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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
  • Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
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This is like OMG awesome. I cannot beleive what you have created. A story that beats out halo 1 and 2 in my opinion. Simply amazing stuff Clark. Keep up the awesome writing. I would love to see Chief come back to Earth and beat the crap out of Ackerson. That would be classic but you are taking the halo universe in the totally right direction. Awesome.

  • 02.16.2005 8:06 PM PDT
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Great, just great again. Excellent!

  • 02.16.2005 8:56 PM PDT
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that chapter was awesome its the best one yet but i thought you said that the other spartans werent going to come into it at all

  • 02.16.2005 9:02 PM PDT

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Posted by: Mr_Clark
....

Also, I'm interested in your guy's take on how this story is going. Was my placing of the other Spartans in the Malta and the Athens cheezy and an easy cop-out? What about Ackerson. is he a believable character or does he just have the shapings of the traditional evil military guy?

Your input will be appreciated.

...


It's getting late on the good old East Coast, and I do have to work tomorrow, So I'll keep my normal "long windedness" to a minimum.

The "introductions" of Linda, Will and Fred ( IMO ) was handled fairly well. You managed to tie in there 'no show' status of Halo 2 without baztardizing the story of Halo 2. You mentioned earlier that you had planned to include them and the other book characters and they had a large roll. I think this path was handled perfectly. You introduced some speculation or theory and ran with, and "your" take on why they weren't in Halo 2 is very believeable. Bravo. It was not a cop-out on your part but a very interesting twist that fits in the Halo Universe.

Ackerson... While he doesn't have a "HUGE" role in the books, he is a central figure, and his apperances are very one dimensional. He wants what he wants, and doesn't like the spartans. He is the character you want to hate, and he was. He seemed to have been written that way in the novels. You captured that fell very well, but also you have an oppurtunity to expand on that. This is, after all, your fan fic... if you feel you need to give ackerson more meat.... go for it. You have trully displayed the talent to handle the task of giving a character more substance, and to continue the feel of the Halo Universe. If you want to tackle Ackerson, by all means, give it a go.
Yes, Ackerson does have the shapings of a typical military bad guy, but with so many rich villians left (gravemind, Truth, and not to mention any of the Rebel Covenant that have a grudge against chief) you have plenty of well balanced characters. But still, in your mind, we have no clue as to what Ackerson's role will be in the coming chapters.

I can honestly say, your story has me on the edge of my seat with every chapter. Your development of characters, and the continuation of already loveable characters, is great.
... I'll stop now. ...
Dang'it I still got long winded. haha

Right Marines?
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Stow that chatter!

  • 02.16.2005 9:38 PM PDT
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~I was born for the storm, and a calm does not suit me~

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I don't think you did Ackerson " cheezy", you made him totaly selfish, which is exactly like him. You didn't put to much in about the other spartans, and I think you ballanced the story out perfectly! You said you would PM everyone that wanted you to in the the 9th chapter for the 10th + chapters, so thanks. You get better every chapter! I think it would be great if you sent your story into Bungie!!! GOOD work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • 02.16.2005 9:47 PM PDT
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Thanks guys, glad to know I haven't gone off the deep end here.

I'm not sure if I can set a realistic release date for Chapter 10 just yet, though if you were to hold a gun to my head I'd have to say look for it around Sunday. I've been trying to keep my chapters around the same length, and so far they've run anywhere between 6-10 pages. I'm pleased with that and I want to keep up that tradition.

  • 02.16.2005 11:44 PM PDT

I shall cut into 343 Industries Headquarters, retrieve the Halo Bible and burn any 343 Industries employee that stands in my way.

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A good chapter, Mr_Clark. The part about the other surviving Spartans made sense. I'll be waiting for the next chapter.

  • 02.17.2005 2:09 AM PDT
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beautiful, wonderful, only one thing, i dont think that the ONI people would yet know about Halo and the Flood, but they could.

  • 02.17.2005 5:58 AM PDT

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One of the best chapters yet. Absolutely fantastic work Mr.Clark.

Just one thing. I know that Cortana had Informed ONI of the flood, and Master Chief had given them the data crystal containing some information about the flood and Its biology etc... so would the Admirals and other senior officers know about the flood? I would've thought ONI would have kept it a secret? Or at least it would be treated as classified so only the top Naval ranks knew about it. I'm not sure really.

  • 02.17.2005 6:51 AM PDT
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Posted by: Elite 44
One of the best chapters yet. Absolutely fantastic work Mr.Clark.

Just one thing. I know that Cortana had Informed ONI of the flood, and Master Chief had given them the data crystal containing some information about the flood and Its biology etc... so would the Admirals and other senior officers know about the flood? I would've thought ONI would have kept it a secret? Or at least it would be treated as classified so only the top Naval ranks knew about it. I'm not sure really.


I don't have time at the moment to go back and reread the chapter, so I may be wrong, but wasn't the flood mentioned in the meeting for the top ranking Navy officials? or was there another instance?

Serpensium_4 Posted: 2/17/2005 5:58 AM
i dont think that the ONI people would yet know about Halo and the Flood, but they could.


Surely MC, Johnson and Cortana would have been debriefed before the awards ceremony that took place at the beggining of Halo 2.

  • 02.17.2005 7:19 AM PDT
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My goal in life is to find out what happens.
keep up the good work clark.

  • 02.17.2005 7:47 AM PDT
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he is getting better by developing the plot a bit more and oh ye don't change a thing its the best fanfic i've ever read and i think you should publish it

keep going dont change anything
sorry i over step my bounds there change what you see fit but so far in my opinionj youve got ackerson to the letter

and whens chapter 10 out?

[Edited on 2/17/2005 8:24:08 AM]

  • 02.17.2005 8:22 AM PDT
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hey well done so far on keeping clutter and random posts from this thread lets try and keep it that way please people remember that you dont need to bump a thread to the top just add the thread to your favorites or put it in your signature so the thread dosnt need to be bumped

i know i said this already but just a reminder so the thread dont get erm locked or whatever by the ninjas

  • 02.17.2005 8:35 AM PDT
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I was wandering, are you going to talk about Mendez? 'Cause in First Srike, when Halsey was looking at those files on Reach I didn't really get that part of the book... Is Mendez dead? Anyway, that question has bothered me for a while. Thanks for the PM and for the next one you send me. Way Way good chapter!!!

  • 02.17.2005 9:23 AM PDT
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dr haysley saw a reference in ackersons logs to cpomz and a list of stellar coordinates not in unsc controlled space

now the cpomz could easily be chief petty officer mendez and i think it is but we could be wrong that might be part of the reason that dr h left with kelly to go check but i could be wrong though

  • 02.17.2005 9:30 AM PDT
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~I was born for the storm, and a calm does not suit me~

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Thanks, that helps alot!!!

  • 02.17.2005 9:47 AM PDT
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I'm sure everyone remembers from the books just how overloaded Cortana was with all the data she picked up while she was in the Halo database. I'd imagine one of the first things she did when their group returned to Earth was dump off as much of that data as possible.

ONI and Section III would be very interested in that information. Though what they're going to do with that information is up in the air for now.

Edit: In regards to CPO Mendez, he was already somewhat old when the training for the Spartans was finished, and that was in 2525, I'd imagine by 2552 he's a little on the older side.

[Edited on 2/17/2005 9:51:21 AM]

  • 02.17.2005 9:47 AM PDT
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~I was born for the storm, and a calm does not suit me~

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Very nice. How long has Cortana been "Alive"?
Jan's a great character to add to the story, just 'cause I wish I
could relate to her! Good Job!!!

  • 02.17.2005 9:54 AM PDT
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Dude, that is awesome. Keep it up.

  • 02.17.2005 9:54 AM PDT
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hey guys i just thought of somthing you know mc must be getting on himself hed be about 47 by now cause in 2511 he was 6 and its 2552 isnt it?

[Edited on 2/17/2005 10:04:44 AM]

  • 02.17.2005 10:03 AM PDT
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I believe Cortana is still somewhat 'young'. I doubt Dr. Halsey would have wanted to implement the final phase of the Mjolnir project with a middle-aged A.I. I think Cortana must be either in her first year of existence, or at the most her second.

As for the Chief, he's either 41 or 40, depending on the specific month and day that he was born. Something tells me that with all his augmentations age doesn't have much of a factor with him, or at least it won't until he hits his 60's.

  • 02.17.2005 10:12 AM PDT
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hey mr c whats doin still sticken with sunday as the next publication date well whatever you do dont rush it because these lazy little toads tell you to if you do itil be rubbish and they will all you for it so sit back relax take a chill pill and do it at your own speed

(ps sorry bout the flamin bit every one but im not in that good a mood right now)

[Edited on 2/17/2005 10:21:06 AM]

  • 02.17.2005 10:19 AM PDT

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Gotta agree with the age of Chief. But even at 60 he'll probably still be the most fit Soldier in the core. If age does slow him down, it would only slow him down to that of someone half his age. The only thing that may slow Chief (and the other spartans) is she wear and tear.

The constant battles have to be takeing a toll. I'm sure the man has used enough Bio-foam to fill his body weight, ten times over.

  • 02.17.2005 10:23 AM PDT
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Posted by: highland brute
hey mr c whats doin still sticken with sunday as the next publication date well whatever you do dont rush it because these lazy little toads tell you to if you do itil be rubbish and they will all you for it so sit back relax take a chill pill and do it at your own speed

(ps sorry bout the flamin bit every one but im not in that good a mood right now)


No worries, highland brute. I'm still thinking of a Sunday release for Chapter 10, though its a premature guess for now. I won't release a chapter before its ready, so no need to worry about anybody pushing me into an early release.

  • 02.17.2005 10:49 AM PDT