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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War (CHAPTER 23: Page 171)
  • Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War (CHAPTER 23: Page 171)
Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War (CHAPTER 23: Page 171)
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mediocre!!!...ok calm down...

ok, if you think its mediocre then you need to put a couple examples

i suppose theres always someone who disagrees with everyone, however, usually if the majority of people have the same opinion about something then it is probably true(not in all circumstances!!) and i would say that here the majority of people think this is an ausome story

  • 04.06.2006 2:06 PM PDT

Phoenix is dead, long live Phoenix!
Is it?

I agree.

  • 04.08.2006 3:36 PM PDT

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There's a disturbance in the force.... nope it's just oblivion making us wait longer, and I can't even play it because I don't have a 360, or the game.

*Weeps in corner*

  • 04.08.2006 11:15 PM PDT
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Posted by: Extreme Mjolnir
Mediocre writing at best. Sorry. To many things don't fit. I won't run through then all but "shook the cobwebs from his head" jumps to mind. Certain coments like that don't make sence when talking about the Covenant. That in particular is a very human figure of speach. Keep working on it though. ;)


You proceed from a false assumption; I have no ego to bruise.

Of course, there's no such thing as cobwebs inside Covenant or Elite culture. In fact, the entire species of arachnids don't exist at all. I'm sure everyone caught that press release from Bungie way back. I'm sure my putting it into the chapter was just a typo.

If you wish to insult my writing abilities, you must do so under correct pretences. Otherwise I simply laugh heartily and continue on my merry way.



....110+ hours. Fantastic! Only two achivements left I believe, and I'll be done. So look forward into the future with bright and hopeful eyes.

[Edited on 4/9/2006]

  • 04.09.2006 5:00 AM PDT
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absolutely awesom
YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

  • 04.09.2006 9:37 AM PDT

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Posted by: Mr_Clark
Posted by: Extreme Mjolnir
Mediocre writing at best. Sorry. To many things don't fit. I won't run through then all but "shook the cobwebs from his head" jumps to mind. Certain coments like that don't make sence when talking about the Covenant. That in particular is a very human figure of speach. Keep working on it though. ;)


You proceed from a false assumption; I have no ego to bruise.

Of course, there's no such thing as cobwebs inside Covenant or Elite culture. In fact, the entire species of arachnids don't exist at all. I'm sure everyone caught that press release from Bungie way back. I'm sure my putting it into the chapter was just a typo.

If you wish to insult my writing abilities, you must do so under correct pretences. Otherwise I simply laugh heartily and continue on my merry way.



....110+ hours. Fantastic! Only two achivements left I believe, and I'll be done. So look forward into the future with bright and hopeful eyes.


Just to add to that. The Covenant can speak english. and that in particular is a very human language.

  • 04.09.2006 1:00 PM PDT
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Posted by: Mr_Clark
Posted by: Extreme Mjolnir
Mediocre writing at best. Sorry. To many things don't fit. I won't run through then all but "shook the cobwebs from his head" jumps to mind. Certain coments like that don't make sence when talking about the Covenant. That in particular is a very human figure of speach. Keep working on it though. ;)


You proceed from a false assumption; I have no ego to bruise.

Of course, there's no such thing as cobwebs inside Covenant or Elite culture. In fact, the entire species of arachnids don't exist at all. I'm sure everyone caught that press release from Bungie way back. I'm sure my putting it into the chapter was just a typo.

If you wish to insult my writing abilities, you must do so under correct pretences. Otherwise I simply laugh heartily and continue on my merry way.



....110+ hours. Fantastic! Only two achivements left I believe, and I'll be done. So look forward into the future with bright and hopeful eyes.


pwndizzled

  • 04.09.2006 10:06 PM PDT

Phoenix is dead, long live Phoenix!
Is it?

Any news on the next chapter?
Because its been a while.

[Edited on 4/13/2006]

  • 04.12.2006 8:42 PM PDT
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wow, still no chap, but thats fine i saw the oblivion prevew and it looks sweet, srry i've been gone, out on vacation

  • 04.13.2006 7:42 PM PDT
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i've been reading all MR_CLARKS chapters like about 2 months from now.at that time i didnt want 2 make me account here.but now i dicided 2 make 1.ok well still no chp.but i could wait.

  • 04.14.2006 6:17 PM PDT
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Isn't all writing human?
How can it not be human, species wise, when there is really no other to compare it to?
Just seems rather redundant.

  • 04.15.2006 2:55 PM PDT

Official Town Drunk of Sandwichia. Nation of the Flood.
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Agreed.

  • 04.15.2006 2:59 PM PDT
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i agree with that as well
i suppose until we have alien writing(about 2012)to compare it will stay as it is
besides hes done a good job at it anyway

im sure that he should be finishing constantly playing oblivion soon so we can have a chapter

  • 04.16.2006 9:43 AM PDT
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come on clark you genius fool. Write the damned chapter. I don't care if you like oblivion, what you like doesn't matter to me. I'm more important than you (at least for me) and i like your story, so i want the story.

On a more serious note, i really like your story, but in the name of constructive critisism, you have played around with the characters (well, just MC actually) a little too much. Playing the Halo Games and All the Halo Books, they have created an image of a rock solid unflinching soldier that is scarily emotionless at just about everywhere but the inside. His sentences were always short and decisive. That's sort of what set his character for me. In your story he's....less hard....ish or just more human. (sorry, i probably didn't explain myself very well, but i didn't get a D in English for nothing).

Anyways keep the good stuff coming.

[Edited on 4/17/2006]

  • 04.17.2006 12:53 PM PDT
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Clark is in the hospital again. Therefore he cannot write. Have patience.

  • 04.17.2006 7:44 PM PDT
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NOOOOOOO!!!

Not Ze hospital!

  • 04.17.2006 7:59 PM PDT
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Clark.....why do you do this to us.

Remember: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! jk

Good luck with.....whatever is wrong this time around.

  • 04.17.2006 8:10 PM PDT
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Posted by: LO Stickman
Clark.....why do you do this to us.

Remember: An apple a day keeps the doctor away! jk

Good luck with.....whatever is wrong this time around.

words of wisdom, and clark hope you get better, if any of you get a chance i would reccommend the Circle Series from Ted DeKker (yes his last name does have weird capitol letters) it contains the books Black,Red, and White. if you are religiouse then i all the more urge you on to get these books, here is what they are about (kinda i havn't finished White the last)

Thomas Hunter is a ordinary man who has seemed to unlock a gate way to another reality, in this reality he finds out how the world is going to be wiped out, a virus
In the his first reality he tries to warn all of the virus and ends up actually telling the wronge people about how the virus is formed, while in the other he tries to find out how the reality works, it is completely different than what he is used to, a coloured forest, The Books Of Histories,.

obviously my summery gives a very brief description, there is alot more to it than that, i have spent much of my time reading, but because i'm on vacation time is short, this book is somewhat a hybrid giveing almost a bit of everything, such as action/ romance/ sci-fi ext...
if you read this book you'll find out why my xbl name has Mikil in it

  • 04.18.2006 12:28 AM PDT

Official Town Drunk of Sandwichia. Nation of the Flood.
MBT - Impossible Just Happened
* How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
* If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?

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Posted by: Konoka_chan
Clark is in the hospital again. Therefore he cannot write. Have patience.


What did he do this time?

  • 04.18.2006 12:50 AM PDT
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He forgot to eat his apple.

  • 04.18.2006 6:12 PM PDT
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well, seeing he has so many ailments it could be something else

  • 04.18.2006 8:34 PM PDT

Official Town Drunk of Sandwichia. Nation of the Flood.
MBT - Impossible Just Happened
* How is it that "Fat Chance" and "Slim Chance" mean the same thing?
* If you choke a Smurf, what color will it turn?

XBOX User Space profile

Or it could be he forgot to eat his apple.

  • 04.21.2006 11:40 AM PDT
Subject: Halo Fanfic: The End of a War
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This is much more interesting than other fanfics ive read b4, It is also more realistic because it skips absolutely nothing from what happens at the end of hlo 2, as others do, and i also like that you took the time to show what the soldiers were thinking. Did you get the name "John" from the books, or did u make it up?

  • 04.21.2006 12:56 PM PDT