Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Poll [13 votes]: which one do u think is the funniest
  • Poll [13 votes]: which one do u think is the funniest
Subject: everyone post your halo or halo 2 jokes here!!!!
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Poll: which one do u think is the funniest  [closed]
number one joke :  92%
(12 Votes)
number two joke:  8%
(1 Votes)
Total Votes: 13

my 2 jokes are: you play too much halo if the weather man says theres a flood and you run and get ur shotgun
my next one: and if you see a semi truck that says covenant on it and u try running it off the road( theres a trucking company called covenant)

  • 02.11.2005 8:39 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Sorry but these jokes are not orginal. You copied from somewhere because I've seen many many jokes about Halo 2 and 1 in many topic threads before here and in everywhere else too.

  • 02.11.2005 8:43 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

"All hands this is the captain. I have to take a crap. I am ordering all personal to evacuate the mens restroom on the double. I ate too much Taco Bell for Lunch so it's not gonna be an easy ride. Keyes out."



Yes I know that was totally uncalled for and stupid, but I just had a driving urge to say it.

  • 02.11.2005 8:45 PM PDT

._____Metal
/..}-/-{..\
I.X....X.I..... Jets: Check
.T_V_T......Chargers: Check
...****........Colts: -blam!- them....

[color=red]Disclaimer[/color]
The following joke contains religious elements.
You go to a church of a foreign religun and become a believer because they say "Halo."

  • 02.11.2005 8:46 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

... knock knock who's there? me me who? me ::blows your head off with shotgun:: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was the best joke ive ever made.

  • 02.12.2005 10:22 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

I went to the store last night (real quick break from playin Halo)
The cashier guy says, "Hello"
I say, "Halo?! Do you play Halo too?"
Cashier guy, "What?"
Me "Oh, um nothing I thought you said Halo" "Doesn't everyone play Halo?"
Cashier guy, "What are you talkin aboutl?"
Me, "nothin, nevermind"
Me, "Hey whats your gamertag?"
Cashier guy, "My what?"
Me, "your gamertag-don't you have a gamertag?"
Cashier guy, "You owe me $12.75"
Me, " Can I battle you for it? Maybe a little team skirmash?Some head to head?"
Cashier guy, "You really need to leave me alone now, before I call security."
Me, "Thats okay I have my PP in my Pocket"
Cashier guy, "Your what? OMG, thats just gross! What are you talking about? Security!"
Security guy comes over and takes me away as I pull out my game controller and attempt to throw a stickie on him.
Me to Security guy, "Hey whats your gamertag? I like your shiny emblem too!"

[Edited on 2/12/2005 12:09:08 PM]

  • 02.12.2005 12:07 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

halo 2




( sorry my joke doesnt have a punchline really)

  • 02.12.2005 12:31 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Thats okay.
Was my story dumb?
I really thought he said Halo! But the rest Of course I made up, except for the sticky part-I was thinkin-how did he know I was playin Halo?

  • 02.12.2005 1:06 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

A grunt, a Jackal, and an Elite walk into a bar. The Grunt goes up to the bartender and asks the bartender for the strongest shot the bartender has. The bartender asks the grunt what's wrong. The Grunt replies "My boss has been whipping my @$$ all day to hurry and get this new project done." The bartender says he's sorry, and sends the grunt on his way. The Jackal comes up next, and asks for the bartender's strongest, tallest beer. The bartender asks what's wrong, and the Jackal says "My boss has been whipping my @$$ all day to hurry and get this new project done." The bartender says he's sorry, and sends the Jackal on his way. Then the Elite comes up, and asks for his biggest bottle of wine. The Elite takes the bottle, smashes the grunt's head in, and stabs the Jackal to death. The Elite turnes to the bartender and says "I've been trying to kill those guys all day, but my damn whip just encouraged them!"

  • 02.12.2005 2:01 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

I know. It's a lame joke.

  • 02.12.2005 7:22 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Tarturus: Arbiter a storm is about to hit. Arbiter: Your not the weather my Tarturus, so shut the hell up

P.S: I forgot did he tell the Arbiter that, or some other guy.

P.S P.S: Mines prety lame to.

[Edited on 2/12/2005 7:32:06 PM]

  • 02.12.2005 7:30 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

[color=blue] Arbiter:[/color]Come again. [color=red]Tarturus:[/color]" A STORM IS ABOUT TO HIT YOU RETARD!!!." [color=blue]Arbiter:[color=blue] with what, a pine tree. [color=red] Tarturus:[/color] NOOOOOO, never mind Arbiter, good luck (hang up). So much for the Arbiter

  • 02.12.2005 7:46 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

I screwed up, tarturus leters are always suposed to be red

  • 02.12.2005 7:47 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

This happened to me in real life.

A friend told me that because i'm so good at halo 2 is because I don't have a real life.

  • 02.12.2005 7:51 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Look in my seig the second peragraph.

  • 02.12.2005 7:52 PM PDT

those two jokes aren't even funny

  • 02.12.2005 9:02 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: IMABBALLPLAYER
those two jokes aren't even funny


Well, at least your face makes up for the lack of humor.

  • 02.12.2005 9:11 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

After I first bought Halo2 on Nov. 9/2004, during the first break, I was wondering where my family was, and I looked down and to the right, saw that there was no radar, and thought "Man, the host is a cheap son of a bi***.".

^And that's 100% true, but then I started laughing at myself.

  • 02.12.2005 10:17 PM PDT

"Binary its as easy as 1 10 11."
I HATE BABIES!!!
Grammar Cop, and proud of it!
OH NO! SOMEONE PEED IN MY PANTS!
GamerTag: CalabusD

Posted by: Cayote
I went to the store last night (real quick break from playin Halo)
The cashier guy says, "Hello"
I say, "Halo?! Do you play Halo too?"
Cashier guy, "What?"
Me "Oh, um nothing I thought you said Halo" "Doesn't everyone play Halo?"
Cashier guy, "What are you talkin aboutl?"
Me, "nothin, nevermind"
Me, "Hey whats your gamertag?"
Cashier guy, "My what?"
Me, "your gamertag-don't you have a gamertag?"
Cashier guy, "You owe me $12.75"
Me, " Can I battle you for it? Maybe a little team skirmash?Some head to head?"
Cashier guy, "You really need to leave me alone now, before I call security."
Me, "Thats okay I have my PP in my Pocket"
Cashier guy, "Your what? OMG, thats just gross! What are you talking about? Security!"
Security guy comes over and takes me away as I pull out my game controller and attempt to throw a stickie on him.
Me to Security guy, "Hey whats your gamertag? I like your shiny emblem too!"


thx for the laugh

  • 02.13.2005 1:09 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

If grunts breathe methane surely they fart oxygen?







Tiddy boom.

  • 02.13.2005 4:16 AM PDT

Posted by: LotusUp
Posted by: almighty joe
i can stop modders all i need is a combat shotgun and a -blam!-load of airline tickets


Make sure its not the game shotgun because then you might be point blank and not hit anything


You can't spell slaughter without laughter

Gamertag: CAPTAIN NORWAY7

Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: IMABBALLPLAYER
those two jokes aren't even funny


Well, at least your face makes up for the lack of humor.


Buuuuurn....

  • 02.13.2005 6:29 AM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

Posted by: ObbiQuiet
Posted by: IMABBALLPLAYER
those two jokes aren't even funny


Well, at least your face makes up for the lack of humor.


thank god that was funny!

  • 02.13.2005 7:42 AM PDT