- last post: 01.01.0001 12:00 AM PDT
BUNGIE OFFICES ATTACKED--
Halo 3 Game and Engine Code, Xenon Development Kits Stolen.
REDMOND, WA-
At approximately 11:57 AM this morning, the offices of Bungie Studios in Redmond, Washington were raided by a group of crazed men led by a deranged individual calling himself “Teh_n00b”. The group gave warning through the IM services at Bungie Studios, 3 minutes before a crack team of hackers, including “Teh_n00b” himself, penetrated one of Bungie’s wireless internet nodes. The hackers proceeded to steal the Graphics and Physics engine coding of Bungie’s anxiously awaited new title for Microsoft’s new “Xenon” game system, plus the coding for the game itself. The hackers set off fire alarms, and men dressed like Bungie employees entered the windows of the building and managed to ferret away at least 3 Xenon development kits, while chaos ensued as Bungie employees frantically attempted to yank Ethernet and power cables out of their sockets in a wasted attempt to save the already lost data. As the group madly drove away from the scene, Teh_n00b yelled through a Megaphone, “This is Teh_n00b speaking, we have everything, and we demand you free our teammates at Beaver Creek before we return the stuff!” The words were met with a chant of, “Hail Char, our lord and master!” before the group vehicles lost the police and disappeared.
Shortly thereafter, Teh_n00b appeared in an XBox Live battle taking place at the Sidewinder map. Microsoft patched police into the game to talk to Teh_n00b, who communicated with the police in bizarre riddles composed of usernames and weapons from Halo 2, and with screams of “Rocket Whore!”, “GG!GG!”, and “Noobs!”, before screaming something about “The Covenant” and then shooting the Police’s avatars with a rocket launcher.
Teh_n00b and his group’s whereabouts are as of yet unknown. Bungie is frantic to recover their stolen property, and Jason Jones is quoted as saying, “This is a very strange turn of events for a day like today, and by one of our fans, too!”
Anyone who may have information leading to Teh_n00bs capture is urged to go to http://ilovebees.com and ponder the mystery of the Haunted Apiary for a good few hours, after which you should E-Mail Bungie and tell them about how much you love the Halo Series.
Source: Reuters