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Subject: Joke Thread
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yo mama so bald headed, when she took a shower she got brainwashed.

  • 01.25.2005 7:38 PM PDT
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so the first guy says to the other guy, hey, if you help me find my keys, we can drive out of here

  • 01.25.2005 7:40 PM PDT
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Four -blam!- guys walk into a bar but theres only one chair. How do they all sit down?

Answer: They flip the chair upside down.

  • 01.25.2005 8:16 PM PDT
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a guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "man i got so drunk last night i blew chunks." the bartender says "thats nothing, a guy came in here got so drunk he wreaked his new bmw, his wife left him, his daughter dies in a car accident, and he goes bankrupt." the man says "no no you don't understand chunks is my dog."

[Edited on 1/25/2005 8:30:05 PM]

  • 01.25.2005 8:25 PM PDT
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Your mommas so fat when she wore a yellow dress and tried crossing the street people started shouting"Taxi!!!"

  • 01.25.2005 8:31 PM PDT
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What is Michael Jackson's favourite time?












When the big hand touches the little hand.

  • 01.25.2005 8:36 PM PDT
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Your mama's so fat, that shes really fat

  • 01.25.2005 9:00 PM PDT
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Yo mama's so dumb, after you came in from a walk and said "It's chilly outside" she ran and got a bowl.

  • 01.25.2005 9:20 PM PDT
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A bear and a rabbit were in the woods taking a dump. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks, " Hey, do you ever have a problem with crap sticking in your fur?". The rabbit looks up at the bear and squeaks out a shaky " No. N-n-not really." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

  • 01.25.2005 11:42 PM PDT
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hahah, that's pretty funny.

  • 01.26.2005 8:21 AM PDT
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Ok how about this one

So, this guy, Bill is sitting at the bar and pulls out this tiny little piano and a little guy about a foot tall. The little guy sits down and starts playing the piano quite beautifully. The fellow on the next bar stool, Joe says' That's amazing. Where did you get him?' Bill says' well I got this magic lamp with a genie' So the other fellow says that's great could I use it?' Bill says 'sure ' and hands him the lamp. Joe rubs the lamp and out comes the genie. He says' I want a million bucks'. Suddenly the room is entirely filled with quacking ducks! Joe exclaims 'Hey! I asked for 1 million BUCKS! not DUCKS!' Bill explained 'Yes, the genie is a bit deaf. You don't think I really asked for a twelve inch pianist do you?

  • 01.26.2005 8:36 AM PDT

I'm only human. So are you...

Ok so what did he really ask for?

  • 01.26.2005 8:53 AM PDT
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a 12 inch 8=========== )

  • 01.26.2005 8:59 AM PDT

I'm only human. So are you...

Ok here is all the fat momma jokes I know:



You are so fat that when you played soccer, you jumped to do a header but got stuck between the two goal nets.

Your momma is so fat she irons her clothes on the 401.

Your momma so fat that when she jumped in the air she got stuck between the milky way and the black hole.

Your momma is so fat that the black hole was mistaken for her -blam!-.

Your momma so fat that the doctor needed a compass to find her nose.

Your momma so fat that I got lost running around her.

Your momma so fat that when Moses split the red sea into two, God helped by dropping her in.

Your momma so fat that she is the cause of the Tsunami Disaster cuz she jumped off a diving board in America.

Your momma so fat that to get to school you sit on her stomach and she bounces you there.

Your momma so fat that they used her as a giant boulder in Indiana Jones: Riders Of The Lost Ark.

Your momma so fat that there are no walls in your house.

Your momma so fat that she caused an eclipse when she jumped in the air.

Your momma so fat that her bed is the Grand Canyon.

You momma so fat that her bathtub is the Great Crater in Mexico.

Your momma so fat that her gravitational pull threw Halley's comet off course.


Well those are all the ''fat momma'' jokes that I know. If you all want to hear jokes of another category, just tell me by sending me a private message to my profile: Tactical Fire.


Oh yeah, click here to see what your fat momma would look like. PWND lol.

[Edited on 1/26/2005 9:13:42 AM]

  • 01.26.2005 9:06 AM PDT
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Posted by: hilldweller
A bear and a rabbit were in the woods taking a dump. The bear looks down at the rabbit and asks, " Hey, do you ever have a problem with crap sticking in your fur?". The rabbit looks up at the bear and squeaks out a shaky " No. N-n-not really." So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.


- Eddie Murphy

Delirious is the -blam!-.

  • 01.26.2005 9:06 AM PDT
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Ok, there is a pie on the table in a room in a pirate ship. The first pirate walks in the room says, "Hey a Pie!" A monkey with a sword kills him. The second pirate walks in and says, "Is't a pie!" a monkey with a sword kills him. Then the captain of the Ship goes in the room and says "A monkey with a sword!" and the pie killed him.

  • 01.26.2005 9:15 AM PDT

I'm only human. So are you...

man where the hell is everyone???

  • 01.26.2005 9:16 AM PDT

I'm only human. So are you...

Doesn't everyone like the -blam!- part? The word -blam!- is so funny. it actually refers to the -blam!- of a donkey. Man the must smell.

  • 01.26.2005 9:18 AM PDT

I'm only human. So are you...

[color=blue] God I have exams damn damn damn[/color]

  • 01.26.2005 9:23 AM PDT
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What do you name a dog with no back legs and metal testicles? Sparky

  • 01.26.2005 11:07 AM PDT
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One day , two worms are in the body of a human women. They decide to explore the place a bit , but it seemed so huge to them.
"Hey , what do u think about splitting up ? I could check whats up there and u could check out how things are down there. I think we are in the stomach , thats quite central isnt it ?"
"Yea , that'd be cool , okay , I'll go down under ;) see u in a couple of hours"
And the worms went their way ...
...After a few hours the worm that went upside returns , no sign of the other guy
"Well, I'll just wait here then ..."
After a while the worm that went down under returned , he looked awfully pale ...
"Ow buddy , u dont look too good , what happened ?"
the other worm was almost in shock
NNnnnooo ... U ..U go fffirst ..."
Well, okay , I went up there and entered the skull, I expected to see lots of brains or so , but all seemed very emty to me . I think she is blonde ! Well, for the rest , I saw some eyes , teeth , .. nothing really special ... But tell me what happened to u , u are a bit calmed down now , u but u still seem very shakey to me"
Well , I went downstairs , at first sight , there was nothing really special ... but then I came into a large tunnel , and I began crawling ... and crawling ... and crawling ...
and then , I saw light , and a reeeaaaal big worm ... and was like "In and out" and "In and out" and "In and out"....
So I got tired of it and I said *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away !* and he went away , but then he came back ! And I was like *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away !* and he went away , but then he still came back and I was like *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away , just GO AWAY! *
And u knw what he did then ? he spitted at me !!!!

[Edited on 1/26/2005 11:58:03 AM]

  • 01.26.2005 11:57 AM PDT
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Posted by: Fiurha
One day , two worms are in the body of a human women. They decide to explore the place a bit , but it seemed so huge to them.
"Hey , what do u think about splitting up ? I could check whats up there and u could check out how things are down there. I think we are in the stomach , thats quite central isnt it ?"
"Yea , that'd be cool , okay , I'll go down under ;) see u in a couple of hours"
And the worms went their way ...
...After a few hours the worm that went upside returns , no sign of the other guy
"Well, I'll just wait here then ..."
After a while the worm that went down under returned , he looked awfully pale ...
"Ow buddy , u dont look too good , what happened ?"
the other worm was almost in shock
NNnnnooo ... U ..U go fffirst ..."
Well, okay , I went up there and entered the skull, I expected to see lots of brains or so , but all seemed very emty to me . I think she is blonde ! Well, for the rest , I saw some eyes , teeth , .. nothing really special ... But tell me what happened to u , u are a bit calmed down now , u but u still seem very shakey to me"
Well , I went downstairs , at first sight , there was nothing really special ... but then I came into a large tunnel , and I began crawling ... and crawling ... and crawling ...
and then , I saw light , and a reeeaaaal big worm ... and was like "In and out" and "In and out" and "In and out"....
So I got tired of it and I said *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away !* and he went away , but then he came back ! And I was like *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away !* and he went away , but then he still came back and I was like *kssssttttt ksssssttttt go away , just GO AWAY! *
And u knw what he did then ? he spitted at me !!!!


that is SICK, man.

  • 01.26.2005 12:25 PM PDT
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Yo mama's so dumb she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say "go"
Yo mama's so fat she plays ping-pong with the planets
Yo mama's like a video game everyone gets a turn
Yo mama's like a shotgun 2 -blam!- shes loaded
Yo mama's is like a vaccum cleaner she sucks she blows she gets laid in the closet
Yo mama's like a light swith anybody can turn her on
Yo mama's so dumb she thinks a quarterback is a refund
Yo mama's so poor she puts free samples on layaway
Yo mama's so poor she puts food stamps in gumball machines
Yo mama's so fat evrytime she goes to the beach the navy goes to defcon 4
Yo mama's so fat when she goes to seaworld they think shamu's loose
Yo mama's like a hockey player she doesnt change her pad for three periods

Thats all I got! Oo

  • 01.26.2005 6:16 PM PDT
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Here's a "Yo Mama" joke. It's pretty bad but I got it off a T.V. show. I don't know what the show was called.
Yo mama so fat that after we did it, I rolled over twice and I was still on her.

  • 01.26.2005 6:29 PM PDT

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