- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
The Master Chief collects his instruments of war and proceeds to stealthly approach his enemies. Meanwhile, inside the circle of unsuspecting Covenant....
Jackal 1: "Look at him, gold-shield-wearing, spikey-haired, good-for-nothing Grunt. My god, hes as dirty as the contaminated Mexican soil that he was bred on! He doesnt even speak English."
Jackal 2: "Why does Bravo Squad always get stuck with illegal aliens!?"
Jackal 3: "You better -blam!-can that blasphemy, soldier; you know as well as I do that Bungie created all Jackals equal. Far as I'm concerned, hes my brother... my smelly, grotesquely ugly, ew, but close, yes, very close brother." (Smiles at the Spanish Jackal, but his smile quickly and rudely fades as a queasy feeling overwhelms his stomach due to the extreme extent of the Spanish Jackal's ugliness.) "Yuck!"
Jackal 1: "Since you two are so close, ha ha, why don't you give him a great big brotherly hug, ha ha ha!"
Jackal 3: "Gawd damn, touch him!? Boy, have you gone crazy!? You keep talking like that, and you're gonna make all of us lose our lunch!"
Jackal 2: "Speaking of which, I'm hungry... anyone have any cash for a Double Big Mac. Yeah, i was planning on stopping at McDonald's when we come to Earth. I mean, before we glass the planet, that is, heh heh. You know I'm lovin' it!"
Jackal 3: "You've gone and went straight stupid, haven't you, son! You know that if you step foot on Earth, your ass is the first thing getting glassed. Your are right about one thing: we could use something to eat, but I'm flat broke, too."
Jackal 1: "Guys, pipe down, i think Goldie Locks has something to say"
Spanish Jackal: "Yo tengo no deniro"
Jackal 1: "Well, what a surprise, the poverty-stricken border-jumper has no money! So, if we are all broke, how are we gonna pay the munchies?"
(Frag Grenade lands at the feet of Jackal 2)
Jackal 2: "Guys, we are in luck. I just found one of them new Canadian $100 coins!" (points at the grenade)
Jackal 3: "Oh, that's great... great if y'all are interested in a large Ice Capp from Tim Hortons! Fool, inflation is a beast in Canada! That coin is worth less than six Pesos!"
Jackal 1: "Which is more money than Urine-Shield over here has seen in his whole life. Besides, the Timmy Ho's next to the Map Room doesn't open for another week, at lot of good that is gonna do us."
Jackal 2: "Oh my damn, is inflation really that bad in Cana-"
(Explosion)
Master Chief (to himself): "Yeah, the inflation is" (puts his pinky finger to his lips) "quite lethal!"