Off Topic: The Flood
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  • Subject: LASER WAR!!!
Subject: LASER WAR!!!

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5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

Half Lemming makes a desperate attempt to bite of Spartan 096's kneecaps. He only gets one though.

  • 06.19.2004 5:21 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 takes advantage of this moment to run with Half Lemming's keyes, to steal his
car, which has his wallet in it.

  • 06.19.2004 5:21 PM PDT
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Posted by: CANNON 117
Cannon and his company of two hundred drop into the fray with, not machetes, but noodles and swordfish. Hooha!

Half Lemming doesn't understand the noodle gesture and is upset that the attackers did not bring soy sauce.

  • 06.19.2004 5:22 PM PDT
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Posted by: Spartan 096
Spartan-096 takes advantage of this moment to run with Half Lemming's keyes, to steal his
car, which has his wallet in it.

Damn

  • 06.19.2004 5:22 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 takes Cannon's assault rifle and blasts him to kingdom come, or just in 15 equal sized pieces, anyone want some Cannon on a stick?

  • 06.19.2004 5:23 PM PDT
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Me, seeing as I have no car or money anymore

  • 06.19.2004 5:24 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

Cannon never had an assault rifle. He takes offense that someone would want to steal it (had he had one), so he sends twenty seven dwarves to attack Spartan 096.

[Edited on 6/19/2004 5:25:35 PM]

  • 06.19.2004 5:24 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 takes out a tactical nuke and takes em all to hell with her, but somehow hell didn't want her, she's to pretty to die.

  • 06.19.2004 5:26 PM PDT
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Half Lemming does the sensible thing and dies, Hell is nice and warm, also seeing as it is 2am here he put's up a sign saying "don't try anything funny" and goes to sleep.

  • 06.19.2004 5:28 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

The deity upstairs believed that Spartan 096 was too vain to live normally, so she was turned into a pink crocodile with glasses and a plastic arm. Hell couldn't handle Cannon, so they spat him back out. Lemming was just too damn annoying, so he was also spat out.

  • 06.19.2004 5:29 PM PDT
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with his keys?

  • 06.19.2004 5:30 PM PDT
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No lemming I have your keyes.Bwahahahahaha!
You were diced into 15 pieces!
(cheater)
Spartan-096 went to a store to buy another tacical nuke to blow cannon into 167 pieces
to feed all the starving children.

[Edited on 6/19/2004 5:32:45 PM]

  • 06.19.2004 5:31 PM PDT
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Half lemming gets deja vu, sending him to sleep (like soooo many Simpsons repeats) night all

  • 06.19.2004 5:33 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

All 167 peices take over all 167 children that ate them, and turned them into full sized Cannon Warriors. Each warrior is twice as strong as the original. Unstoppable, unbeatable, unkillable, they will sweep across the land. Ask nicely, and they will hold their attack off.

  • 06.19.2004 5:34 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 sneeks up on Half Lemming and stabs him in the heart while he was sleeping.

  • 06.19.2004 5:34 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

All of the Cannons laugh at the sleepy time murder of Lemming.

  • 06.19.2004 5:35 PM PDT
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Oh please you pathetic monsters, hold off your attacks, or I'll destroy your source......
Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

  • 06.19.2004 5:36 PM PDT
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Posted by: Spartan 096
Spartan-096 sneeks up on Half Lemming and stabs him in the heart while he was sleeping.

not with the keys, that would just be ironic. Half Lemming goes through oscar winning death scene. "egh"

  • 06.19.2004 5:37 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

All of the Cannons kick Spartan 096 in the shin. She hobbles up and down, and falls of a cliff. Unfortunately, she was wearing a parachute and managed to survive, but she will never walk the same again.

  • 06.19.2004 5:39 PM PDT
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Yes with your keyes, just killing you with something you used own.
Posted by: Half Lemming
Posted by: Spartan 096
Spartan-096 sneeks up on Half Lemming and stabs him in the heart while he was sleeping.

not with the keys, that would just be ironic. Half Lemming goes through oscar winning death scene. "egh"

  • 06.19.2004 5:39 PM PDT
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Posted by: CANNON 117
All of the Cannons kick Spartan 096 in the shin. She hobbles up and down, and falls of a cliff. Unfortunately, she was wearing a parachute and managed to survive, but she will never walk the same again.

Spartan-096 is reluctant to be a SPARTAN so she punches all of your cut-ups in the ass
and runs away laughing.
She also walked crookedly before, so you guys straightened my walking stance. HA HA!!

[Edited on 6/19/2004 5:43:15 PM]

  • 06.19.2004 5:41 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

The Cannons run away and retreat to the safety of the space station. A fleet of five hundred and forty nine ships is waiting for anyone to attack. Bring it, people.

  • 06.19.2004 5:44 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 eventually evades all of Cannon's ships and destroys him.

  • 06.19.2004 5:45 PM PDT

Five Tenets of Bungie.net Forum Life:
1. Trolls will always be well fed.
2. Blame-ability thy name is stosh.
3. Bungie has no control over retail prices.
4. Watch out for low-flying defense drones.
5. Seven is not optional, but rather, an inevitability.

166 Cannon Warriors find Spartan 096 on board the space station. They each have a shotgun. BOOM!!!! The resistance from Earth has finally been put down. The Midgets sing praises, and the dwarves light their hats on fire.

  • 06.19.2004 5:48 PM PDT
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Spartan-096 gets spat out of hell again and is immortal, so she destroys all of your cut-ups
and brtally murders you. And hell says, " stop sending her to hell, and get the hell out of here!"
j/k

[Edited on 6/19/2004 5:51:09 PM]

  • 06.19.2004 5:50 PM PDT