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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
  • Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
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You think chapter 7 sucked?

Blasphemy! Your writings as good as published authors. Sure your not making any money out of it right now, but someday your abilities are gonna make you famous.

  • 02.07.2005 9:18 PM PDT
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ya man, chp 7 was awsome. it was short but still, it was great.

you shuld put some more arby in teh next chappie

  • 02.07.2005 11:54 PM PDT
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exelent, wonderful work.

  • 02.08.2005 2:18 AM PDT
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Hey wen u get famous can u keep ur name as mr clark on the front of the book:P awesum stroy sgt johnson rocks. Ur way better then sir. WAY better

  • 02.08.2005 4:26 AM PDT
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That would certainly be an interesting idea. I don't think I've ever seen anybody with a pseudonym where they actually have 'Mr.' in the name.

Edit: Ah, my avatar has dissapeared once again.

[Edited on 2/8/2005 10:00:38 AM]

  • 02.08.2005 8:04 AM PDT
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man this is a great story, way better than sir_brilliants, you've kept me hooked all the way through

  • 02.08.2005 9:28 AM PDT
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the only thing i have to say about ur book is....excellent ...the way mr burns in the simpsons says it so thats a compliment! a big one!

  • 02.08.2005 12:07 PM PDT

TWP - Assistant Director
Blade Runner: #00124A
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well well well....
Chapter 7.... you say it sucked?? My friend let me tell you, you are writing a story with characters. Let me rephrase that: You are writing a story with FORCE! Chapter 7 created something wonderful between Chief and Jan, even though nothing major happened. There interaction is growing and this one scene, him thinking and starring at Jan... classic.

A story is only as good as the characters within it. Not the hand that writes it.

Even Stephen King has written crap. That whole scene with Jan and Chief was a great character builder, and I loved it. And the scene with Johnson... I was taken back for a second: [color=orange]"Johnson showing fear?? How Dare he?!!?? This man fears nothing!!"[/color] Was what I first thought but then I read more, the struggle in his head to regain his own sense of fear! BRILLIANT!!

ok... I need to find something bad to say, gotta critique this work.. now, before the praise goes to your head....
....
...
... The chapter was too short.. yeah, that's it! To damn short... how dare you? Write more... yeah! Now.. but don't rush it. Take your time. But write more in the chapters! Arrgggh.

LMAO, just kiddin. Great stuff. Can't wait for the rest. :D

  • 02.08.2005 12:10 PM PDT
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Hmm, something tells me from the replys in here, and the amount of PM's I got, badmouthing chapter 7 was akin to announcing that I'm going to turn Cortana into a human and have her and the Arbiter fall in love.

All scary images aside, you guys are great. Chapter 8 is coming along nicely, up to 4 pages right now, so I'm about halfway. The release is still tentatively scheduled for Thursday.

I think I've found out a better way to deal with the PM situation. Once I'm ready to post the chapter I'll send the PM's out first, with the link to the page that will have the chapter, as well as the exact time, according to Bungie's time system, that I'll put it up.

That should work, and if it doesn't, I'll have to sneakily come up with a new method.

Also, I'd like to note that I'm quite proud of you guys. So far, there hasn't been any useless posts that exist simply for the sake of bumping this thread up. I know, looking at the other threads, there have been pages upon pages of bumps that exist simply for the sake of keeping the thread on the front page.

I'd hardly say its necessary to keep these stories on the front page all the time, especially at the sake of the story itself, burrying it deep in pages. That's always a risk, but once I progress, and maybe when this thread surpasses the 10 page mark, I'll edit my first post and list which chapters are on which page so that its not difficult for others to find the story.

So once again, no need to worry about this thread falling into the dark depths of this forum. Whenever I've got something to say or I'm putting up a new chapter I'll risk the dark terrors of the abyss and drag this thread back up to the top.

I'm not being a terrible dictator here, I'm not even setting down ground rules, I'm just saying that I'm proud of the, dare I say, sophistication of the replies around here.

  • 02.08.2005 2:33 PM PDT
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true dat, mr. c

  • 02.08.2005 3:18 PM PDT
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Posted by: El_Gigante
true dat, mr. c


What was that about sophistication?

jk. I have to agree with you Clark. Those other threads are disgusting with the amount of crap in them, and even worse the guys writing the stories actually want the people that read their, nowhere near as good as your, stories to keep them bumped to the first page, despite the conversations range from inane, to just plain stupid.

You have to be the most mature person in these forums, and considering your only 18, that's quite a feat.

If any of these fanfic threads deserve to be bumped or stickied, it would have to be yours. Not just because this story is probably the best piece of fanfiction that actually exists for Halo, but also cause you follow the forum rules to a T.

I applaud you.

  • 02.08.2005 5:51 PM PDT
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WOW. Thats about the only word I can say after reading this. I've read all 7 chapters during class at school and it has sure kept me glued in. This is amazing stuff Mr. Clark. Wonderful work and keep it up. The only bad part about this is that if Bungie chooses to make the story different when Halo 3 comes out. They should just take this and make a game on this. I can't wait to read the next chapters. Awesome job. Way better than Sir Brilliants. Way better. Peace

  • 02.08.2005 5:52 PM PDT
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hey clark i love the stories, im a great fan of all of the three books even though the flood kinda sucked it up a notch, your post is linked to my groups link page and many of our members have checked it out, if your not in a group yet hit us up at the greatest group in the world, OneHundredFirst ODST Div, ive been thinkin about writing some fanfic lately but i wanted to check some out, after looking at yours im amazed and probly goin to post some. one thing that i was dissappointed to see was the lack of mention of the spartans also, i could tell that u were having some trouble adding them in and all but at least a mention would be good. also a kewl thing to add would be your opinion on what happened to Dr. Hasley and kellys secret mission, im thinkin that they went to find CPO Mendez from the star charts that she found, an intro or even a slight clue one the Spartan IIIs would be a definate thumbs up, by the way how old are you from your vocabulary it sounds like your up there quite a ways. i will probly add your gamertag tonight, mines kokiri, ne ways keep up w/ the good work.

  • 02.08.2005 5:57 PM PDT
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The general level of discourse in this thread has so far been much higher than Brilliant's. And that goes beyond flaming to just plain quality of comments and grammar. I mean, I'm finished with reading through eight pages a day of "bump" and "is anyone here?" and "sooo gud, brilliant, u ar rely brilliant wen is ur next chapter?" Hopefully, fingers crossed, this thread won't become like that!

Anyways, I don't think it's fair to say the Flood sucked. Deitz was bound by what went on in the game, so give him a break. The non-game stuff in the Flood may have been the best writing of all three of the books, IMO. Plus, I'm a Deitz fan now b/c he actually personally responded to my e-mail regarding a new Halo book.

[Edited on 2/8/2005 6:10:59 PM]

  • 02.08.2005 6:08 PM PDT
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So far, me and a few fans of you and Halo, are making a book on this and are going to publish it within our town (nothing that wil be used for money, it will be put into paperback and brought around our school ot the kids to see what thay have to say about it). That is how much appreciation the Bungie/Halo community has for ya! Oh and if you would like to come up with a cover for it, PM me and ill give you my AIM so you can send some ideas (we have great people here in Conneticut that can help also [we is die-hard Halo players]).

So keep me (and the stories) posted!

  • 02.08.2005 6:11 PM PDT
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amazing, Johnson is officialy my hero in life

  • 02.08.2005 6:24 PM PDT
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Posted by: CorkedSlipKnot
So far, me and a few fans of you and Halo, are making a book on this and are going to publish it within our town (nothing that wil be used for money, it will be put into paperback and brought around our school ot the kids to see what thay have to say about it). That is how much appreciation the Bungie/Halo community has for ya! Oh and if you would like to come up with a cover for it, PM me and ill give you my AIM so you can send some ideas (we have great people here in Conneticut that can help also [we is die-hard Halo players]).

So keep me (and the stories) posted!


You see this, this is me speechless......

I mean, wow. That is amazing. I actually sat here, for about 10 minutes, staring incomprehensibly at the screen. I am so amazingly honored that your taking the time to do that.

I don't have AIM, but I'm afraid even if I did I couldn't add much to the design of a cover. Artistically I'm about as skilled as a blind rock. But still, seriously, keep me posted on this cause I can honestly say I've never encountered anything like this, in my entire short experiences with writing.

Now that my humbleness is out of the way, I can address a few other things.

Yes, I am only 18 years old. Konoka_chan had it right (you scared me at first but then I remembered you had asked in a PM). I've been writing since, probably around 12 years old, so I've got 6 years experience under my belt, though to be honest, nothing in those first 4 years could be considered note-worthy.

The Spartan situation is really becoming a problem for me. I had originally planned to just keep them in, same with Halsey, but when working out the overall storyline I couldn't really fit them in without the story being overloaded, so I just cut them out completely.

Lately however I've been modifying my original plot and there's almost an inkling that I'm not doing everything I could be doing with it. Whether that turns out to be me breaking out and going nuts, including everything there is that the books started, I can't say just yet. But look towards the future with high hopes at least.

And lastly, for those that want to add my gamertag, go right ahead. My brother had taken my xbox for the weekend, but he has yet to return home, so I'm not too sure when I'll get it back, so if I haven't accepted your friend request just yet, don't think I'm a jerk, the second I get my xbox back I'll add you right away.

  • 02.08.2005 7:25 PM PDT
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Posted by: Mr_Clark
Thanks once again everyone.

Just a side-note to RedWolf:

It actually is In Amber Clad

There are many references to it in the game and there's even a song title on the soundtrack by the same name.


Your right.. my bad man I always thought it was lol.

To make sure this post wasnt spam ill comment a bit. I like the way you have modified Sergeant Johnson's character. You have made him into a character that i have always envisioned but this vision has always been let down by the books and the games. The attitude and immortality of Johnson has made him into what i have always envisioned. Keep up the good work

[Edited on 2/8/2005 9:34:58 PM]

  • 02.08.2005 9:29 PM PDT
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Potential of the other Spartans plus Dr. Halsey showing up? That would make this story about as good as the actual novels, probably better you awesome fellow you.

What about Ackerson? And his dirty secret project he was working on? Are you going to delve into that a little bit?

Anyways, keep up the great work/

  • 02.08.2005 11:27 PM PDT
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You are a master of the craft. the only other one i know that has as good a story as this one is sir_brilliant, and each one of you has a special spin on the story that makes it kick ass

  • 02.09.2005 9:59 AM PDT
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if you add, teh spartians mr. c that make this story the best out of anything on the site.

  • 02.09.2005 6:42 PM PDT
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This is just a reminder to everyone. I should have Chapter 8 out by tomorrow, so look for it then, and those that I'll be PM'ing, remember that I'm doing something different this time around.

Since I'm messaging a crazy amount of people, it'll take awhile, so I'll be PM'ing everyone BEFORE I release the chapter. I'll provide a link and my anticipated time that I'll release it. Depending on when I send your PM it could be anywhere from a half hour, to 10 seconds.

  • 02.09.2005 9:16 PM PDT
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Mr_Clark. Your fanfic is INCREDIBLE. Post it in HBO if you can.

I do have to critize something, though. You talk about the Arbiter's father dieing during the taming of the Hunters. This event, would, presumably, be thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of years ago. I don't know how long Covenant live, but I doubt it would be more than a human.

Nothing further. You ROCK!

-PMSboy

  • 02.10.2005 12:03 AM PDT
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hey well done so far on keeping clutter and random posts from this thread lets try and keep it that way please people remember that you dont need to bump a thread to the top just add the thread to your favorites or put it in your signature so the thread dosnt need to be bumped

and well done to you to mr clark im really impressed considrin your only 18 keep it up

  • 02.10.2005 4:15 AM PDT

Kero 'Zenuree
Officer aboard the Reverence-class cruiser Intangible
Dn'end Legion

Man! This stuff is Gold! Every single word of it! You are getting too good to be true!
Keep up the good work!
Also, love the way you have made Sgt. Johnson into even more of a main character if you know what I mean. Can't wait for next chapter.

  • 02.10.2005 8:37 AM PDT