- soulguard
- |
- Exalted Mythic Member
"Tag, you're it!" Agreed that we don't seem to comment much on each others works, but we both linger in the background, watching with child like anticipation for the next installment. So here I am, after a looong absence, about to stir up your hornest nest and pick at your brain, about the underlining points within your story.
You never cease to amaze. I could go on and on about how great, wonderful and talented you are, but instead, I'll focus on the story.
First I want to look at this:“I have heard of you,” Fasul spoke, using the tongue of the Sangheili, “Arbiter of the tamed dogs. You met the one of whom darkness cannot keep hidden. The prisoner of time and malice, one that fate has deemed to play out a part in this act, that has yet to be seen or realized.” And then to unite that with this: “You judge me do you? That is your right I suppose, as you were once mere lapdogs to the Prophets, bowing beneath them in the hopes of being passed scraps when you became lustful for attention. You looked at the Majal as Gods did you? I suppose it is always the deepest wound when one discovers that those they’ve placed upon an alter have feet of clay. Funny is it not, that you would presume that the error my people made was any less innocent than the one your own forefathers made when the Prophets first offered their hands to pull you from your barbaric ways, while fingering the blade at their side, imagining the moment when they would be given the chance to plunge it into your back. Shall I judge you then, Arbiter? You are a brave Sangheili, but your blind fanaticism led to the deaths of so many. How many times did you stand on the bridge of your ship, watching with malice as the Covenant fleets burned those human settlements, giving no care that innocent people dwelt there, and that their lives were being erased? It is easy to look down at my people, as we made mistakes greater than any that came before and afterwards, but you are not without sin.”
I see something promising here, a very alluring history of the Prophets and Sanghelii. I just wanted to reference this, and I honestly don't know why. It grabbed me from the moment I saw it, and in my mind (which appears to in some way model your own) will come back to bite us. It was so sutle, so small and quickly refrenced, yet has the potential to be a major tool in the interactions of the Majal and Half-breeds, as well as the Prophets.
It appears that you have big plans for the Sangheili... or am I being to picky? After all, this isn't the first time you mentioned how the Sangheili and Prophets connected. I think back to when the Arbiter first met with the UNSC and gave the story of his kin... how dark a tale that was. And now this. A sutle reminder that the Prophets and Sangheili are inter connected, since the very beginning of the covenant. Again, I maybe bitting too hard on false meat, but yet, it teases me so much that I can't let go.
Believe me when I say.. I'm always reading, waiting, and eager for more.
~soulguard
[Edited on 2/21/2006]