Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Joke Thread
  • Subject: Joke Thread
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2
Subject: Joke Thread
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Alright, since people on the internet seem to have some pretty good jokes, go ahead and pop 'em in this thread. Sorry, I don't have any but if you have one that you feel is good, please feel free to post them here. (P.S.) Keep them relatively clean, and no racial slurs/comments, we don't want to make people mad on here, this is just for fun!

  • 01.24.2005 6:51 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Yes, Yes, I know this joke sucks really, really, really, really, bad, but this is just an icebreaker. 1 guy walked into a bar, the next guy ducked.

  • 01.24.2005 6:56 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Your mom is so ugly that the people had to hang your mom's picture on their cars so their radios wouldn't get stolen. (No offense)

  • 01.24.2005 6:58 PM PDT

Moderator Notice: This user has been blacklisted from this forum. Until the user is removed from the blacklist, all posts this user has made have been hidden, and all topics created by this user have been censored.

Your right that did suck.

  • 01.24.2005 6:58 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: CabKiller
Your right that did suck.


yeah, like I said, it was an icebreaker. And to that second guy, I haven't heard that one before

  • 01.24.2005 7:01 PM PDT

Moderator Notice: This user has been blacklisted from this forum. Until the user is removed from the blacklist, all posts this user has made have been hidden, and all topics created by this user have been censored.

Ok your mama jokes it is.
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

  • 01.24.2005 7:03 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

hahahah, that was pretty good. Here goes. Your mama so fat that when she wears red and goes to the beach, all of the kids come up to her and go Kool-Aid.

[Edited on 1/24/2005 7:05:55 PM]

  • 01.24.2005 7:05 PM PDT

Moderator Notice: This user has been blacklisted from this forum. Until the user is removed from the blacklist, all posts this user has made have been hidden, and all topics created by this user have been censored.

Your mama so fat she wakes up in sections.

  • 01.24.2005 7:08 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

alright, moving on from the Mama Jokes, any other contributors. C'mon this is pretty fun, helps you get to know which people have a sense of humor on Bungie.net

  • 01.24.2005 7:09 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

ok this is pretty funny if you get it:

a college proffesor mortician( performs autopsy at mourge) is teaching his first class of the semester. The first thing he says is " to pass this class you will need two things, One is no fear." having said that he sticks his finger up a dead mans butt on the table in front of him and then licked his finger. "Now i want all of you to do the same. he said" after a few minutes of hesitation everyone in the room does that with a dead corpse in front of them. "then the professor says "the second thing you will need is observational skill, for instance how many of you saw that i stuck my middle finger up the guys butt yet i licked my index finger.

  • 01.24.2005 7:16 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

So there's this scottish guy who just moved to America and he keeps hearing about Baseball. So eventually he comes to a game. He notices that when the first hitter hits the ball the crowd all yells "Run run!!" so he's like "all right I get this" The next batter comes up and misses and no one yells. He's like "all right then don't yell when they miss it." So then the pitcher throws one ball. two. three. four. They batter starts walking to first. THe scottish guy's like "What are ye doin'? Run!! Run!!!" The man beside him says "No he's not supposed to run he's got 4 balls" The scottish guy says "Ohhhhh.... Walk with pride laddie. Walk with pride!"

  • 01.24.2005 7:32 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Plus there' always the joke in my sig!

  • 01.24.2005 7:59 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

[color=white] Alright, I got one. At customs in New York a new boatload of immigrants has just arrived from Sweden., you hear a man taking everyones personal information "Step up, Next" A little man named Olie Olson gets up to him. The man asks Olie "Weight?" "127 pounds" "Height?" 5' 9" , and where are you going in America? Olie replys that he is going to Milwaukee, Wisconsin to go live with his cousin Sven. "Alright, welcome to America, step up, NEXT!" A HUGE lady walks up. The customs guy asks the same questions to her as she did Olie. "Name?" Mrs. Olie Olson "Now where are you going to live in America?" She says she is going to Milwaukee to live with Olie and Sven. Weight?" 250 pounds "Height?" 6' 3" the customs guy says to her "Good god lady, your big enough to play for the Green Bay Packers", to which she replies "I only play with Olie's Packer."[/color]

[Edited on 1/25/2005 1:28:26 PM]

  • 01.25.2005 1:23 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Okay, so three twins walk into a bar...

  • 01.25.2005 1:26 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

So he says "So do you love me??? She goes No, but thats a real nice skimask.

  • 01.25.2005 1:35 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Ok, so a guy has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes in and says "Daddy, why did you name me Rose?" the dad responds "cause when you were born i dropped a rose on your head." the second daughter comes in and says "Daddy, why did you name me Daisy?" the dad says "cause when you were born, i dropped a daisy on your head" the third daughter comes in and says "Duhhhhh..." the dad says "hi cinderblock"

  • 01.25.2005 4:21 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

A guy sits in a bar drinking some beer. Another guy joins. He also orders some beer. Soon both get drunk and start craze talk. The first says I bet you all my worth's life saving's that you can't jump out the window and fly. THe second man says your on!!!!! The first man jumps out and flies perfectly. THe second one joins and falls to the ground dead. The bar waiter says "You can be very stupid and crazy especially when your drunk Superman."

  • 01.25.2005 4:27 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

This guy walks into a bathroom and has to take a dump. he has already started his dump and then he saw there was hardly any more tiolet paper. so he whipped his butt with his fingers. he then saw that they was still enough to clean himself. when he reached in his finger got cut so he stuck his fingers in his mouth.

  • 01.25.2005 4:49 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Where did the general put his armies?








In his sleevies!!!!!!!!!

  • 01.25.2005 5:11 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Wow....... that was bad.

  • 01.25.2005 6:45 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

While the wicked stand surrounded, Call me, with thy saints surrounded.

Me
Me again

what do you get when you cross a elephant with a rhino?
elephino<----(pronounce quietly to yourself.)

  • 01.25.2005 7:03 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: coheed
Wow....... that was bad.


I got more if you want 'em

  • 01.25.2005 7:04 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: MadSniper2
Posted by: coheed
Wow....... that was bad.


I got more if you want 'em


Let'em rip, this is for fun, even if some jokes are kinda corny.

  • 01.25.2005 7:07 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Yo mama so fat her nick name is "u gonna eat dat."

Yo mama so fat when she jumped out of a plane she got stuck.

  • 01.25.2005 7:13 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Silent Courage
hahahah, that was pretty good. Here goes. Your mama so fat that when she wears red and goes to the beach, all of the kids come up to her and go Kool-Aid.


thats rather nasty

  • 01.25.2005 7:34 PM PDT

  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2