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  • Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

Eat it

Uh, you don't even know what the story is going to be, how the hell could you even approach writing a prologue?

  • 11.02.2008 4:44 PM PDT
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it appears you have fallen into a sarchasm...
its the gap between someone making a sarcastic comment, and you picking up on that sarcasm...

stfu this is great writing *studio audience applause*

  • 11.02.2008 4:45 PM PDT

Oh my, oh my. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? NO it's a GARGANTUAN WALL OF TEXT. Which possible birds and planes crashed into.

  • 11.02.2008 4:46 PM PDT
Subject: [Story] Memoirs of an ODST (Part 26 now available)

Thanks I guess.

[Edited on 04.19.2009 10:49 PM PDT]

  • 11.02.2008 4:47 PM PDT
Subject: [Story] Memoirs of an ODST (Complete) ~ Book I in the Memoirs trilogy

Part 2 - Enrolment

Even as we were just emerging out of slip space, officers were parading around the bridge asking for volunteers to the UNSC marine corps. They managed to convince many of the colonists, and soon, the room was full of people signing papers swearing allegiance to earth and all of her colonies.

I hesitated for a moment, and then also stepped forward to the makeshift enrolment booths. A marine noticed me, and walked towards me, the enslaving papers in hands. "Can I help you son?" the heavily armoured man said between a smoking cigar.

"Are you here to sign up?" he queried,

"Y-yes sir", I replied, stumbling over my words.

"Hmm..." the man mused "Well, you look like you'd make a good soldier, you've gotta good, strong build, tell me son, how old are you, in earth years I mean."

He said this last part due to the fact that a harvest year passes 2/3 slower than an earth year.

"18 sir," I lied.

"Well, usually we'd run checks on you, make sure you're tellin' the truth and all that, but under these circumstances, we don't have time for that. Now, are you sure you want this son? The life of a soldier isn't as glorious as the adverts claim it is."

He spoke this last part slowly, as if to drum it into my very skull.

"Yes sir", I replied, "please sir, who are those marines in the black armour?" I spoke out of curiosity, anxious to know who had stopped me from running away, and most likely, saved my life.

A shadow crossed over the marines face. "Oh, you don't want nothin' to do with them son, they're what you call ODST marines, or 'hell jumpers' as the rest of us normal soldiers call them. They are the ones who, when battle calls, answer it with a hell of a lot of gunfire. Their actions decide a battle, they are the elite, they are the ones who kill the majority of our enemies in battle; yet they are the ones who die in battle too....".

He spoke this last sentence solemnly, as if even the mention of them saddened him to the bone. I pondered what he had just said, they kill the most in battle, yet they die the most in battle....well, if I was gonna die, I might as well take a few of those alien creatures to hell with me...

"Please sir, where would one go if they wanted to join these 'ODST's'?" the marine looked shocked, and quickly protested

"Son, in the brief time I've known you, I've summarised that you seem like a nice lad, don't waste your life with them, you'll be--"

"Please sir", I interrupted, "It's what I want to do, and no amount of persuading on your part will convince me otherwise" the soldier looked like he was going to protest again, then resigned, and mutely pointed to a booth on the far side of the room.

"Thank you," I softly said to him, and walked towards the ODST's, to my destiny. As I was walking across the room, I faintly heard the soldier say

"Good luck!", then mutter to himself, "You're going to need it......"

[Edited on 10.25.2009 7:42 AM PDT]

  • 11.02.2008 4:48 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

China called.........


They don't want their wall back because it's so huge it blocks out the sun.

  • 11.02.2008 4:49 PM PDT
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it appears you have fallen into a sarchasm...
its the gap between someone making a sarcastic comment, and you picking up on that sarcasm...

STFU people, i can tell he put a lot of effort into this...
this is why didigtalph33r closed down his forums, no one gives him respect for his work, just crap...

[Edited on 11.02.2008 4:51 PM PST]

  • 11.02.2008 4:50 PM PDT

I'm sorry I kind of feel like a jerk for posting that. I'll sincerely read it now.

  • 11.02.2008 4:51 PM PDT
Subject: [Story] Memoirs of an ODST (Part 36 available!) ~ 20/09

Ah, such pleasant people.


[Edited on 09.19.2009 5:08 PM PDT]

  • 11.02.2008 4:52 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

im not creative enough to have a nice bio

really nice writing i could never write something like this

  • 11.02.2008 4:56 PM PDT

Eat it

Your prologue wasn't even attached when I replied. I'm not belittling your writing abilities or creativity, I'm just saying if you're going to put some hard work into it, why not make it something that can last, and not just be considered obsolete right when the game is released?

  • 11.02.2008 4:58 PM PDT
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Can you add a love scene with Miranda Keyes? Make sure to talk about her boobies and such.

  • 11.02.2008 4:59 PM PDT

Wow. Nice writing.

  • 11.02.2008 4:59 PM PDT
Subject: [Story] Memoirs of an ODST (Complete) ~ Book I

is it possible to add a poll once a topic has been submitted? because i want some real statistics on whether you like it or not.

[Edited on 03.30.2010 6:46 AM PDT]

  • 11.02.2008 4:59 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

Can't you just edit the original post?

  • 11.02.2008 5:03 PM PDT

Posted by: Omelet Pants
Can you add a love scene with Miranda Keyes? Make sure to talk about her boobies and such.


please, don't taint this thread with rubbish like that, if you want scenes like that, write your own story

  • 11.02.2008 5:04 PM PDT
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Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: Omelet Pants
Can you add a love scene with Miranda Keyes? Make sure to talk about her boobies and such.


please, don't taint this thread with rubbish like that, if you want scenes like that, write your own story

But I'm not a good writer. And you should know that a naked love scene would attract more people.

  • 11.02.2008 5:07 PM PDT

Posted by: Omelet Pants
Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: Omelet Pants
Can you add a love scene with Miranda Keyes? Make sure to talk about her boobies and such.


please, don't taint this thread with rubbish like that, if you want scenes like that, write your own story

But I'm not a good writer. And you should know that a naked love scene would attract more people.


please, i have only just started, what do you want, a 15 year old recruit stumbling into a janinters closet with a women in one hand and an oversized gun in another? please.

  • 11.02.2008 5:10 PM PDT

I second the Miranda scene.

  • 11.02.2008 5:12 PM PDT

ur character needs to stick to one type of vocabulary. is he a casual guy with a drawl who lives with his "ma and pa?" or is he a well read guy who says things like "shiny metallic elements?" just stick to one or the other

i also noticed that you have a problem that i used to have in writing. you get really involved into this world that ur talking about and you have your character talk about everyday things in his life that are extremely odd in ours. obviously you know the background and the lay of the land and that kind of stuff, but the reader is seeing this for the first time and may have trouble relating and connecting to this world that you pulled out of your head and put on paper. add a little background information on things that the reader may find out of place, or different from their own lives

[Edited on 11.02.2008 5:18 PM PST]

  • 11.02.2008 5:12 PM PDT
  • gamertag: rex131
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-=PH=-

Good day. I'm an active and fairly enthusiastic member of the Bungie fan-base and pride myself on many qualities. If you want to send me a PM, go right ahead. No I won't spam your inbox with group invites, I will respond in the best way possible. Thank you, and as I had opened, I'll close - good day.


Rex131, PHaNToM1325, TheKiNG1325, TheRoadrunner13, PainedHope13

wow dude, 13? hell im 14 and i dream of becoming a writer, and i go to a pretty damn good school, yet the imagery you use here is phenomenal. love the way you wrote it man, and stop giving him crap guys; climb the wall first and find out what's on the other side... you'll like it.

just some things, agreed with above poster, you should maybe put "ma' and pa'" into quotes to show what he used to call them, or what most other people called their parents. also, some words/phrases kind of tip it off balance, like how he was so well educated with the dual plasma canons and such

[Edited on 11.02.2008 5:15 PM PST]

  • 11.02.2008 5:12 PM PDT
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Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: Omelet Pants
Posted by: Wolverfrog
Posted by: Omelet Pants
Can you add a love scene with Miranda Keyes? Make sure to talk about her boobies and such.


please, don't taint this thread with rubbish like that, if you want scenes like that, write your own story

But I'm not a good writer. And you should know that a naked love scene would attract more people.


please, i have only just started, what do you want, a 15 year old recruit stumbling into a janinters closet with a women in one hand and an oversized gun in another? please.

No, that would be kind of cheesy. Maybe something like Master Chief coming back from a bloody battle and Miranda comforts him by making love to him. But I'll leave that up to you.

  • 11.02.2008 5:16 PM PDT

I applaud this great writing. I enjoyed it.

  • 11.02.2008 5:17 PM PDT

Posted by: PainedHope13
wow dude, 13? hell im 14 and i dream of becoming a writer, and i go to a pretty damn good school, yet the imagery you use here is phenomenal. love the way you wrote it man, and stop giving him crap guys; climb the wall first and find out what's on the other side... you'll like it.

just some things, agreed with above poster, you should maybe put "ma' and pa'" into quotes to show what he used to call them, or what most other people called their parents. also, some words/phrases kind of tip it off balance, like how he was so well educated with the dual plasma canons and such


hmm...ye, i can see what you mean, tell you what, i shall edit it and make him more sophisticated, rather than a yokel/aristocrat hybrid lol. but for now, i have to go to sleep.

oh, by the way, i have started part 3, and shall have it up tommorow, sometime after school, gmt + 0.00, night

  • 11.02.2008 5:18 PM PDT

CHECK MY PIC NEEL BOFORE ME

good use of covanent description
Posted by: PainedHope13
wow dude, 13? hell im 14 and i dream of becoming a writer, and i go to a pretty damn good school, yet the imagery you use here is phenomenal. love the way you wrote it man, and stop giving him crap guys; climb the wall first and find out what's on the other side... you'll like it.

just some things, agreed with above poster, you should maybe put "ma' and pa'" into quotes to show what he used to call them, or what most other people called their parents. also, some words/phrases kind of tip it off balance, like how he was so well educated with the dual plasma canons and such
and its the 30th century there all smart

  • 11.02.2008 5:21 PM PDT