- Gr33n Knight
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- Exalted Heroic Member
Posted by: DataBase90
Posted by: Wolverfrog
In the data centre, Blade sat by the bomb, laughing as the waves of Covenant walked up the stairs arrogantly. An Elite ordained in golden armour with silver t-blam!-s stood over him.
What does that blam mean?? I want to know what word that is!I was wondering the exact same thing.
But yeah, I just read it, and, aside from a bunch of grammar errors (their instead of there, to instead of too, etc.), it was quite good. A few of the dialogue lines seem a bit cheesy, and I don't know if "Holy Crap" is enough in the stressful situations in the story, but I myself suck at dialogue when I write. However, seeing stuff like this written by normal people pushes me even further to write my own fan fiction.
Overall, great story and I look forward to reading the sequels (you did say trilogy, right?). I'm really glad I just found and read this book, and I'm confident that with a little grammar improvement, you could be a truly talented writer.