate, no, by God to be the victim of such a crime? I looked into her callous eyes, which taunted me. Suddenly, four words escaped from her lips, "You gonna get raped..." The shadow she casts bore remarkable similarities to the devil, then I looked at the reflection in her spectacles. I saw the sweat running down my face, my bloodshot eyes filled with tears, the seven beast subjugating me, my fate. My cries of help were only meant with the heckling of that wretched geezer, who's visage resembles that of Madea, and the breathing of the seven. They took off my suspenders, tore through my limited edition Capt. Kirk replica uniform, and bounded me with rope. Then my mom got scared And said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air'
I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my suitcase and send me on my way
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket.
I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.
First class, yo this is bad
Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
But wait I hear there're prissy, bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat?
I don't think so
I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air
Well, the plane landed and when I came out
There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out
I ain't trying to get arrested yet
I just got here
I sprang with the quickness like lightning, disappeared
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I can say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air