- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
"Uh-oh, ladies and gentlemen! We're under attack by the giant microscopic tar monsters!"
*later on*
"Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen. We're safe now. I scared them off with my nudity. ...Hey, I'm feeling a little aroused. Is anyone down there feeling aroused?"
"Say, I'm feeling a little bit sexy. Does anyone want to meet the captain and feel sexy with him?"
"I do!"
"Meatwad, no!"
"GENTLEMEN! Behold! I have lost weight!"
"Umm...good job! How'd you do it?"
"Well, I cut all sugars out of my diet. Manually!!!!"
*pulls out bloody chainsaw.*
"Now I need to lose 20 more pounds or I'll never be pretty!"