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Subject: type your jokes here
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Im bored so i wanna hear sum joke lol ill start .... hmmm i cant think of any lol...oh oh oh i got 1. what did the grape say to the kid...... nothing grapes cant talk ... lmao kinda corny but it was all i could think of at the time.

  • 07.06.2004 9:54 PM PDT
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Whats yellow and writes?









A ballpoint banana!

  • 07.06.2004 9:55 PM PDT
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LOL that was one of the best jokes i heard (directed at pistolpyro)

[Edited on 7/6/2004 9:56:27 PM]

  • 07.06.2004 9:55 PM PDT
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I got the best one.

PistolPyro is


is



is




STRAIGHT!


Hahahhahah. Sorry that was just a joke. :)

  • 07.06.2004 9:57 PM PDT
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If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave it's butt and teach it to walk backwards.

  • 07.06.2004 9:58 PM PDT
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gir- " i put out the fires"
zim- " out, you made them worse"
gir- "worse, or better"

for some reason that makes me laugh ssssssssssooooooooooo hard

  • 07.06.2004 10:03 PM PDT
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Posted by: Gestapo_
I got the best one.

PistolPyro is


is



is




STRAIGHT!


Hahahhahah. Sorry that was just a joke. :)


lmao that was so not cool lolstill funny tho i gotta use that 1 day lol

  • 07.06.2004 10:04 PM PDT
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ummm people its been 20 minutes lol im still waitin for sum jokes!!!

  • 07.06.2004 10:35 PM PDT
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What do you call two blondes stuck in a freezer?









Frosted Flakes!
(No offense to blondes)

  • 07.06.2004 10:37 PM PDT
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haha good 1 my turn... lol this sux i cant think of yet

  • 07.06.2004 10:45 PM PDT
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Ok
Two muffins are in an oven

Muffin one says:-man its getting hot in here
Muffin two says:-Ahhhh a talking Muffin

  • 07.06.2004 10:48 PM PDT
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A blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins.She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and her and asking if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts in her face: "Can't you see I'm winning."

  • 07.06.2004 10:49 PM PDT
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Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blond said "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

  • 07.06.2004 10:49 PM PDT
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a Beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shutup...you're next!"

A blonde woman competed with a brunette woman and a redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee she remarked, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms."

  • 07.06.2004 10:50 PM PDT
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Alligator Shoes-A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "-blam!-, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

  • 07.06.2004 10:50 PM PDT
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A Blonde Buys A Dildo-One day this guy comes to work at a dildo shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop. About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?" The guy says "30 bucks" "And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady. Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white" So she takes the black one and leaves. A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks "How much for your white dildos?" The man responds "30 bucks" She asks "And how much for your black dildos?" "30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man. So she takes the white one leaves. About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?" The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks" Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that plaid one?" The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250" The blonde agrees and takes it. Later that day the boss came back and asks "So what did you sell today?" The man says "I sold a black dildo, a white dildo , and your thermous flask for $250!"

  • 07.06.2004 10:51 PM PDT
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A Blondes Pain-A young woman said to her doctor, "You have to help me, I hurt all over." "What do you mean?" said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe. "Ow, even THAT hurts." The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?" "Why yes," she said. "I thought so," said the doctor... "You have a sprained finger."

Blonde on Fire-This blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire". The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you". Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me my house is on fire". The dispatch said "Mam calm down, How do we get to your house?". The blonde replied "Duh... In the big red truck".

  • 07.06.2004 10:51 PM PDT
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lol that was funnier than my grape joke haha

  • 07.06.2004 10:51 PM PDT
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Blonde in Space-A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question. "If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?" After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet." They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her. Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her. Finally, the blonde entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun." The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?" The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

  • 07.06.2004 10:52 PM PDT
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Drunk Blonde-A blonde is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over. The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No". So he radios the station and asks what to do. The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvet?" and the cop replies "Yes". So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her". So the cop does exactlly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick. The blond "sighs" and says please not another breathalizer test.

  • 07.06.2004 10:53 PM PDT
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Subject: Blonde Cop Recruits

Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a picture, and said,” To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities such as scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "Did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?" The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!" The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?" "Yes! He only has one ear!" The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,” Didn’t you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear!! You're excused too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but . . . " He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?” The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?" The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, duh! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses

  • 07.06.2004 10:53 PM PDT
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Sorry Mods if there were any bad words in there.

  • 07.06.2004 10:53 PM PDT
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its ok there isn't any

  • 07.06.2004 10:57 PM PDT
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Yeah, I don't see any blams.

  • 07.06.2004 10:59 PM PDT
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lol ty those jokes were awsome lol now im not so bored

  • 07.06.2004 11:02 PM PDT

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