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  • Subject: An ODST short Story.
Subject: An ODST short Story.

It’s all cyclical...

Nice work...good stuff

  • 12.24.2008 6:14 AM PDT
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Very nice, but 2 things.

I don't think the scope on a BR is an ACOG and also, unless you want to post this to places where Halo is not well known, or if you ever want to make it a book, then just say Battle Rifle, because that's what most people know it by here.

  • 12.24.2008 6:14 AM PDT
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I'm watching you Bungie.

ಠ_ಠ

Great wall of china

  • 12.24.2008 6:16 AM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


Finsh grade school, and get an attention span.

  • 12.24.2008 6:16 AM PDT

Almost a ghost.

Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


The lame jokes continue, just like that lame thread about armour.

Anyway nice story :)

  • 12.24.2008 6:18 AM PDT
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Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


Are you kidding me? It takes me more time to read the TV Guide than this (Don't think it's that short, I read really fast and my TV has a lot of channels.)

  • 12.24.2008 6:19 AM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

If you guys want a long read, then check out this monster I've been working on for a year. It's 1/4 done and almost 30 pages in word.

  • 12.24.2008 6:29 AM PDT
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Posted by: BK Burger Boy
If you guys want a long read, then check out this monster I've been working on for a year. It's 1/4 done and almost 30 pages in word.


Oh my god... my TV Guide sure doesn't compare to that...

  • 12.24.2008 6:32 AM PDT

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Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


Wow, you're so funny. And original too!

Seriously though, good story. I'm not sure about the mag size (36 I believe) or the ACOG (I looked on Halopedia and it's a telescopic sight according to them) part, but I thought it was pretty good.

[Edited on 12.24.2008 6:36 AM PST]

  • 12.24.2008 6:32 AM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

Posted by: Artemis Fowl
Posted by: BK Burger Boy
If you guys want a long read, then check out this monster I've been working on for a year. It's 1/4 done and almost 30 pages in word.


Oh my god... my TV Guide sure doesn't compare to that...


I need to check for errors and such and fix stuff that sounds bad, but it's almost done for the first act.

  • 12.24.2008 6:34 AM PDT
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Posted by: BK Burger Boy
Posted by: Artemis Fowl
Posted by: BK Burger Boy
If you guys want a long read, then check out this monster I've been working on for a year. It's 1/4 done and almost 30 pages in word.


Oh my god... my TV Guide sure doesn't compare to that...


I need to check for errors and such and fix stuff that sounds bad, but it's almost done for the first act.


Well have fun with that! :P

  • 12.24.2008 6:38 AM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

It's going to be a pain in the ass.

  • 12.24.2008 6:43 AM PDT
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Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


Just leave.

  • 12.24.2008 6:48 AM PDT

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

Posted by: EZappa88
Posted by: LLP SGT knox614
Great wall of china


Just leave.


Wow. At least I only got one of those stupid wall of text comments as opposed to last time.

  • 12.24.2008 6:54 AM PDT

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I read the other story you had linked in an earlier post, and I must say it was very good. A bit choppy at some point (a line of dashes or something to indicate a scene change would have been good at some parts). I like stories like the ones you wrote, telling a different story with a familiar setting (like the marine base parts in Halo: the Flood)

  • 12.24.2008 8:15 AM PDT
Subject: An ODST short Story.

Posted by: cB4d93
Posted by: Silent Eli
you are a good translator
Idiot can be a hard language to learn, but once you get it down, everything becomes so clear! The whole world will make sense to you.

“Get the hell down!”

Lance Corporal Adrian DeMarco dove away, sliding into the thick sand of the Ark’s desert. Bulbous purple craft screamed ahead, leaving two glassed craters where he once stood. The hostiles had all the intention of making sure they didn’t get out of here alive with their relic.

As his vision cleared, he saw his BR55HB SR rifle laying a meter away from him. He quickly crawled up to it, and staggered back to his feet. His two other squad mates, clad in the black armor of the ODSTs, were running away from the enemy. Hairy, apelike beasts. The Prophet’s tool of humanity’s demise, the Brutes..

Adrian fumbled with his rifle, until he got his eye into the weapon’s optical ACOG scope. His crosshairs met a brute’s head. Adrian pulsed the trigger, and let out a three round burst of semi-armor piercing rounds. The bullets slammed into the helmet of a Brute, knocking his helmet off.

One of his squad mates fired at the preoccupied brute, poking a cluster of three holes into it’s face. The beast twisted around and landed in the sand, where it twitched twice before it died.

White-hot projectiles embedded themselves inside the granite rock face behind him. Adrian realized that they were at the disadvantage. They were low on ammo and facing a full pack of brutes. Adrian wiped the sand grains from his visor and ran backwards, firing on the brutes.

“Adrian, let’s go!” called his squad leader, who wore the crimson shoulder insignia of a UNSC captain. Adrian picked up the pace, and sprinted towards his squad. They had taken cover behind a natural rock arch formation.

“We have to hold position until evac arrives,” said Captain Steinhauser, “the pelican has our coordinates.”

Adrian let out a sigh. Emerald plasma bolts streaked next to them, hitting the white sand and burning it into glass. Adrian checked his rifle. He had 22 rounds left in his 32 round magazine. The brutes were going to be on them in a matter of seconds. Adrian reached into his belt and felt a round shape. It was a fragmentation grenade. He unclipped it from his belt and removed the pin.

“Enjoy this, you hairy bastards,” Adrian cursed. He lobbed the grenade around the arch. He caught a glimpse of a brute’s surprised face. A loud, guttural thud rang out. Adrian poked around the corner, rifle sighted. The smoke cleared to reveal a dead brute, and two dazed captains. Adrian did not hesitate to return the favor of killing Barkley and Victor.

He switched his rifle to the Automatic setting, and let the brutes have it. He let out a barrage of 9.5x40mm rounds. His remaining squad mates flowed suit, unloading all they had on the brutes. They shook and quivered under the stress of the bullets, their armor venting cyan mist.

The brutes’ armor collapsed, exposing them to the fury of vengeful ODSTs. They buckled under the stress of the fire, and fell backwards. Their purple blood seeped into the sand, in contrast with the pure white grains.

“Nice work Adrian!” Complemented the captain, “ONI will be quite happy with the construct. Adrian unzipped his field stack and took out the silver object. They had recovered it from a forerunner terminal. ONI had sent them in before the Elites entered the portal. They were the ODST recon, the best the UNSC had to offer.

As a Pelican dropship screamed down from the granite spires that dotted this desert, Adrian let out a smile and put the object back into his pack. As sand blew outward on the ODSTs when the Pelican’s olive frame touched the edge of the cliff, Adrian and the rest of his squad entered the opened troop bay. He gently tossed the sack into the back of the compartment. The pilots gave them a thumbs up as the back door sealed shut. The Pelican ascended into the hazy skies, which now were dotted by flashes of plasma torpedoes. The Elites were here.

“Just another day on the job,” said Adrian, who inserted a fresh magazine into his battle rifle. The pelican’s rear thrusters straightened. The craft flew of towards the brilliant rising alien sun, to join the now raging battle with their newfound allies.



[Edited on 12.24.2008 6:12 AM PST]

  • 12.24.2008 6:12 AM PDT