- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
The following is an alteration of my original post called super-thread. I did my best to improve the spelling, grammar ect. However I am limited to Wordpad as Wordperfect is not functioning right now. So it's not perfect but I tried.
love Timesplitters!!!! Here is my sweet ass argument of why it will be better than Halo 2. First, weapons.
Duel Flare guns, how can you beat it. Seriously I dont think anymore explation on this is needed. The machine gun, no sub-machine gun here. Notice how the smg from Halo 2 sounds like you dropped some poker chips on the floor. PLINK PLINK PLINK!! Holy Crap!! were playing yatzee!! It dosent relie on jibber jabber like, " ohh here is the close range weapon which has -blam!- range even though in real life an smg has effective range of 50-100 m range, e-speacially in the future, god. Ohh battle rifle midranged oh god. " In Timesplitters Guns all fire realisticly, they fire straight but when they are auto machine guns, ect, they arent terribly acurate. And they do duel wielding left in Halo 2. Its like, " I better pick up this weapon because it is perfectly suited to fire with this weapon and if i dont il die a hiel hiel hiel ". They altered the guns to suit each other so now they suck on there own. Try playing no duels its sucks more than a automatic sucking machine on super suck. That is a crap load of suck. The shotgun has a paragrapha plauta too marai on its own because it is so important.
The melee attack from Outerspace. The only reason Timesplitters 2 wasnt as good as Halo is Timesplitters had no melee action jackson or vechicular mojo. With a melee attack that will most likely not take 6 HITS -cough halo 2-. It will totally own your niehbors cat. Whats that kitty? You want some milk? OWNED!!!! Too bad pus sy now pick up your lungs and get outta my sight. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love cats. Well, melee attacking them anyway. But the melee attacking will be deadlier than Darth Vader gangster raping. ( If you've seen the video you know what I'm tialking about)
Reloading is going to be better than -blam!- intercourse. Mostly because I dont have to wait 10 years for Reloading. Oh! Burn to myself! But, ohhhh have you seen the reloading action? I creamed then and there, Halo 2 makes you lightning reload with a single weapon cuz of oohhh DUEL WIELDING OOHHHHHH. And You can't apperciate the artistic value of the reloading animation. But Timesplitters takes a lesson from the first Halo and totally Reloads it all the way to Albequrque. Clip goes in, clip goes out, slide comes back, BAM! BAM! BAM!! Holy -blam!- he's dead!!!
Vechicles will side-walk drive you GTA 2 ice cream truck style. Oh I mentioned this before. Yeah they have em, even a armored pickup truck. Oww burn Warthog. I dont care how many different mithical creatures names the puma imidator has. You can't beat A Pickup truck with sheet metal wielded on and a mini-gun in the back. And with Map maker you can add vehicles in any level, where ever you want and I think As many as 8-16. Lets see you dogde a speeding bus in the hallway of a victorion mansion. Which brings me to my next point. Ohh no jumping(I'm guessing), so it'll be so challenging to dogde vechicles and fun to mow dirty splitters down.
Humor, that little thing Bungie forgot to put in Halo 2. But it was in Halo. Remember Sarge and the Rookie Elite?" This is it, Hold me." Oh Classic. Halo 2 has "Finishing this fight" = NOT CLASSIC!!! SHUT IT CHIEFY!!!! THIS MECH'S BADASS!!! YEAH THE MECH IS BUT GUESS WHAT MASTER YEAST INFECTION?? YOUR NOT!!!! Timesplitters Future Perfect is so full of Humor it's getting all over my rug and leaving stains when i watch the videos. Duckman Drake, Handy Man, The Dinosaur, A girl with SLUT on her T-shirt? Come on that's super amazing awsome tacular. Anyway that brings me to my last and most important point.
The freakin shotgun. Hello lucky first time Halo 2 player, You remember the good ol awsome boomstick of Halo? Of course you do? Who dosent remember that great weapon. Well pick up the halo 2ized shotgun. Holy Butt!!! Welcome to suckville, population you!!! It sucks if your not in uber close range. Its like I half to be giving the guy a enima with the barrel to kill him in any sort of time frame, so I can get the copies done before lunch and go make babies in the janitors closet with Liz from accounting. Its like you threw a hand full of pebbles at Mach one. After 4 metres where the hell did the pellets go? They went went on Vacation To The netherlands, cuz they quit their job of making the game realistic!! Hey i think if a shot gun is acurate enough to shoot and kill Ducks that are more than 20m away( yeah people use shotguns to go duckhunting you foolio) Its acurate enough to hunt and kill Anorexic spartans. In Timesplitters the Shotgun rules more than Stan's pizza!!( oh right you guys dont live here. Oh Burn no pizza fo you!!! You got burned like my genitals after I poured boiling cheese and suace on them.) Its like WOW!! This thing rules!!! I need to -blam!-e!! The bottom line is IF THE SHOTGUN SUCKS THEN THE GAME AINT FAR BEHIND. By the way I like timesplitters, but if you dont thats cool. Except if you Say Timesplitters sucks, then you suck. Halo 2 dosent suck, so admit timesplitters dosent suck you boshabbadoo every teen Mc Foolio. Oh did I mention Timesplitters Future Perfect has THREE shotguns? Thats right pikachu we got another gym bagde,I love you. Three shotguns that will actually be fun and gratifying to use. The shotguns are: the oldschool double barrel with premium oak handle and stock. The tactical practital 12-gauge and the futurismatic dispersion gun. The Dispersion gun fires red energy or something then flips it half to Re-arm, Its pretty cockamammy and by that I mean 9 out of 10 spidey golds think it's awsome.
Anyway if you actually read this thanks and I want you guys to post why you think TS:FP wont be better than Halo 2 and why. And dont just say it sucks. And if you agree with me give me your mailing adress and I'll send you some waffles.
LINKS-
info
tipper
numananamansomething( yeah i stole it you Flamerchu)
Jo-beth
videos
more videos
flare gun!
Double barrel!
temperal uplink( copy of Half life 2 gravity gun)
cool assault rifle
machine gun
hench men
more flare gun
more flare gun
mini-gun
more flare gun
more flare gun
more flare gun