The Gallery
This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo 3:Recon- the prologue....written in first person!! - part 4 ou...
  • Subject: Halo 3:Recon- the prologue....written in first person!! - part 4 ou...
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

Posted by: Stelios010
My advice is to not make it a prologue, but a whole new story involving your own ODST trooper. Not bad at all.


i'm not too sure, because one of the appealing factors to this is that it gives us some background the the mystery ODST (hey, i know it's fictional, but isn't every halo book, it may be approved by bungie, but that doesn't mean that they came up with the story line), also, i'm sort of building up to the events of new mombassa, but if enough people want it your way, then i'll revise it

  • 11.04.2008 2:23 PM PDT

I realize that, but it would be dissheartening for me as a reader to like the character you have worked hard to devlope until Bungie releases the game to find something we may like more or less. Keeping it seperate alows the reader to enjoy both without any conflicts of intereast.

  • 11.04.2008 2:26 PM PDT

Posted by: Stelios010
I realize that, but it would be dissheartening for me as a reader to like the character you have worked hard to devlope until Bungie releases the game to find something we may like more or less. Keeping it seperate alows the reader to enjoy both without any conflicts of intereast.


hey, it's bungie's job to make the character someone we feel for, not mine. i'm just writing a story, and am enjoying doing so.

  • 11.04.2008 2:29 PM PDT

lol I ment no dissrespect, I just see somthing you could develope beyond bungies limitations.

  • 11.04.2008 2:30 PM PDT

very good so far, just a few errors and such....paragraphs would be nice, and you have to start them when a new person talks...also capitalize Switch's name. as for the main character...good so far, although i do find it a stretch that he would be allowed to go on a covert ops mission that relies on drills and tactics that would have been trained hundreds of times in boot camp...but on the whole good job. as for a name, perhaps Noob? lol jk but what about Farmer? it doesnt sound very proffessional sure but i could see the squad calling him that.

  • 11.04.2008 2:38 PM PDT

Posted by: VADER117
very good so far, just a few errors and such....paragraphs would be nice, and you have to start them when a new person talks...also capitalize Switch's name. as for the main character...good so far, although i do find it a stretch that he would be allowed to go on a covert ops mission that relies on drills and tactics that would have been trained hundreds of times in boot camp...but on the whole good job. as for a name, perhaps Noob? lol jk but what about Farmer? it doesnt sound very proffessional sure but i could see the squad calling him that.


yeah, that's quite a good suggestion for a name, thanks, any others people?

  • 11.04.2008 2:40 PM PDT
Subject: Halo 3:Recon- the prologue....written in first person!! - part 4 ou...
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

you deserve the special thing that must not be mentioned

  • 11.04.2008 2:48 PM PDT

"Nothing is True, Everything is Permited."

Ok first of all I think you are a great writer and you have come up with an interesting story. However, there are some minor things missing. This story is really good, but your pushing the action into it a little too fast. It would be a hell of a lot better if you would just develop the characters more. Also, the part where the guy is learning about the Battle Rifle is fishy. It goes like "Ok here is a battle rifle this is what it does" Bam! covenant attack, time for your training(against live aliens). It leaves you asking questions. "Has this guy ever had any millitary experience aside from watching marines on Harvest?" and " Has he even fired a gun before?" And this is where character development comes in. If you develop your character then we aren't left with these big questions.
This is not meant to sound mean in any way. This is constructive criticism and I hope you get something out of this that you can use in future stories.

  • 11.04.2008 2:55 PM PDT
  • gamertag: [none]
  • user homepage:

You still haven't added a love scene with Miranda Keyes. It would make your story so much better. Make sure you talk about her cute butt (which you can see on the level Crow's Nest).

  • 11.04.2008 6:19 PM PDT

lol at omelet pant. that would be good. and for another name, maybe wolf or lone wolf or something like that? idk. and yea wat that other guy was sayin is the same thing i was: hes not realistically gonna get sent on a spec ops mission 30 min after signing up. at BEST he MIGHT have been able to fight w/ regular troops. i mean, say u were on a battleship, with regular marines and then some navy SEALs. even if u "signed up" somehow on the ship with the SEALs, theres no way there gonna let you come with them on high risk high priorty mission. you could get them all killed. once again good story; not trying to criticize but jst m humble opinion

  • 11.05.2008 5:59 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

thats alot of words...

  • 11.05.2008 6:01 PM PDT

"Si Vis Pacem, Parabellum"

this is very good story and if bungie can hearz me "i think he can haz R****"

  • 11.05.2008 6:23 PM PDT
Subject: Halo 3:Recon- the prologue....written in first person!! - part 4 ou...

Posted by: Great_Pretender
Case and point: don't worry about it. Girls start getting boobies pretty soon, and then you'll have plenty of other things to think about. Being an Inheritor is not a life goal.
-TGP-

Wow........

Is this about the marine from the Halo 3 Recon Trailer?

  • 11.05.2008 6:36 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

No idea about a codename. But you should since you came up with Switch and Blade... Anyway, great part. I can't wait for the others to show up!

  • 11.08.2008 7:40 PM PDT

Your story is pretty good, we need things like this to fill up the space between Friday updates. Keep up the good work.

  • 11.08.2008 7:54 PM PDT

Posted by: VADER117
very good so far, just a few errors and such....paragraphs would be nice, and you have to start them when a new person talks...also capitalize Switch's name. as for the main character...good so far, although i do find it a stretch that he would be allowed to go on a covert ops mission that relies on drills and tactics that would have been trained hundreds of times in boot camp...but on the whole good job. as for a name, perhaps Noob? lol jk but what about Farmer? it doesnt sound very proffessional sure but i could see the squad calling him that.


Going off of that Weed, Cropman, Cropduster, Duster, Dusty or since he's young Shorty or Midget.

[Edited on 11.08.2008 8:10 PM PST]

  • 11.08.2008 8:07 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

I'm sorry to say this big giant wall of text, is nothing close to entertaining.
Your descriptions are weak and simplistic...
Study your English!

  • 11.08.2008 8:16 PM PDT

cmon man give the kid a break. i dont see you writing anything better. could it use some work? sure it could but its ok dude, hes doing his best. he said he was wat, 13? you couldnt do that when you were 13....anyway OP, dont listen to him, and keep up the good work. keep us updated on when the next part is coming
whoever i directed this post at left...i think?

[Edited on 11.10.2008 5:33 PM PST]

  • 11.09.2008 5:57 PM PDT
  • gamertag:
  • user homepage:
  • last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT

freikin awesome dude i just wanna read more lol

  • 11.09.2008 6:21 PM PDT

More parts plz.

  • 11.10.2008 4:47 PM PDT

sorry i havn't posted any parts recently, i've been addicted to matchmaking for some reason. anyway, part 5 should be up tomorrow, or maybe even earlier...watch this space

  • 11.12.2008 2:51 PM PDT
Subject: Halo 3:Recon- the prologue....written in first person!! - part 4 ou...

oh no, my microsoft word trial has run out! don't worry though, i am currently downloading openoffice so all should be fine.

update- i have made an account on fanfiction.com to post my story on, but new users cant upload a story for 2 days. once i can though, you'll be able to read the full story on fanfiction. :)

  • 11.12.2008 3:02 PM PDT
Subject: halo 3:recon- the prologue....written in first person!!

AWESOME JOB

but put spaces in for gods sake lol
it will be ALOT easier to read
like enter tabs like this^

[Edited on 11.12.2008 3:07 PM PST]

  • 11.12.2008 3:06 PM PDT