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  • Subject: How Shishka Stole Christmas
Subject: How Shishka Stole Christmas
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All around the world many gamers were excited and glad
It was Christmas time and hardly a game was bad

Many pre-ordered and bought new games for the holidays
But one gamer watched these people from a game studio surrounded in haze

His name was Shishka and he was what you can call an old grouch grinch
He felt angered and sad that gamers were leaving Halo 3 and made him start to -blam!-

"Why would they leave this game?" he poundered at his computer
"They are treating this game as if it were a week old tuber!"

"They go from Halo to Call of Duty to Gears to Left 4 Dead" he let out with a shout
"Now with these games out the cry over the Br vs the Ar and other things that agitate my gout!"

"I must stop these games from reaching gamers anymore" he said with a grin
"Then all they will play is Halo 3 for breakfast, lunch and din din"

So he decided to put on a red suit and cap and impersinate old Santa Claus
Suddenly he tripped over Ling-Lings jar and had to apply his head with some guaze

As quick as a flash he broke into house to house on a robbing spree
"No more lame ass games for you, I am looking at you Gears 2!" he said with glle

He hit another house, but was spotted by H.B.O site owner Louis Wu
This game blogger was older than thirty two

"Why Santa Claus are you taking my new games to enjoy, why?" he asked the fake St.Nick
"My dear boy" Shishka said "I just found this disk will burn up your Xbox and it will die" he lied

"So now I must take it back to the creators so they can fix this bug" he said covering his deciet
He walked Wu back to his room and handed him a copy of Halo 2 with a receipt

As quick as a flash he took all the games and brought them back to Bungie Studios to burn
But before he could do the deed he looked at the computer screen his mood began to turn

He saw that many were excited about the new games and it gave them great meaning
Now they were sadded that some games were disappearing and would give up gaming

This horrifed Shishka, he thought if the games were gone only his would be played
He soon learned that being the only game was not how fans were to be made

Shishka finally understood what it meant to be a gamer and went to fix things readily
And some say his heart grew three sizes that day, but that was sort of a bad thing medically

He managed to take some fat guys sleigh and went all over the world to return the games
The deed was done by Christmas Eve night, but was almost burdened by his itchy Hanes

At Christmas day he went back to his lair and smiled a great smile
He now could rest and make Halo 3:ODST better for a little while

"Merry Christmas to all gamers" he said on a special Weekly Update
"Please game hard, live great, and hell eat a damn cupcake"

And that is the tale of how a Junior Playlist Designer almost stole gaming Christmas

  • 12.21.2008 10:42 PM PDT

lawl :D

  • 12.22.2008 2:09 PM PDT