- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Posted by: TheGreatestSage
I can see the next chapter now!!!!
Master Cheif looked at Jan as she unloaded a battlerifle into a squad of enemys along with a frag killing them all. She finished the last one with a head shot. She looked up at the Cheif and said "pretty good huh?" as she said that the MC felt his sex drive slowly creeping back........j/k
Oh lord! Anyways, I would think, despite years of military discipline, MC would still have a sex drive. I vaguely recall one of the augmentations having to do with him getting pumped full of testosterone, thus (you would think) he would have an increased sex drive. And a deeper voice, as he was just hitting puberty anyway. In H2, Cortana always seemed to be making little jabs at him "You always take me to such nice places," and "HE never gives me anything!" I dunno just pointing that out. I wouldn't call it sexu*l tension, but there was a guy-girl thing going on. And I now know that Bungie sensors out "sexua*l, so I learned something today.
Anyways, back on subject, that was a wicked chapter. Since you welcome critiques, here's a couple to ponder:
-I disagree with most of the people about Ackerson. While it's established that he's a jerk, I think you should round him out with emotions other than just meanness. Give him some internal self doubt about what he is doing. Give him moments when he is thinking about humanity, rather than his career. It would make him much more human, rather than a villian caricature.
-The other Spartans being on the destroyed MACs was a perfect way to cover your tracks. Tu che!
- Looks like you're going in the direction I suggested way back, with the captured Covie techs being implemented by the humans. Of course, you probably had the idea before I even suggested it, but whatever! I just think it would be badass if human ships finally had superior technology. Then the Covies attack Earth again, and the battle seems lost, when all of a sudden....A fleet of newly equipped human ships blasts out of slipspace and starts slicin and dicin! Then I supposed you could explore the doubt of the Covenent, as their religion was based around their Forerunner techs being the pinnacle of technology and have now been proven wrong.
- I still say Johnson should be fitted with a crazy super-arm.
So, just some food for thought Clark...