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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
  • Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
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i had just finished readfing all the other chapters and i was thinkin to myself when 10 was commin out and poof i got a pm......good job this is an awesome story.

  • 02.22.2005 1:23 PM PDT
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Wow, I got a PM too and I didn't even ask for one, that's awesome =D. Thanks Mr. Clark. When do you plan on releasing #11?

  • 02.22.2005 1:29 PM PDT
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He who makes a beast out of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man.

I.......am.......speechless. that was so awesome. That captured all the tension between the Humans and grunts, hunters,and elites. I really liked the part where Jan wakes up and the grunt is there standing over her, "Me not enemy!" oohhh good ol' grunts you never get tired of 'em. oh and could I get a pm next time? i asked for one but didn't get one, but I know you're probably busy.

[Edited on 2/22/2005 2:07:01 PM]

  • 02.22.2005 2:05 PM PDT
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that was great

  • 02.22.2005 2:23 PM PDT

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, not the lawyer, who has given us the right to a fair trial. And it is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves the flag, whose coffin is draped in the flag that allows the protester to burn the flag.Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, USMC

Nice work!

SO GRAVEMIND is still alive. Dam i hoped he was gone. Is he usaing 343 Guilty spark or the red one from DELTA HALO, cant tell

  • 02.22.2005 2:33 PM PDT
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Great job on the last chapter

  • 02.22.2005 2:45 PM PDT
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I think he's interrogating 2401 Penitant Tangent but I'm not sure.

Oh, and not to be the bad guy, but I'd like to give some constructive criticism. The majority of your story is written out in complete paragraphs and is gramatically correct, but there are some parts where you make errors. For example, sometimes you say 'your' instead of 'you're'. Also, twice you said 'our' instead of 'out'; I can only find one of them right now, so here it is: “Jan and me will go our first, along with the Arbiter,” the Master Chief announced. “With Commander Keyes and Cortana aboard they wouldn’t think to open fire on the ship.”

As I said before, I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything, just telling you that if you fixed these minor errors this story has a good chance of getting published, assuming it's not interfering with the 'Halo Bible'.=D. Anyways, good work!

[Edited on 2/22/2005 3:45:52 PM]

  • 02.22.2005 2:51 PM PDT
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Well, R and T ARE right next to each other on the keyboards, so it's not an uncommon mistake to make.

Bravo on another fun chapter, no real constructive criticism tonight though, too much damn work!

  • 02.22.2005 3:39 PM PDT
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I know. I'm just pointing it out so hopefully next time he won't make the same mistake, and we'll get another great chapter.

I really think that if Bungie approves the storyline, then Mr. Clark can make this the sequel to the first three Halo books. Or maybe he may agree to write a book based on a story they provide for him. Mr. Clark, I don't know if you're just an 'in-my-free-time' type of writer, or are looking to go pro, but I can assure you that you have the talent, so you should pursue it.

  • 02.22.2005 3:50 PM PDT
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Great chapter. Me want more.

  • 02.22.2005 3:54 PM PDT
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awesomr read man.

  • 02.22.2005 4:36 PM PDT
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Posted by: Halo3plzzz xP
I know. I'm just pointing it out so hopefully next time he won't make the same mistake, and we'll get another great chapter.

I really think that if Bungie approves the storyline, then Mr. Clark can make this the sequel to the first three Halo books. Or maybe he may agree to write a book based on a story they provide for him. Mr. Clark, I don't know if you're just an 'in-my-free-time' type of writer, or are looking to go pro, but I can assure you that you have the talent, so you should pursue it.


No problem, I know I have some grammatical errors and even spelling mistakes at some points. I'm a really terrible proof-reader, the most I do is check to make sure everything that's in italics is in right. I am just a 'free time' writer right now, but I'm really hoping that once I go off to university next semester I'll be able to start working full-time on some of my original novels.

*punches himself in the face*

That's right, I deserve a sound beating, I was so dumb, I forgot to PM those that PM'd me. I got home and saw that i had missed so many PM's, and that is soooooo my fault. I'm really terribly sorry to anybody I missed. I can even remember thinking as I posted the chapter, 'boy this took a lot less longer than I thought'. I'll make it up to you guys, I swear. Chapter 11 will be up Saturday, and I'll make the chapter almost twice as long as usual. No objections guys, this is a self-imposed punishment, and I'll stick to it.

[Edited on 2/22/2005 7:20:35 PM]

  • 02.22.2005 4:37 PM PDT
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genious... pure, undeniable, grunty genious.... * awed silence *

  • 02.22.2005 4:43 PM PDT
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Sorry I couldn't help you with the PM's this time Mr. C. Looks like you fell apart doing it on your own too, so I'm really sorry. If you didn't get a PM don't blame Clark, I usually handle half the PM's for him, but he had to do the whole course load this time. So go ahead and blame me instead.

Anyways, awesome chapter once again Mr. C, the lull in action didn't hurt the overall amazingness of your writing at all. I actually kind of liked this chapter the most so far. With your self-imposed punishment looks like we'll be getting an even bigger chapter on Saturday so that's great.

  • 02.22.2005 5:29 PM PDT
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great chap once agani mr. c

  • 02.22.2005 6:49 PM PDT
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tip you know how when you see a 3 miniute action sceen in a movie and if you try to decribe it it takes like 1/2 an hour take that 1/2 hour

  • 02.22.2005 7:25 PM PDT
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Can anyone sign up for a PM on new chapter release? If so sign me up!!

Thanks for the great read, look forward to your next release

  • 02.22.2005 7:25 PM PDT
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Clark that was amazing, pure brilliant. u set everything up perfectly, and the rivalry between the arbiter and the chief was perfect. send me a PM wen chapter 11 comes up, it would be greatly appreciated

  • 02.22.2005 7:59 PM PDT
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Posted by: Konoka_chan
Sorry I couldn't help you with the PM's this time Mr. C. Looks like you fell apart doing it on your own too, so I'm really sorry. If you didn't get a PM don't blame Clark, I usually handle half the PM's for him, but he had to do the whole course load this time. So go ahead and blame me instead.

Anyways, awesome chapter once again Mr. C, the lull in action didn't hurt the overall amazingness of your writing at all. I actually kind of liked this chapter the most so far. With your self-imposed punishment looks like we'll be getting an even bigger chapter on Saturday so that's great.


Gah, yeah I messed up Konoka. I guess I didn't really consider just how many PM's I really do send out each chapter until I'm faced with sending them all. If you can help me with Chapter 11 on Saturday that'd be really appreciated.

And yes, I will try my hardest to slam through Chapter 11, and get it ready for delivery then, and it will be longer than normal. After Chapter 11 though, look for something very different in Chapter 12 and a couple afterwards. I dunno if you guys will like it, but its something I've got to do, and I think its a really good way for me to keep the story rolling.

Thanks again everyone for all the kind words.

  • 02.22.2005 8:21 PM PDT
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You've got the literary skills of an accredited author good sir.

Your chapters give us a full meal, yet always leave us with a hunger for more.

I was a little worried that the Arbiter was a tad out of character, but this is a story of emotion, and the amount of trauma he has gone through is staggering. You've captured his essence like no other. Keep up the good work.

  • 02.22.2005 9:17 PM PDT
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I've gotten a few PM's and e-mails with a certain question I thought I'd address right now.

Since I have stated there isn't any romance going on between Jan and the Master Chief, just what do I view there relationship as?

In truth, I started writing this story with the preset thought that I'd work a relationship in as them just being close friends, but I've evolved that outlook and right now I'm looking over the story, and from what I see, their relationship is best defined as a kind of Father/Daughter relationship.

Think about it, Jan's dad is killed during the ilovebees fiasco, and her mom is hardly much of a factor in her life at the moment. She's got a case of hero worship going for our Mjolnir-clad Spartan.

As for the Chief, he's under the impression that every other Spartan is dead (he doesn't know Fred, Will, and Linda survived the Malta and Athens destruction) aside from Kelly, who Dr. Halsey has taken and dissapeared. His close friendship with Cortana and Sergeant Johnson can only go so far, and I can see the Chief having a kind of paternal set of feelings for Jan. He's in his 40's mind you, and he's already spent most of his life feeling protective over mankind, I wouldn't doubt those feelings would be transferred over to Jan.

So, there ya go. Hope that answers everybodies questions regarding those two.

  • 02.22.2005 11:27 PM PDT

I shall cut into 343 Industries Headquarters, retrieve the Halo Bible and burn any 343 Industries employee that stands in my way.

Grand Hierarch of the Covenant Elite Community!

A good chapter as usual.

  • 02.23.2005 2:13 AM PDT
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I love writting stories... but about dragons and draconians, hence my name :P I havn't finished reading all of it but its real nice...it wouldn't be surprising if Bungie published some of them lol :D

PS--I knew that MC was getting old but hes 40?! whao

[Edited on 2/23/2005 5:48:49 AM]

  • 02.23.2005 5:41 AM PDT