Off Topic: The Flood
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  • Subject: LASER WAR #2!!!!!
Subject: LASER WAR #2!!!!!
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seeing killingspree retreated, Halo CMDR quickly runs out of the forest to the edge of the cliff. As the smoke and fog cleared, he stared in amazement, that most of the millions of forces he saw fighting in the expanse of land were forces of oompaloompa. If he were to succeed, he couldn't continue to fight Excommunicado, but to try to at least decrease that massive army of oompaloompa's.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 6:01:49 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 5:58 PM PDT
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Posted by: oompaloompa
after a harsh battle, oompaloompa rises from the smoke with his hydro pusle laser steaming in his hands, "i fear this is only the beginning" he sais in a soft slow voice, 10 trillion troops come out behind him all screaming in victory. trillions lay dead on the planet. *oompaloompa commands army to board there ships and prepare for departure to other worlds. the war of the worlds has ended, the war of the galaxies, has begun, hahahahahahahaha

Dude... Does the word "exxageration" mean anything to you? You may have one this particular battle, but scale down your numbers time and time again. We may be talking in the hundered thousands.

I'll also have you know, I had no troops participate in that particular battle either. It would be prudent for you to note that my forces have never been present in any fray of such proportion. But they exist. They are omnipresent in diffferent psychological ways.

And your friend killingspree is needing your help, hes gotten caught in a battle between me and Halo CMRE (sorry I can't look up your name now to find the true letters). Right now he's wimpering in a cave in a ravine below the battlefield.

  • 06.30.2004 6:04 PM PDT
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*oompaloompa talking to leutenate*
how mech troops do we have left
-956,453,456,234 sir
*how many infantry
-9,123,563,745,235 sir
*how many fighter
-1,365,786,984 sir
* good good, i want them armed and ready for battle by night fall
- yes sir
*there will be no dawn, for men

[Edited on 6/30/2004 6:06:36 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 6:04 PM PDT
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Posted by: Halo CMDR
seeing killingspree retreated, Halo CMDR quickly runs out of the forest to the edge of the cliff. As the smoke and fog cleared, he stared in amazement, that most of the millions of forces he saw fighting in the expanse of land were forces of oompaloompa. If he were to succeed, he couldn't continue to fight Excommunicado, but to try to at least decrease that massive army of oompaloompa's.


Excommunicado realizes that this battle will have to wait for another day- but it will occur nonetheless. Halo CMDR's battle tactics have impressed Excommunicado, and he will honorably take him on as his rival and arch-nemesis. In the mean time, Excommunicado tosses a nerve gas grenade into the cave downwind. He then begins his covert return to the office to finish up on a few things.

Excommunicado realizes oompaloompa seeks to destroy- rather than rule what he wishes to posess, and begins to assemble his legions. I may only have 3 legions, with 25 cohorts each, but remember that Caesar too was greatly outnumbered, and yet he always emerged victorious.

And Excommunicado has developed a most keen equilibrium with all that is shadowed and dark- and evil can only be triumphed by a more sinister form of evil. The battle will commence shortly.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 6:10:49 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 6:07 PM PDT
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oompaloompa throws his giant sword over his shoulder that looks like this

------/\---------
----/iiiii\--------
--/iiiiiiiiii\------
/iiiiiiiiiiiiiii\-----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
----\iiiii/--------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------

and smiles at outer space and sais, prepare yourself, then he walks away quietly to his fortress

  • 06.30.2004 6:13 PM PDT
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Posted by: oompaloompa
oompaloompa throws his giant sword over his shoulder that looks like this

------/\---------
----/iiiii\--------
--/iiiiiiiiii\------
/iiiiiiiiiiiiiii\-----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
----\iiiii/--------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------

and smiles at outer space and sais, prepare yourself, then he walks away quietly to his fortress

Upon examining your sword, I've concluded that it's actually a tree.

As oompaloompa returns to his fortress, he gets the chillng feeling that he's being watched. He hears peculiar noises from on high.

  • 06.30.2004 6:19 PM PDT
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Posted by: Excommunicado
Posted by: oompaloompa
oompaloompa throws his giant sword over his shoulder that looks like this

------/\---------
----/iiiii\--------
--/iiiiiiiiii\------
/iiiiiiiiiiiiiii\-----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil----
----\iiiii/--------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------
-----iiiii---------

and smiles at outer space and sais, prepare yourself, then he walks away quietly to his fortress

Upon examining your sword, I've concluded that it's actually a tree.

As oompaloompa returns to his fortress, he gets the chillng feeling that he's being watched. He hears peculiar noises from on high.


thats the tricky thing, when you think im holding a tree, its actually a 5 ton steal razor sharp weapon rady to slice your head off

  • 06.30.2004 6:20 PM PDT
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Well if you hold that I'll be sure to bring a ranged weapon when I come to fight you.

  • 06.30.2004 6:23 PM PDT
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i hold my sword in my left hand and my pulse lazer rifle in my right, so ill be prepared with a projectile weapon also

  • 06.30.2004 6:25 PM PDT
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Halo CMDR boards the dropship at the base of the cliff, and it takes off, directly away from the massive group of oompaloompa's soldiers. It travels a couple of miles over dense forest to a small, flat expanse of gravel to a medium-sized base. 8 other dropships were parked within the chain-link fence surrounding the base. 2 soldiers patroled around the base, and a sniper was perched on a concrete tower, observing the meadow ahead.

Halo CMDR's forces were small, even compared to Excommunicado's, but with the correct strategy, he could wipe out most of oompaloompa's forces before they could launch off the planet. Halo CMDR's base stored several vehicles; 8 dropships, each with extra armor plating, 6 massive APCs with 20 Archer Missile pods in each, and 8 troop carriers. His max number of troops was 78 though, 2 died in the helicopter crash. Halo CMDR entered a large bunker and thought out a strategy to keep oompaloompa's forces from ever leaving this planet.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 6:41:42 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 6:34 PM PDT
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Posted by: Excommunicado
Posted by: oompaloompa
after a harsh battle, oompaloompa rises from the smoke with his hydro pusle laser steaming in his hands, "i fear this is only the beginning" he sais in a soft slow voice, 10 trillion troops come out behind him all screaming in victory. trillions lay dead on the planet. *oompaloompa commands army to board there ships and prepare for departure to other worlds. the war of the worlds has ended, the war of the galaxies, has begun, hahahahahahahaha

Dude... Does the word "exxageration" mean anything to you? You may have one this particular battle, but scale down your numbers time and time again. We may be talking in the hundered thousands.

I'll also have you know, I had no troops participate in that particular battle either. It would be prudent for you to note that my forces have never been present in any fray of such proportion. But they exist. They are omnipresent in diffferent psychological ways.

And your friend killingspree is needing your help, hes gotten caught in a battle between me and Halo CMRE (sorry I can't look up your name now to find the true letters). Right now he's wimpering in a cave in a ravine below the battlefield.




Killingspree does not not! and I repeat does not cower in fear. After a few seconds killingspree leaves the cave and hears a grenade blow from a distance. He creates a new strategy, which he will not reveal.

  • 06.30.2004 6:38 PM PDT
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And so it seems this particular conflict has concluded for the day, left to be resolved later on.
In retrospect:

Excommunicado, Killingspree, and Halo CMRD escaped the conflict without many losses, but an appetite for destruction yet to whet. Oompaloompa emerges victorious from the macrocostic battle that left many dead and seeks further domination... beyond earth.

The citizens of the world look on to the gripping situation at hand and the warfare to come.

  • 06.30.2004 6:42 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Little do you know, that on a seperate plane of existance, one where sight, sound, touch, smell and taste have no meaning, a dimension beyond comprehension to such living beings as yourself, a new evil lurks. This evil is far more powerful than any army of living. He was slain in battle but arose to fight again. This mighty host of the dead is lead by me, Menace. Touching down on the Living plane of existance only to observe the forces of the Living fight, and to marvel at the great commander Excommunicado's patience and tatical brillance. But even this great leader will fall before the Legions of the Dead.

  • 06.30.2004 6:49 PM PDT
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I am honored by your compliment.

You're just forgetting one very important thing- I have a good secretary.

Bitterness aside- niether of us will rule the world if we do not do something about oompaloompas massive army. He claims there are trillions. Halo CMRD denied me battle to fight oompaloompa's armies. The threat is real.

And how did you die in the first laser war, Pink Menace?

  • 06.30.2004 6:57 PM PDT
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the reasons for million is that i dont take war war as such a thing, it is something that must be delt all at once, to lose a battle and still have an army is foolish, if they beat you before, they will beat you before, that is why my army is in the trillions, because it is every last troop i have.

  • 06.30.2004 7:00 PM PDT
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Ajentkay returns to her rock and says "Thank goodness for scanning."

  • 06.30.2004 7:02 PM PDT
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i apologize for earlier ajentkay, can you forgive me please

  • 06.30.2004 7:03 PM PDT
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Sure

  • 06.30.2004 7:04 PM PDT
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do you accept 600,000 mech troops to protect you while you sleep

  • 06.30.2004 7:05 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

I wasnt in the FIRST lazer war. In this one however, Zeke killed me. He killed all my clones too. So you say this threat is real? We must act. My army is prepared. They number far less then trillions though. However, they are well armed and equipped. The dead are faster and stronger then any living man, but my army alone is still not yet strong enough to defeat trillions of oompaloompas.

  • 06.30.2004 7:05 PM PDT
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I don't need them. No one dares to mess with me or my rock.

  • 06.30.2004 7:06 PM PDT
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Posted by: oompaloompa
the reasons for million is that i dont take war war as such a thing, it is something that must be delt all at once, to lose a battle and still have an army is foolish, if they beat you before, they will beat you before, that is why my army is in the trillions, because it is every last troop i have.


Which concentrates 100% of your influence in one spot. This is a war, not a battle. During a war, combat occurs in several places simultaneously, and to focus your troops all at one spot is foolish. You could get your entire base of operations destroyed.
*Long pause*



And now you have to rebuild it.


There are key points you have to take and hold in a warfare situation. To have the most men isn't as important as strategy and location.

For example- DDay in 1944, Allied troops invade Normandy. The axis powers were entrenched on the beach and had significant cover. As the allies got off of the boats, they were being slaughtered.

Now in this instance, the Allies did use numbers to triumph, and therefore I just argued myself into this big 'ole hole, agreeing that your strategy is actually good. So I will be shutting up.

And your headquarters are still destroyed by the way.


And your strategy is still flawed. Grouping that many troops together in one place leaves them defenseless against splash damage.

Excommunicado prepares his tanker jets with a surplus of nerve gas to dust the oompaloompas.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 7:10:34 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 7:07 PM PDT
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most likely, you have the strength of all the armies put together all nicely rapped in a beutiful organism

  • 06.30.2004 7:08 PM PDT
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There are 2 questionable words in that last post Oompa.

  • 06.30.2004 7:09 PM PDT
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I'm joking of course. *screws up face* my mind's in the gutters I know.

  • 06.30.2004 7:10 PM PDT