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This topic has moved here: Subject: Halo 3 Epilogue Story (Part Twenty Now In) see page 35
  • Subject: Halo 3 Epilogue Story (Part Twenty Now In) see page 35
Subject: Halo 3 Epilogue Story (Part Twenty Now In) see page 35

Cheers Wolverfrog. I've tried twice before, but it came to nothing.

Thanks Nuns, but all I really want them to do is turn around and say either "We like it Max, it really is in keeping with the whole Halo universe, but it won't become the next game."
or
"No it's pants and please stop writing."

I'd just like to know one way or the other. I just want to hear their opinion. I'm not asking to be hired as a writer (although that would be a dream come true), I just want to hear what they have to say about it, and what they think of the whole fanfic thing.

I would be surprised if they hired me to be honest. I have no writing portfolio to speak of (apart from some casual writing and this story), and I'm sure they would be a little sceptical or concerned if they hired an unproven writer.
Even though I am writing a novel at the moment, which is coming along nicely, they might consider such a thing a little risky.

The way that I write my Halo parts are quite different to how I write in a more proffessional manner. In the Epilogue story I tend to shorten things, or dilute them a little. This being due to the limit of characters that the thread will allow for each post.
I were to go into far more detail and emphasise the emotional side of things even more, then each part would be more like an entire chapter, taking up a whole page with a wall of text that may be too much for some readers.

These parts are meant to be a more relaxed and casual read for those who like diving into the Halo universe from time to time. But more than that, I just like to write.

  • 02.05.2009 5:46 AM PDT

I think you have the potential to go far, you should start writing down some plot ideas for your own story. You don't need experience to be an author, why, J.K Rowling was just an ordinary person working on an idea, and these days, she is hailed as one of the greatest fiction writers around.

I say go for it. My writing is ok, but I doubt it will ever go beyond this forum. But you can go far.

  • 02.05.2009 6:11 AM PDT

Just remember Wolverfrog, when I first started writing, my stories were rubbish and the punctuation was dreadful.
But then I had another go at English at the age of 33 and quickly discovered that everything that I had learned at school was a load of rubbish.
My punctuation and writing quickly improved, which lead to several short stories that were a lot easier to read. My final course work even had short science fiction story in it.

My tutor even said that my writing was lively and colourful, but lacked the correct punctuation. So I corrected this.
You won't get it right everytime, but if you practice often enough, and put your heart and soul into a story, then you'll eventually turn out some truely great stuff. So keep at it.

[Edited on 02.05.2009 10:55 AM PST]

  • 02.05.2009 6:54 AM PDT

Here's what I actually used for my English work:


Tarrick wandered slowly around the command deck of the Hellgret , its polished Tritium hull reflected the countless years of experience that his features portrayed.
Despite this, Tarrick was an efficient and respected ship commander, and the Hellgret would no doubt add to his already impressive stature.
Around him technicians and operations staff busied themselves with endless combat simulations and weapon diagnostics, which would assure the fleet of victory.
He knew that engaging the enemy with overwhelming force, superior tactics and firepower had been the downfall of many commanders who underestimated their foe. But Tarrick was determined that he would not be one of them.

Tarrick’s enemy was indeed primitive and narrow minded. With a predilection for self- annihilation and murder on a grand scale, they were more than capable of presenting a threat to any unsuspecting and overconfident invader. Their millennia of warfare had created societies that had raised vast armies who constantly fought with one another over scraps of seemingly worthless land and bleak featureless deserts.
But despite their apparent barbarity, Tarrick was fascinated by them. His decades of schooling as a child had shown him that they had a unique grasp of tactics. And even when faced with overwhelming odds, defeat could still be avoided.
One battle in particular that had stayed with him over the years concerned a small group of soldiers armed with just swords, spears and shields. Over the course of a few days they inflicted an unbelievable amount of casualties on an enemy many times their size with little loss of their own. In the end though they were betrayed, surrounded and killed. And it was these historic accounts that captivated him.
Tarrick had encountered many enemies before that were gifted with technology far beyond those in his studies, but their ineptitude in battle and failure to seize any form of initiative had resulted in defeat. Whereas this new enemy were intelligent in more ways than one.

As his crew readied themselves for the coming battle Tarrick gazed at the main display screen at the forward end of the command deck. Its flowing star scene was almost seductive, as millions of observable suns twisted and warped as the nearby space was altered by the ships powerful star-drive.
This technology had been available to his species for over fifty millennia. But Tarrick’s enemy had only recently ventured to the several planets that made up their star-system, and even that was made by autonomous probes launched years before their arrival.
Even this attempt at progress had puzzled him; some were intent on discovery whilst others were more concerned with destruction and death.

The display on the forward screen suddenly changed and Tarrick could feel a shift in the artificially created gravity field from the deck plating. They were slowing.
Before him the image viewer polarized and adapted with the shifting spectrum to exhibit the more familiar scene of stationary starlight.
Tarrick immediately ordered a fleet-wide status report, and at the same time the viewer changed to the lateral sensor array where the previous starlight was replaced by thousands of capital ships, cruisers and fast attack craft all in perfect formation.
At the leading edge of the fleet were point-defence craft. They were tasked with destroying any and all orbital installations around the target, and already they were accelerating ahead of the main fleet to carryout their duty.
The bulk of the fleet was made up from capital ships like the Ascendant Justice. Between them they could house whole populations of cities, but they were also more than capable of reducing one to rubble in an incredibly short space of time. They would provide the majority of the fleet’s firepower in addition to the drop-ships for the ground assault.
Flanking them were the faster and more maneuverable cruisers. Despite their reduced firepower when compared to a capital ship they could attack swiftly and in large numbers. This made them the perfect accompaniment to any assault.

After a brief wait a multitude of confirmation indicators chimed the main fleet’s readiness for combat.
Only two support craft had been forced to remain at the exit point which sent a crooked smile across Tarrick’s wrinkled face.
Despite the advanced technology available to them, travelling between distant points in space was always risky, and he had accounted for the possible loss of ten or more ships at least during transit. So the news of two intact but non-operational craft was more than welcome.
Once Tarrick was confident with the fleet’s dispersal and status he ordered the advance to the target. Before them a dull-grey moon flashed quickly by as they sped into a geosynchronous orbit with the target.
As they arrived the point-defence fleet was mopping up the remaining satellites in orbit, but Tarrick knew that only a handful of them were even the slightest of threats.
ā€œStand by to fire,ā€ ordered Tarrick.
The bridge crew and the rest of the fleet immediately responded with the opening of plasma batteries.
The dull thrum of charging weapons sounded throughout the hull of the Helgret , as the energy of several suns were channelled into cohesive balls of superheated plasma.
ā€œFire!ā€ Bellowed Tarrick
The ship shuddered violently before the inertia reduction field kicked in.
The display screen changed once more to the forward view just in time for it to be illuminated by hundreds of pulsing plasma shells all hurtling towards their individual targets on the planet below.
Tarrick was pleased by what he saw and had to restrain himself from roaring with joy. He was old enough to know that victory was far from assured.
But in the end, like every other world before it, Earth would fall and every trace of Humanity would die with it.


[Edited on 02.05.2009 10:54 AM PST]

  • 02.05.2009 7:36 AM PDT

That was a great piece of writing. To get this straight this has nothing to do with the epilogue story right? I loved the detail you put into the Captains overall "feel"

  • 02.05.2009 12:43 PM PDT

Posted by: MaxRealflugel
Cheers Wolverfrog. I've tried twice before, but it came to nothing.

Thanks Nuns, but all I really want them to do is turn around and say either "We like it Max, it really is in keeping with the whole Halo universe, but it won't become the next game."
or
"No it's pants and please stop writing."

I'd just like to know one way or the other. I just want to hear their opinion. I'm not asking to be hired as a writer (although that would be a dream come true), I just want to hear what they have to say about it, and what they think of the whole fanfic thing.

I would be surprised if they hired me to be honest. I have no writing portfolio to speak of (apart from some casual writing and this story), and I'm sure they would be a little sceptical or concerned if they hired an unproven writer.
Even though I am writing a novel at the moment, which is coming along nicely, they might consider such a thing a little risky.

The way that I write my Halo parts are quite different to how I write in a more proffessional manner. In the Epilogue story I tend to shorten things, or dilute them a little. This being due to the limit of characters that the thread will allow for each post.
I were to go into far more detail and emphasise the emotional side of things even more, then each part would be more like an entire chapter, taking up a whole page with a wall of text that may be too much for some readers.

These parts are meant to be a more relaxed and casual read for those who like diving into the Halo universe from time to time. But more than that, I just like to write.


i understand that. it'd be pretty cool to hear from bungie. but i dont think they pay attention to fan fiction in general. the only things that end up on their front page are montages and machinimas. but it would be awesome if they put someone like you in charge of continuing halo's storyline. your writing is very similar to the writing in the novels, and most of the stuff in your story is fairly plausible given what we know about the halo universe.

you mentioned that youre writing a novel. is this thread your novel or are you writing something else separate from this? in either case, i'd be very interested in reading it.

  • 02.05.2009 1:44 PM PDT

No it's not a Halo story. If it was, I'd be looking at a law suit for trying to release something without their sayso.

It's a thriller with a military twist, much like a Tom Clancy novel.

  • 02.05.2009 1:58 PM PDT

Posted by: MaxRealflugel
No it's not a Halo story. If it was, I'd be looking at a law suit for trying to release something without their sayso.

It's a thriller with a military twist, much like a Tom Clancy novel.


ahhh thats true. that was a dumb question on my part. well thrilling military twists sound exhilarating so if you do publish anything of that nature youve got a least one faithful reader so far!

edit: if youre interested, i recently posted a piece of my own writing on these forums. its pretty short. it shouldnt take more than 5 to 10 minutes to read. but dont worry about reading it or not; ill understand if youre too busy writing the rest of this awesome story youve got here =P. you can go to my thread here

i'd appreciate it if you read it and let me know what you thought, but i won't be offended if you dont wanna read it.

[Edited on 02.05.2009 2:26 PM PST]

  • 02.05.2009 2:13 PM PDT

Want to train your mad skillz? want to pass on your skillz to others?
Then join the Penguinators! an academy of greatness!
find out more here!

BTW, do we have an ETA on part 21?

  • 02.05.2009 4:50 PM PDT

I'll do some or all of it this weekend, depending on how busy I am.

Off Topic now:
I have just started a brand new group and am eager to make a success out of this with likeminded folk. If anyone is interested, then just pop along to the Xbox Gaming League on my Groups tab.

Back on Topic now, I'll get round to reading it mate and then I'll get back to you on your story.

Cheers all.

  • 02.06.2009 12:22 AM PDT

Posted by: Dropship dude
No, acnboy. Spartain Ken 15 is a lesser being. Much like the bacteria that lives in your shi­t.
Posted by: mike120593
My shi­t bacteria takes offense to that comparison.

Don't make me lel. You won't like me when I lel.

yay plz get 21 up soon max!

  • 02.06.2009 4:04 AM PDT

Like the story Nuns. In a way it's like the Cortana letters that were released before Halo: CE.

  • 02.06.2009 6:06 AM PDT

Wow, way back before the new millenium.

Still no luck on the news story, It's disgusting, the way any and all machinima gets accepted, but a masterpiece like this is neglected.

[Edited on 02.06.2009 7:42 AM PST]

  • 02.06.2009 7:41 AM PDT

Posted by: MaxRealflugel
Like the story Nuns. In a way it's like the Cortana letters that were released before Halo: CE.


thanks. thats kind of the effect that i was going for

  • 02.06.2009 7:42 AM PDT

I think its time to ruffle some feathers. It's time, to unleash hell.

A storm is coming...

  • 02.06.2009 2:46 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

The Enemy approaches, people and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms, and the atoms will become...Nothing...
I can be epic too, right?!

  • 02.06.2009 2:56 PM PDT

Posted by: ajw34307
The Enemy approaches, people and planets and stars will become dust. And the dust will become atoms, and the atoms will become...Nothing...
I can be epic too, right?!


Sorry, but no. That's a privilage only the author holds.

  • 02.06.2009 9:24 PM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Lol.
But, hey...I can dream, right? What? Dreaming isn't in the budget...Well you can take the budget and...er...shove it up my as*!

  • 02.07.2009 2:25 AM PDT


"From the darkness, a new light will spring forth and vanquish all those who dare to gaze at its beauty!"

[Edited on 02.07.2009 6:50 AM PST]

  • 02.07.2009 5:24 AM PDT

Shrinking back into the distant unknown, here i must wait for a reclaimer to restore what is rightfully mine... Galaxies will crumble before me as i climb the steps of reclamation. Until then, i must impatiently wait here in the distant unknown.

[Edited on 02.07.2009 7:55 PM PST]

  • 02.07.2009 7:31 PM PDT

If my purpose in life is to be hated, then I'll make a great boss

could you make the snipers "gauss snipers" (do exist, johnson uses one once)
This would mean brutes exploding all over the place!!!

  • 02.08.2009 9:07 AM PDT

I'm hoping for Mendicant Bias to feature somewhere in this fanfiction. And, could Johnson have survived somehow, maybe thanks to MB? Make it so Max.

  • 02.08.2009 9:38 AM PDT

You do realise that you're asking me to bring a character back from the dead? I'll look into it though.

  • 02.08.2009 11:37 AM PDT

By the power of truth, I, while living, have conquered the universe.

Bias' fate is unknown, he survived the firing of the Halos and perhaps he is in shards on different worlds.
I think a shard of him is on Guardian (Palamok, the Drone homeworld) which is the blue eye. I'd go into depth on that theory but sadly that is not on topic.

  • 02.08.2009 1:32 PM PDT

Posted by: MaxRealflugel
You do realise that you're asking me to bring a character back from the dead? I'll look into it though.


I'll PM you with my idea.

  • 02.08.2009 1:51 PM PDT