Oh
Em
Gee.
This is one of the best fanfics I have seen.
Like, evar.
Looks like a lot of work put into it, and I'll commend you for that.
And the storyline is epic too.
The only thing I can comment on negatively is the grammar, which isn't even that bad.
I mean, if you fixerized the grammarz, and wrote a lot more, I would buy it.
Good job, and I hope you continue to do more.