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  • Subject: LASER WAR #2!!!!!
Subject: LASER WAR #2!!!!!
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Posted by: Excommunicado
Posted by: oompaloompa
the reasons for million is that i dont take war war as such a thing, it is something that must be delt all at once, to lose a battle and still have an army is foolish, if they beat you before, they will beat you before, that is why my army is in the trillions, because it is every last troop i have.


Which concentrates 100% of your influence in one spot. This is a war, not a battle. During a war, combat occurs in several places simultaneously, and to focus your troops all at one spot is foolish. You could get your entire base of operations destroyed.
*Long pause*



And now you have to rebuild it.


There are key points you have to take and hold in a warfare situation. To have the most men isn't as important as strategy and location.

For example- DDay in 1944, Allied troops invade Normandy. The axis powers were entrenched on the beach and had significant cover. As the allies got off of the boats, they were being slaughtered.

Now in this instance, the Allies did use numbers to triumph, and therefore I just argued myself into this big 'ole hole, agreeing that your strategy is actually good. So I will be shutting up.

And your headquarters are still destroyed by the way.


but it is you who are foolish, my troops have suits that teleport them anywere that is within 123,345,456 mile radius, i can just simply transport troops to a unsuspected planet and wipe them out, so you see, that is no need to divide my troops up into packs
Posted by: Excommunicado
Posted by: oompaloompa
the reasons for million is that i dont take war war as such a thing, it is something that must be delt all at once, to lose a battle and still have an army is foolish, if they beat you before, they will beat you before, that is why my army is in the trillions, because it is every last troop i have.


Which concentrates 100% of your influence in one spot. This is a war, not a battle. During a war, combat occurs in several places simultaneously, and to focus your troops all at one spot is foolish. You could get your entire base of operations destroyed.
*Long pause*



And now you have to rebuild it.


There are key points you have to take and hold in a warfare situation. To have the most men isn't as important as strategy and location.

For example- DDay in 1944, Allied troops invade Normandy. The axis powers were entrenched on the beach and had significant cover. As the allies got off of the boats, they were being slaughtered.

Now in this instance, the Allies did use numbers to triumph, and therefore I just argued myself into this big 'ole hole, agreeing that your strategy is actually good. So I will be shutting up.

And your headquarters are still destroyed by the way.

  • 06.30.2004 7:10 PM PDT
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Hmmmm.... See my previous post I added some things...

I don't believe you about the transporting thing. Thats even more unrealistic than the amount of troops you have. I can see straight through your bluff.

  • 06.30.2004 7:12 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Excommunicado- I beleive the story you were searching for was the story of the spartans. They numbered only 300, and were faced with a great host of 100,000 persian warriors. The Spartans retreated into a small canyon in which there were only two ways in. The spartans fought for days fearlessly, taking thousands of Persians each day. One quote from a Spartan soldier was:

His Spartan commander told of so many arrows that they blocked out the sun. The Spartan replied "Good. Then we can fight in the shade."

All the spartans died, but they left a more then noticeable impression on the Persians, taking tens of thousands of their lives with them.

Does that help?

  • 06.30.2004 7:12 PM PDT
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if you think im bluffing, thenwhy dont you attack earth rite now and find out if you think im bluffing

  • 06.30.2004 7:13 PM PDT
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Ajentkay has to vaccum *blah*. The area around the rock is getting a little dirty. Time to clean up!

  • 06.30.2004 7:14 PM PDT
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can i come help

  • 06.30.2004 7:14 PM PDT
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Nope. It's my task. Farewell.

  • 06.30.2004 7:15 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Also, an answer to the so called "teleporting" oompa speaks of. My warriors can simply sift into a finer plane of existance, where distance does not exist, then sift back into the rough scarred demension of the Living where they please. There are SOME advantages to being dead. One drawback, however, is that we cannot fight for prolonged periods of time as it takes immense concentration for a warrior to traverse through demensions.

  • 06.30.2004 7:16 PM PDT
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"I would really like to continue talking about this conversation but I have to go to the bathroom." (Derek Zoolander)
Actually, I'm going to see Spider Man 2. A possible recruit for my army (Spiderman that is).

  • 06.30.2004 7:24 PM PDT
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because your warriors have no limits, they can skip planets, my plan is to wipe every planet clean of all sentein life, till only my kingdom remains, were my warriors can start families and live in a world without the fear of war or poverty.

  • 06.30.2004 7:25 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

ooooh. A powerful ally he would be.

  • 06.30.2004 7:25 PM PDT
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*Frag Master shows up with his now healed leg and decides to play it Bob Hope style by doing a stand-up routine for the fighters, but he was not expecting Ajentkay to do what she did next. Ajentkay jumped on Frag Master, took off his Mjolnir armor, and raped him like the little son of a -blam!- he is. Then Frag Master gets up and pulls off her helmet to see what she looks like, and it was really Oompaloompa in disguise trying to get some more from him*

AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Not twice in the same day!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*Frag Master runs back to his castle to find a way to get revenge on the now se><-crazed Oompaloompa*

  • 06.30.2004 7:40 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

I breifly send my astrel self down to the Living plane. There I hijack a plant producing IPDB Rifles. (IPDB is Ionic Pulse Discharge Beam) There these wepons were created unknown to all. Once they were complete I warped the plane of the dead around them, carrying them the the Other demension. Thus, my army is now equipped with one of the most deadly wepons in the universe.

  • 06.30.2004 7:41 PM PDT
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Killingspree, you asshead. I'm the equalizer, but I do get POed. Hey Pink... remember how back in the good old days we were allies? Well, now that I'm dead, I want to join up with you undead troops. That OK with you? When killingspree stikes Gimli over the head, his weapon is destroyed. :P Just to tell you, I make random air drops, etc, and now i have a grudge against you. Halo CMDR, you are my friend. I'll make sure to send you goodies when you need them. The reason the air drops are random is because I can't stay on the whole day. Halo CMDR, my Spectre High Velocity Multi-Envirocraft has just dropped some Lotus anti-tank mines for you to secure your location with. I am depositing it one foot below your position, as the subterrainian approach seemed safest. the Mines have thier safeties on, and are not armed. Have fun! Note: I will remotely deactivate them if you use them against Excommunicado, as your fight is honourable to this point. They are intended for use against killingspree.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 7:50:36 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 7:42 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Sure. Go recruit some dudes. Their plenty of unused souls that need molding up here. You can be my Right Hand Man and Advisor of Tatical Situations. Oompa is now our worst enemy. His oompaloompas number in the trillions. Its cool up here because the living cant get to the dimension of the Dead. Basically, they cant hurt our base, which rocks.

  • 06.30.2004 7:44 PM PDT
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This beats Yicknoo-Fred-Section 13-HUMPY by quite a bit. Thanks, man. g2g, now to get recruits. ETR is unsure. (I just made that up. Estimated Time of Return.) Good to be allies again.

[Edited on 6/30/2004 7:53:41 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 7:51 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Excommunicado- you fight well, and I do not wish to start a conflict with you. However, if you try to harm my troops in any way, we will retailiate. HALO CMDR (or w/e) if you are an ally of Gimli, you are an ally of mine. I shall sedn you troops whenever they are needed.



[Edited on 6/30/2004 7:55:39 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 7:54 PM PDT
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who wants to be my ally? Ajentkay? Pink Menace? Anyone?

I think we could make good partners, Ajentkay. Then we can have little children together right away so we have heirs to our leadership responsiblilites for the fleet. With the power of your rock and my midget elvis impersonators (and lots of testosterone) we can conquer the world of Laser War and have many children together! how about it?

  • 06.30.2004 7:57 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Yo Frag. If you stop all that talk about having little kids over the forums, i wont be your enemy. I cant totally ally you, as you can never get to my base. I will not attack you though. Dead Mans Promise.

  • 06.30.2004 7:59 PM PDT
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Posted by: Pink Menace
Yo Frag. If you stop all that talk about having little kids over the forums, i wont be your enemy. I cant totally ally you, as you can never get to my base. I will not attack you though. Dead Mans Promise.


nonsense. the midget elvis impersonators can take me wherever I want to go. but I must pass my genes on to another leader someday, and we need a rock to stay at, so why not just side with Ajentkay?

  • 06.30.2004 8:01 PM PDT
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suddenly, ballistics343 burst once more onto the scene, appearing bloody and bruised through the holes in his oh-so-cool black-and-white mojonlir armor. ignoring all traces of the previous conversation, he leaps atop agentk's rock and screams "I HAVE VANQUISHED THE POPCORN-SQUIRREL/PENGUIN MENACE!!!"

he then proceedes to use the captured funds (mostly acorns and krill) to purchase willy wonka's chocolat factory AND nestley, monopolizing the sweetened goodness market. he then holds all forms of candy hostage until everybody bows down in submission to his absolute rule.

this accomplished, he wonders why the heck he is talking in 3rd person.

  • 06.30.2004 8:04 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

because you cant have sex over the internet... and you asked if I wanted to be your ally. Now you turn me down? From this day forth (unless I change my mind) you shall be a mortal enemy of the House Menace of the Other Dimension!

  • 06.30.2004 8:05 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

Hah! I will never bow down for two reasons;

A. Since I'm dead, I cant eat so your candy embargo has no effect on me
B. I dont like you

[Edited on 6/30/2004 8:07:52 PM]

  • 06.30.2004 8:07 PM PDT
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Sure I can have sex over the internet. The midget elvis impersonators make it all possible, regardless of space or time...

Oh, sure. I forgot. I will be your ally.

*Frag Master and Pink Menace shake hands and immediately start plotting the downfall of others*

just dont mind me if I find a first lady, though. (wink, wink, Ajentkay)

  • 06.30.2004 8:07 PM PDT

It was a cold day near the southern base in Blood Gulch. Cortana and I were relaxing over a game of Go Fish, WHEN OUT OF NO WHERE 700 BANSHEES CAME FLYING IN!!! I GRABED MY SPARTAN LASER AND LET HELL REIGN DOWN UPON THEM. I HOPPED IN THE NEAREST WARTHOG AND TOLD CORTANA TO GET IN.

jeez. I hope this isnt the start of some hideously repulsive love triangle between a Frag, Akentjay and Elvis Impersionaters.

  • 06.30.2004 8:10 PM PDT