Alt+F4=secret weapon in Halo PC!
Well, I'm a Sophomore in High School, and for my Honors Biology Class, my teacher decided to make us write stories that "simplified the complex processes that make up cellular respiration." Being the Halo fanboy I am, I of course decided to write my story about the Master Chief. After working from 5:00 PM to 10:00 PM I emerged victorious with my story completed. So now I figured I might as well upload to the Bungie forums. Anyone who has gone through biology in high school or college will probably get a kick out of this, and others may enjoy some of the unique Halo humor I have included ("NOOOOOOOO!!!! Now how am I going to play 400 hours against seven year olds on Xbox Live??!!!??!") So here it is.
Please no flaming or just plain telling me this story is stupid or some other crap like that, I worked pretty darn hard on this and am not in the mood to listen to some twelve year old tell me it sucks.
Wall of Text Warning: This story is rather long, but it reads quickly and is kind of funny. Stop reading here if you don't want to read my story.
The Adventures of Master Chief and His Search for ATP
Few know the greatest missions the Master Chief ever faced. It was not the fight to save Earth, nor the fight to stop the Covenant, but the fight to get the energy his suit needs that was his greatest trial. The Master Chief had to go through… Cellular respiration.
It all started when the Master Chief first learned of the nature of his Mark VI Mjolnir Spartan Armor. It could protect him against plasma fire, give him super human strength and insane reflexes, but it needed special energy cells called Abiotic Tesla Projectors. The Master Chief’s Mark VI armor needed 38 of these Abiotic Tesla Projectors to power his suit to its maximum potential. The intelligence provided to him by the mission briefing had informed him that he could get these Abiotic Tesla Projectors from Glycolysis, The Krebs Cycle, and Chemiosomosis, but the details of these projects were a mystery to him.
The Master Chief found from his intelligence report supplied by his resident artificial intelligence; Cortana, that four of these Abiotic Tesla Projectors could be found on the small planet of Cytoplasmic Fluidia, where Glycolysis could be performed. “However,” Cortana informed the Chief, “You’ll need two Abiotic Tesla Projectors to make the four, so you’ll really only get two Abiotic Tesla Projectors. Fortunately we have two left over from our last experiment, so you can use them to start out your cycle”
The Master Chief collected the two Abiotic Tesla Projectors from the drop pod that had landed next to him while Cortana was talking, and booked the quickest flight to Cytoplasmic Fluidia.
Upon arrival, Master Chief immediately noticed how strange Cytoplasmic Fluidia was. There were many strange and unfamiliar creatures. Cortana scanned the creatures, and pointed one out to the Master Chief;
“See that one Chief? It’s called Glucose. You’ll need to use it later to create your four Abiotic Tesla Projectors.”
The creature Cortana pointed out was a six legged beast that glowed with some sort of energy. The Master Chief loaded his SRS 99D AM Sniper Rifle and shot the beast down. Cortana then pointed out a large structure that appeared to house a large amount of fluid, so the Chief picked up the carcass and headed toward the building.
As the chief got to the building, he saw that there was ancient technology surrounding it. He saw a port that looked perfect for the Glucose beast, so he pushed the six legged creature in. A machine immediately started up and engulfed the Glucose. Another port popped up in front of him, and Cortana advised him to insert his two Abiotic Tesla Projectors. He inserted the modules, and watched through the viewport as they energized the Glucose carcass. A series of reactions went off, but the Master Chief’s attention was distracted by the presence of two large winged creatures. Cortana quickly scanned them and alerted Chief that they were NAD+ - more local beasts. The Chief quickly loaded his BR55 HB SR Battle Rifle with special reduction bullets, which had conveniently appeared from the machine that was processing the Glucose. The bullets actually contained an H+ electron on the tip of the bullet. The creatures were killed, and the Chief’s special reduction bullets changed the beasts in NADH. Cortana advised the Chief to take the NADH with him, as he might need them farther down the line.
Suddenly six items popped out of the machine. First a little bit of H2O splashed out of the machine and hit Chief humiliatingly in the face. Then four new Abiotic Tesla Projectors came out of the machine, as well as two three legged creatures that looked like they were related to Glucose.
“Those are called Pyruvic Acid. They could also help us later.” Cortana told the Chief. The Master Chief quickly shot the Pyruvic Acid, since his policy is shoot first and ask questions later, and he didn’t feel like trying to get some stupid alien to follow him around. He hefted the Pyruvic Acid, the NADH, pocketed the Abiotic Tesla Projectors, and headed out toward his next destination.
“By the way Cortana, what is our next destination?” asked the Chief.
“Why we’ll be going to the Mitochondria System Chief, where we’ll find the Kreb Cycle Planetoid,” Cortana answered.
So the Chief drove in his Warthog vehicle to the nearest Intersystem Shaw-Fujikawa Spaceport, and hopped on the next flight to the Mitochondria System.
As the Chief arrived in the system, he saw a constantly rotating small planet.
“That’s the Krebs Cycle Planetoid Chief,” informed Cortana.
The Chief sprinted to the control deck and held the ships captain at gunpoint until he brought the ship to the Krebs Cycle Planetoid.
The Chief threw one the emergency Orbital Drop Shock Troopers out of his drop pod and used the pod to get through the atmosphere of the planet. When he landed, he realized he was in a strange place. The place was filled with lava, and was extremely hot. He wouldn’t be able to survive if it wasn’t for his awesome Mark VI armor. As he stepped out of the drop pod, he tripped and fell, dropping the Pyruvic Acids he had
brought with him from Cytoplasmic Fluidia. The acids fell into one of the lava streams, and sunk out of sight.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” screamed the Chief. He came down on his knees and moaned; “Now how am I going to spend 400 hours playing online against annoying seven year olds on Xbox Live!!??”
Suddenly lava erupted next to Chief, and the Pyruvic Acid was pushed up. But it wasn’t Pyruvic Acid anymore; it had been transformed into Acetyl coenzyme A, as Cortana annoyingly informed Chief. As the acetyl CoA moved towards the ground, another lava pit opened for it and it was absorbed. Shortly afterword, another eruption occurred and some citric acid flew out, along with some CO2. The citric acid was again absorbed into the lava, but the CO2 exited the system.
Suddenly the Chief saw yet another NAD+.
“How many of these things are there?” the Chief yelled. Fortunately he still had some reduction bullets, so he shot the NAD+ and it transformed into NADH. Another eruption occurred, and another substance shot out, along with some more CO2. Cortana probably would have told the Chief what the substance was, but the Chief had her muted since he really didn’t care.
Suddenly an Abiotic Tesla Projector flew out of the lava at the Chief, which he quickly caught with his ridiculous reflexes that had been created during his harsh training.
Another NAD+ flew down to attack the Chief, but he quickly shot it and transformed it into NADH.
Once again an eruption occurred, and yet another random substance shot out of the miniature volcano. However, this time something interesting came out of it. The Chief un-muted Cortana, since this new thing seemed pretty important.
“Hey Cortana, what’s that?” the Chief asked.
“It’s called FAD, Chief. It’s perfectly harmless-”
The Chief shot the FAD in the face with his reduction bullets and muted Cortana again. The FAD was transformed into FADH+.
Becoming repetitive now, another eruption occurred. Another NAD+ flew out, which the Chief yawned and shot. The NAD+, once again, turned into NADH.
“OK seriously what the heck” the Chief complained as yet another eruption occurred. Suddenly Cortana busted through his mute software and blared on his speaker system;
“OK MISTER YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST- ooh, look at the Oxaloacetic acid!”
“Yah whatever” the Chief groaned and got up, seeing that the eruptions had FINALLY stopped. The Chief stretched and promptly tripped, dropping his final Pyruvic Acid.
“Aw, crap” the Chief said.
Several hours later, an extremely ticked Chief boarded another spaceship with a total of four ATP, eight NADH, and two FADH2.
“Where to now, Cortana?” the Chief asked.
“Well, we do get to stay in the Mitochondria system. We’re going to a place called the Electron Transport Chain,” explained Cortana.
END OF PART ONE. CONTINUED IN NEXT POST