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Subject: TIPS TO HELP YOU IN LIFE
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-if a child is choking on an ice cube simply pour boiling water down its throat simply melting the blockage and allowing it to breath again.
-When having a pizza delivered call the shop back after it has arrived and tell them it was the wrong one . minuets later another pizza will be delivered. They will not ask for the old one back because they dont know what you have done to it . TWO PIZZAS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!!!!
-Old women a dab silver paint can make a hideous wart look just like a fashionable facial piercing.
-Cordless phones make perfect mobiles for agraphobics.

If you have anymore helpful hints or tips to help people of all ages and genders through life please feel free to add them.

  • 01.29.2005 6:37 PM PDT
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-if you have a F on your test, change the grade to an A secretly in the teacher's room.
-when doing a senior prank, you should lift your prinicipal's Ferrari and put it on the roof. IN THE RAIN. Or you can just photocopy your own butt and paste it around the prinicpal's room

Not good tips but I know they work.

  • 01.29.2005 6:41 PM PDT
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dont buy wireless controllers...they suck for halo

  • 01.29.2005 6:41 PM PDT
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Don't listen to onlyme :-)

Tristan ;-)

  • 01.29.2005 6:52 PM PDT
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-the safest, most effective, and most -blam!-ly stimulating place to place a lit blackcat firecracker is between your buttcheeks

-never eat yellow snow. Instead just drink out the yellow stuff

- the most logical thing to do when meeting the queen of england is slap her face and yell "THE ALIENS ARE COMING!!!"

[Edited on 1/29/2005 6:56:49 PM]

  • 01.29.2005 6:54 PM PDT
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Dont use viagra when doping race horses as it is to obivious. and it wont work on mares. And it only works if there are jumps.

  • 01.29.2005 7:05 PM PDT
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Tip#1-If a map fails to load wash your Halo2 cd with soap.
Tip#2-if you dial 911 cars with sirens will come to your house.
Tip#3-candy from strangers is the best.

  • 01.29.2005 7:07 PM PDT
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madcow2021s Essential Tips for Life

-Do not feed bears peanut butter
-Pireates hate blueberry muffins
-The toaster is not a hand warmer
-Don't plug in the potato
-House cats and bottle rockes don't mix
-Driving a school bus goin 80mph down the freeway can only result in good things
-That's not a hairless monkey that's a dwarf
-A can of tomato soup has many uses
-I am Batman

  • 01.29.2005 7:21 PM PDT
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-when 2 hot girls in bikinis are in a mud pit are having a strong verbal arguement, remind them that peace isn't the answer, violence is.

[Edited on 1/29/2005 7:46:26 PM]

  • 01.29.2005 7:46 PM PDT
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Best one yet agnet404

Tristan ;-)

  • 01.29.2005 7:49 PM PDT
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Posted by: agent404
-when 2 hot girls in bikinis are in a mud pit are having a strong verbal arguement, remind them that peace isn't the answer, violence is.


And to settle their score naked, remind them that their bikinis might give the other a hold on them. ; )

  • 01.29.2005 8:04 PM PDT
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Posted by: eliteskull94
Posted by: agent404
-when 2 hot girls in bikinis are in a mud pit are having a strong verbal arguement, remind them that peace isn't the answer, violence is.


And to settle their score naked, remind them that their bikinis might give the other a hold on them. ; )

I like the way you think...

  • 01.29.2005 8:06 PM PDT
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Posted by: agent404
Posted by: eliteskull94
Posted by: agent404
-when 2 hot girls in bikinis are in a mud pit are having a strong verbal arguement, remind them that peace isn't the answer, violence is.


And to settle their score naked, remind them that their bikinis might give the other a hold on them. ; )

I like the way you think...

[creepy pervert laugh] hehehe.....plllllloop! [/creepy pervert laugh]

  • 01.29.2005 8:27 PM PDT
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Posted by: HaloFREAK99635
-if you have a F on your test, change the grade to an A secretly in the teacher's room.
-when doing a senior prank, you should lift your prinicipal's Ferrari and put it on the roof. IN THE RAIN. Or you can just photocopy your own butt and paste it around the prinicpal's room

Not good tips but I know they work.


He know who's been watching those Full House reruns , now don't we?

  • 01.29.2005 8:39 PM PDT
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If aliens come to earth the best thing to do is to dig a hole to live in.

  • 01.29.2005 9:30 PM PDT

Devil is Double is Deuce and Joker always trumps Deuce.

-Animal House is the best movie ever
-If you steal an answer key, make sure it's the right one
-Toga parties are fun and can result in sex
-Don't play acoustic guitar around fat guys that look like John Belushi
-Always bring a ladder to college
-Make sure you drive a car that can be turned into a deadly parade float
-Don't piss off the Dean
-If you do piss off the Dean, kill a horse in his office
-Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life

And the Best advice to help you in life:
-Don't die

  • 01.29.2005 9:37 PM PDT
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eating mexican food just before going on a date is the best way to impress her

  • 01.29.2005 9:38 PM PDT
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Posted by: MCs Brother
-Animal House is the best movie ever
-If you steal an answer key, make sure it's the right one
-Toga parties are fun and can result in sex
-Don't play acoustic guitar around fat guys that look like John Belushi
-Always bring a ladder to college
-Make sure you drive a car that can be turned into a deadly parade float
-Don't piss off the Dean
-If you do piss off the Dean, kill a horse in his office
-Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.

And the Best advice to help you in life:
-Don't die


Yes, we all understand your amazing grasp of Animal House trivia.

[Edited on 1/29/2005 9:47:54 PM]

  • 01.29.2005 9:46 PM PDT
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The United States of America-- STILL more rights than North Korea!
--New official U.S. motto.

Cronin's Law----The New Flood Drinking Game

* To escape from confinement, get free!

* 42

* All your base are belong to us

* Se7en is Darker

  • 01.29.2005 9:48 PM PDT
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if world war 3 starts, don't join the army, die playing xbox is better.

  • 01.29.2005 10:38 PM PDT
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[color=green]***INCOMING TIPS FROM DURANDAL***
Orbital bombardment is magical.

Spelling-
Give me a D.
Give me a U.
Give me an R.
Give me an A.
Give me an N.
Give me a D.
Give me an A.
Give me an L.

What does it spell?

Durandal?
No.

Durandal?
No.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E.

And don't forget... T-Minus 15.193792102158E+9 years until the universe closes!
***END OF MESSAGE*** [/color]

Tristan ;-)

  • 01.30.2005 12:19 AM PDT
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The key to live the best life is: Live honestly, help a friend in need, trust your friends and family, give respect to those that deserve it, and ALWAYS lie about your age.

  • 01.30.2005 12:20 AM PDT
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When the sign says don't swim with the sharks. Man, you better not swim with the sharks.
And when a sign says caution 100 metre fall, you better not run past the sign trieing to prove it wrong.

I know these seem wrong, but trust me. I thought these didn't make any sense... Untill that grey december morn.

[Edited on 1/30/2005 2:07:58 AM]

  • 01.30.2005 2:06 AM PDT

Only Becausae I'm Awesome

Forum Tutorials --- WATCH THEM AND LEARN

* Eat Cookies

  • 01.30.2005 2:25 AM PDT
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I wouldn't say I was fooled by you littlerat...

Tristan ;-)

  • 01.30.2005 2:29 AM PDT

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