Off Topic: The Flood
This topic has moved here: Subject: Describe the poster above you in 3 words.
  • Subject: Describe the poster above you in 3 words.
Subject: Describe the poster above you in 3 words.
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Has no idea.

  • 03.23.2005 11:57 AM PDT
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Very perceptive, lol.

  • 03.23.2005 12:00 PM PDT
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Is hijacking GHOST.

  • 03.23.2005 12:00 PM PDT
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never seen before

damn it i missed again!

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:01:21 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:00 PM PDT
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doesn't like snipers

  • 03.23.2005 12:05 PM PDT
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Likes big women.

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:06:07 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:05 PM PDT
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makes perpetual motion

  • 03.23.2005 12:05 PM PDT
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is very correct

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down.
Therefore, if a slice of toast is strapped to a cat's back, buttered side up, and the animal is then dropped, the two opposing forces will cause it to hover, spinning inches above the ground.
If enough toast-laden felines were used, they could form the basis of a high-speed monorail system.


I've been thinking about this cat/toast business for a while. In the buttered toast case, it's the butter that causes it to land buttered side down - it doesn't have to be toast, the theory works equally well with Jacob's crackers. So to save money you just miss out the toast - and butter the cats.
Also, should there be an imbalance between the effects of cat and butter, there are other substances that have a stronger affinity for carpet. Probability of carpet impact is determined by the following simple formula:
p = s * t(t)/t?
where p is the probability of carpet impact, s is the "stain" value of the toast-covering substance - an indicator of the effectiveness of the toast topping in permanently staining the carpet.
Chicken Tikka Masala, for example, has a very high s value, while the s value of water is zero.
t? and t(t) indicate the tone of the carpet and topping - the value of p being strongly related to the relationship between the color of the carpet and topping, as even chicken tikka masala won't cause a permanent and obvious stain if the carpet is the same color.
So it is obvious that the probability of carpet impact is maximized if you use chicken tikka masala and a white carpet - in fact this combination gives a p value of one, which is the same as the probability of a cat landing on its feet.
Therefore a cat with chicken tikka masala on its back will be certain to hover in mid air, while there could be problems with buttered toast as the toast may fall off the cat, causing a terrible monorail crash resulting in nauseating images of members of the royal family visiting accident victims in hospital, and politicians saying it wouldn't have happened if their party was in power as there would have been more investment in cat-toast glue research.
Therefore it is in the interests not only of public safety but also public sanity if the buttered toast on cats idea is scrapped, to be replaced by a monorail powered by cats smeared with chicken tikka masala floating above a rail made from white shag pile carpet .



[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:16:31 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:07 PM PDT
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makes long posts

  • 03.23.2005 12:07 PM PDT
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eat my shorts

  • 03.23.2005 12:07 PM PDT
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Eat MY shorts.

  • 03.23.2005 12:08 PM PDT
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Also never seen.

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:09:24 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:08 PM PDT

Still misspells patronizing. :p

  • 03.23.2005 12:09 PM PDT
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fan #9 of dave mathews band

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:11:13 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:10 PM PDT

._____Metal
/..}-/-{..\
I.X....X.I..... Jets: Check
.T_V_T......Chargers: Check
...****........Colts: -blam!- them....

Stole Sub's spot.

EDIT: Damn, too late.

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:12:17 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:11 PM PDT
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Rules don't matter.

  • 03.23.2005 12:12 PM PDT
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nope they dont

  • 03.23.2005 12:13 PM PDT
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Every. Third. Post.

  • 03.23.2005 12:14 PM PDT
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yup thats ME!

oops thats 2

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:17:08 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:16 PM PDT
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has no sig

dammit

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:18:45 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:18 PM PDT
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just logged off

  • 03.23.2005 12:19 PM PDT
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Whoa

[Edited on 3/23/2005 12:24:26 PM]

  • 03.23.2005 12:23 PM PDT
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Look who's talking...

  • 03.23.2005 12:30 PM PDT

._____Metal
/..}-/-{..\
I.X....X.I..... Jets: Check
.T_V_T......Chargers: Check
...****........Colts: -blam!- them....

Read the dictionary.

  • 03.23.2005 12:37 PM PDT