- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
Posted by: Nedus
im gonna put this on HBO once i edit some things. any suggestions Hikaru??
Yes. I have a few.
First off make mulitple paragraphs. People will complain about it being one paragraph, and many won't even read it.
Secondly make it longer with more battle field detail. Here is an example that I like using.
" The medic rushed over to the wounded soldier that was on the ground. There was a small pool of blood that was on and around the ash stained soldier. A smell of rotting decay was heavy in the air around the injured man. The medic immediately found the wound. There was a large spot of burnt flesh with thick red blood pouring out of it.
He applied presure and the wounded marine screamed in pain. The medic kept applying presure with one hand as he tried to grab a canister of biofoam. His hands were slick with red blood and began to shake against the fidgeting marine. He popped the top off of the biofoam canister and forced it into the wound. "
Stuff like that. The readers want a vivd description of what's going on. And make sure you run a spell checker before hand as well. I aslo recommend using the HTML HBO uses.