Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Funniest "One Liner", do you have what it takes?
  • Subject: Funniest "One Liner", do you have what it takes?
  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2
Subject: Funniest "One Liner", do you have what it takes?
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT


This thread is to see who can say the funniest one liners...

The only reward is the satisfaction that you are mega funny.

Lets see some funny One Liners!

  • 06.18.2004 2:23 AM PDT

R.I.P Steve Irwin...you will be missed

Jerry: "Ah, you're crazy."
Kramer: "Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?!"

Join Date - 4/19/2004

"can i play horse( the basketball game) with you"? says 6 year old kid

" go gallop away" demands 13 year old.


it was funnier when my friend said it.

[Edited on 6/18/2004 2:52:24 AM]

  • 06.18.2004 2:27 AM PDT

-S

Keep it at least PG 13, people.

  • 06.18.2004 2:50 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Come'on, please people make these jokes clean. I don't want to upset the moderators ok.

Sorry about that Shishka.

  • 06.18.2004 2:57 AM PDT

R.I.P Steve Irwin...you will be missed

Jerry: "Ah, you're crazy."
Kramer: "Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?!"

Join Date - 4/19/2004

wa are ya'll talkin about my dumb joke?

  • 06.18.2004 2:59 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

It's kinda hard, because most one liners depend on context. So it's not funny on it's own, you have to hear the conversation. You know what I mean? But anyway, Family Guy has a ton of great one liners. "Why did the dinosaurs die out?" "Because you touch yourself at night."

  • 06.18.2004 3:00 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

can't talk about one-liners without mentioning the king of one-liners. Bruce Campbell. the man's a genius. funniest sonofa-blam!- to ever grace the silver screen. hail to the king, baby.

  • 06.18.2004 8:18 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

mexican: hey its low tide

dont you have some relatives to pick up?

  • 06.18.2004 8:44 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Xeroh
Hes ok,ugly but ok. and bubba-hot ep sucks.

dude, you're INSANE. bubba ho-tep is an amazing movie. and if you're going to spoil, have the good sense to say so first, eh?

[Edited on 6/18/2004 8:52:10 AM]

  • 06.18.2004 8:51 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond -

"Once upon a time - THE END"

  • 06.18.2004 9:00 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".

  • 06.18.2004 9:02 AM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

You look like my neighbor, he's had his body completely covered in third degree burns, mauled by a bear, put through a paper shredder seventy-three time, slapped by a fish, and he's been dead for six years.

  • 06.18.2004 9:03 AM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

Ha. I haven't laughed so hard since I looked at your momma.

  • 06.18.2004 9:20 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Ringer
Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond -

"Once upon a time - THE END"


Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.

  • 06.18.2004 9:37 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: tmone17
Posted by: Ringer
Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond -

"Once upon a time - THE END"


Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.


Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.

  • 06.18.2004 9:49 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Why do Jewish men always die before their wives?

They want to.

  • 06.18.2004 9:52 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: Ringer
Posted by: tmone17
Posted by: Ringer
Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond -

"Once upon a time - THE END"


Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.


Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.


Yeah.... You dont even read to you kid. Reeeeeeeal good.

  • 06.18.2004 10:29 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Being in the car with my grandparents. haha.

Grandma: Harvey! Get gas! you will run out!
Grandpa: We won't run out of gas.
Grandma: GET GAS!!!
Grandpa: I'll get gas when you get off my ass!!!!

  • 06.18.2004 10:52 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

my face

[Edited on 6/18/2004 11:13:51 AM]

  • 06.18.2004 11:12 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Don't take this one the wrong way...


You know what's a joke? Women's rights.

  • 06.18.2004 11:20 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: tmone17
Posted by: Ringer
Posted by: tmone17
Posted by: Ringer
Here's one I use on my son when he is trying to stay up late and he asks "Would you tell me a story?" I respond -

"Once upon a time - THE END"


Read to your kid you douche. Or hell grow up like you.


Mind your business. He would do well if he grew up as I have.


Yeah.... You dont even read to you kid. Reeeeeeeal good.


Question:

Where did you read that I don't read to my kid?

I'm sure my kid has more books (that he knows by heart) than you have brain cells.

Now if you had truly read this post you would understand this. Nowhere did I type that he asks me to "read" him a story. I wrote that he asks me to tell him a story. If you had the ability to reproduce and the authorities actually allowed such a travesty, you may one day have a child of your own and would understand entirely the theme of my statement. As you are undoubtedly still on the Food Nipple yourself, I can't believe it slipped past your massive arsenal of deduction. What I am saying is that kids (such as yourself) do whatever it takes to stay up late.

So in summary I will try to explain this so even you pimply faced knowitalldogooderstudentcouncilhonorroll types can understand it.

After reading him his 5 books (one for each year he has been alive) he then asks me to "tell" him a story. After an hour of Winnie the Pooh, Arthur and Grimm, I can barely keep my own eyes open. So I tell him "Okay, Once upon a time - THE END! Now go to sleep!"

Are we clear?

  • 06.18.2004 9:49 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

FOR SALE: Parachute,only used once, never been opened, small stain.

  • 06.18.2004 9:56 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

You people play sports like a bunch of retards trying to hump doorknobs..

  • 06.18.2004 9:58 PM PDT

  • Pages:
  • 1
  • 2
  • of 2