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This topic has moved here: Subject: Story Sharing!! (previously: OK Let me have your honest opinions.)
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Subject: Story Sharing!! (previously: OK Let me have your honest opinions.)

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I just wanted to see if I was literature enabled.

Read my Short Story

-JIM

[Edited on 7/9/2004 7:44:54 AM]

  • 07.04.2004 8:02 PM PDT
Subject: OK Let me have your honest opinions.
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Its good. It sounds like something that would have been put in The Flood.

  • 07.04.2004 8:05 PM PDT

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I wanted it to be set on 004 because of the time lapses evident. They leave a lot of room for side-stories...

  • 07.04.2004 9:24 PM PDT
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its good i really enjoyed readin it it was vey interstin i liked how the elite picked the othere elites stuff it was that extra touch and a lot of minor detalis that made me like it

  • 07.04.2004 10:41 PM PDT

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Groovy, I'm working on the next part of it now.

  • 07.05.2004 5:38 AM PDT
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good story
i liked the details you had, but its really not that hard to write a story when all the characters have been developed, and you already have somewhat of a storyline.
but it IS hard to get it right, which i think that you did

once again, nice job

  • 07.05.2004 7:33 PM PDT

[color=white]Very nice, Jim. Short (you did warn us), but sweet. Will you post the next, or PM it to those of us who've responded positively?[/color]

  • 07.05.2004 7:40 PM PDT

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I will post the next, eventually. However, I'm still a little ponderous about one part of the first story. I put in the part about not reloading, because I know that a lot of people have been in the situation before, but is it something that Master Chief would have done? An innocent stupid mistake?

I'm leaving it that way, but I'll have that little nagging doubt....

  • 07.05.2004 8:16 PM PDT
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well now that i think about it, no thats not something that master chief would have done. he uses these weapons all the time, eventually training would turn into instinct and he would keep the guns in full working condition
but its not that big a deal, and i like it more than if he would have missed, and sides, it sets it up for a sequel.

  • 07.05.2004 8:23 PM PDT

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Well Hindsight is 20/20....

Here as promised, is the draft of the second part, it still requires some proofreading, and I may change minor details. It's like my own little Master Chief serial.


Part the Second

Hope you like it.

  • 07.05.2004 8:45 PM PDT
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very good
but if ur ever goin to get more than 2 or 3 pages, you might want to try describing their surroundings a bit, but not too much so the story still flows.
i also like the part about the master chief taking the plasma rifle, and i dont know if ur asking for story ideas, but try to incoporate a melee attack by either a covenant or master chief in the next part

  • 07.05.2004 9:06 PM PDT

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Uhm, dude... I just got done writing about a--, well you know what, you will see it soon enough. I'll post it tomorrow night, at about midnight Eastern, Or tomorrow morning if I get a brainstorm on where to take it. I want the two to stick around for a while.

  • 07.05.2004 9:11 PM PDT
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lol o ok.. cant wait
but describinbg the scenery more is both pointless and necessary at the same time
everyone knows what the HALO looks like, but u could still stretch out the story without appearing to be wasting time

  • 07.05.2004 9:17 PM PDT

[color=white]Good stuff.
I take it you're operating under the assumption that MC can understand Elite-speak and vice versa? Fine with me--makes the story more accessible.
I find it to be reminiscent of the first Predator movie, but in the Halo universe.
Keep 'em coming![/color]

  • 07.05.2004 9:42 PM PDT
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good story (claps), the ending was great

  • 07.06.2004 6:16 AM PDT
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Great story, you capture the natural arrogance that comes with being the best of the best of the best, (sir!). Even the first half of the first part could have been a short story on its own. Great job!

  • 07.06.2004 7:47 AM PDT
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great story.....really captured the image perfectly, but i somehow was reminded of the 2nd level in halo...lol

but i would hate to mention this but Elite Names are like Zuka Nominee or uka hemonee for example but anyways its a great story, cant wait to read the hunt!

Good job!

  • 07.06.2004 8:29 AM PDT

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Good. This was intended to remind you of that. Part three will go up tonight in some form or another. Probably late as I am at work until 11:30 (Eastern) Thanks for all your compliments!!!

  • 07.06.2004 3:15 PM PDT

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Here is the promised part 3 of the Serial

Part the Third

  • 07.06.2004 7:56 PM PDT
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(claps) you are the official story teller of b.net

  • 07.06.2004 8:04 PM PDT

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I've been up all night.

Part the Fourth

  • 07.06.2004 10:27 PM PDT
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again good job

  • 07.06.2004 11:06 PM PDT

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I had a little trouble with actually ending it.


FIN

  • 07.07.2004 6:55 AM PDT
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Very well done. You should be proud.

  • 07.07.2004 9:44 AM PDT
Subject: A Hunting We Will Go

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I really hoped I would be able to set a scenario off where it didn't conflict with anything, so I never mentioned Cortana, or specific time. This way it can adapt to whatever timeframe you leave open for it.

[Edited on 7/7/2004 10:15:12 PM]

  • 07.07.2004 10:18 AM PDT

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